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biped 
Mr. Wonderful
Member Rated:
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Sure, it's crap. But do I care? Of course not.
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| Oh, boy...I love to read "Creepy Crab" comics. | |
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| Excuse me...do you have the new "Creepy Crab" comic? | |
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| What's that behind your back? Is that the new "Creepy Crab" comic? | |
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| NO! IT'S THE NEW "SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL YOU AND CHOP YOU UP INTO LITTLE PIECES" COMIC! | |
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| Oh. Umm........ ............ ............ .......... err............... ........ ......... uhh......... ........ .......... .......... .......... What issue? | |
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| Silly...there's no such thing as "Shut Up Or I'll Kill You And Chop You Up Into Little Pieces" comics. I just said that to get rid of you. | |
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| Oh. So that IS the new issue of "Creepy Crab", then? | |
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| Yes. But this is the only copy we have left and you can't have it. | |
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| Well...would you read it to me, then? | |
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| Sure. I'll even act it out for you. Here, I'm just coming to the part where the comics store clerk grabs an axe and kills the guy in the blue shirt. | |
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| Cool. Is he a new character? | |
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| "And so, Creepy Crab, the Crab of Steel, girded his mighty loins for a fierce to-the-death battle with Nefarious Lester..." | |
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| Oh boy! I love Nefarious Lester! He's the most evil bad guy EVER! | |
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| "But first, Nefarious Lester had to go to the bathroom really, really bad." | |
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| That's what it says. And there's a picture of him dashing into a public restroom with stink lines coming out of his butt. | |
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| Wow! It must be all those chili-cheese burritos he ate in the last ish! | |
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| Ah-ha...a flashback. It appears he bathed those burritos in radiation before he ate them. "And now, armed with a deadly arsenal of lethal, radioactive turds..." | |
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| I shoulda KNOWN! That's just the sort of dastardly scheme Nefarious Lester would come up with! | |
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| Uh-oh...looks like he scored a direct hit. Creepy Crab's grabbing his mouth...he's gagging...he's throwing up. | |
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| Yay! Is it his special patented anti-bad guy corrosive acid throw-up? | |
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| No...it looks like masticated brussels sprouts. | |
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| NO! Not his SUPER-SECRET ENERGY SPROUTS! | |
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| "Now utterly bereft of his mighty crab-powers, Creepy Crab staggers into a nearby Jiffy Mart and lurches toward the produce section..." | |
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| ...and casts the magic power spell of the planet Krab-ton over a heap of fresh brussels sprouts! | |
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| "OH, Krab-ton's power...bright and keen! Fortify these spheres of green!" | |
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| "With vitamins of A and C! OH, mighty Krab-ton... TRANSFORM ME!" | |
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| Oh, wow. Now he's ripping Nefarious Lester a new asshole all over the centerfold. A classic Jim Steranko moment. Awesome. | |
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| NO FUCKING WAY! YIPPEE! THAT'LL TEACH HIM TO FUCK WITH CREEPY CRAB'S SUPER-SECRET ENERGY SPROUTS! | |
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[Click to view comic: '"Creepy Crab" Comics VI']
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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.
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