Human Stupidity Knows No Bounds by nicejohnson 4-30-04

I thought I lost my cd player today. WHy the hell am I suffering through two hours of bio again? Wouldn't it be great if I could...Hey, where's my cd player? Wah wah wah wah wah wah woh wah woh wah wah I went to every teacher I had today, asking if they had seen my MOM's cd player. Sweaty and gross, I gave up and went back to class. Have you seen this cd player? *holds up handmade sign* No dear. Even if I had, some ghetto black kid would have stolen it by now. Remember, if you like it, lock it down. We're not in suburbia anymore! Do you smell that? That's the smell of fear. From running. End. Oh my God...I left my cd player at home! I just remembered! Why is Lauren hitting herself with that book?

They Based That Mean Girls Movie On MY Life by nicejohnson 4-29-04

Hey guys, what's up? Not much. You know Lauren, we never see you with your hair down. What does it look like? Oh its not that great, but I'll show you. *SHAZAM* *snicker* It looks great (and by great I mean fro-tastic), Lauren! You should wear it down more often! Back in the classroom, while admiring her makeup... WAITAMMINIT! My hair looks like SHIT! It's all poofy and lopsided! Dammit....I've STILL got it.

Field Trip! by nicejohnson 4-28-04

Listen up you old farts! Today we'll be going on a field trip to the circus! And I don't want anybody shitting on themselves this time, got it? I have to go... She looks in the shed. Well, here we are at the fucking circus. Now go off and look elderly or something while I fuel my drinking problem. This doesn't LOOK like the circus... To be continued.... HELP ME! OH GOD HELP ME!!! THE ANGUISH! NOT THE POLE AGAIN! LETUSOUTLETUSOUTLETUSOUT

The End. by nicejohnson 4-28-04

What in tarnation...? Please help us! We've been stuck here for so long, I never though anyone would find us! She leaves. Oh thank God! Now untie me so I can help the others! Oh I'm afraid I can't do that, dear, I'm too old. My brittle and ashy hands would turn to dust if I even touched you! Besides, it's time for my sedatives. I do believe I'm hallucinating again! Scary alkie enters. I'm so lonely *hic* MY husband left me for a 2-cent whore, my parents hate me, and I have this weird rash on my- OH GOD COME BACK OLD LADY COME BACK!!!! HELLLLPPPPP!!!!!

I haven't posted my comics here for a while, so I hope people at least point and laugh out of pity (or better yet, humor) instead of shaking their heads and wondering how I killed my parents. Which I didn't, by the way!

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You know you totally missed me!

Your comics confused and upset me. I feel like crying, but the tears refuse to come. I feel like screaming, yet I remain mute. My distress is claustrophobic...suffocating...overwhelming. My scorched spirit descends into a writhing abyss of nameless, soul-searing horror.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

So...You liked them?

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You know you totally missed me!

Of course. Your confusion may be due to the fact that I accidentally left out a comma.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I had no idea you made such forking randomly funny comics.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Nicejohnson, I'm a leprechaun.*

* I like the comics. They are amusing.

? You're Irish? But I thought you were Jewish...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

I'll do both.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

nicejohnson, I liked them. They were silly.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

The hair one amused me greatly, because it reminds me of what happens when I don't put hair gel in my "fro" every morning. =)

I liked the bit with the comics best.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

? You're Irish? But I thought you were Jewish...

I'm Irish-Polish-Jewish-Sicilian-Black-Asian-Hawaiian-Alaskan-Duck-Swedish.

? You're Irish? But I thought you were Jewish...

I'm Irish-Polish-Jewish-Sicilian-Black-Asian-Hawaiian-Alaskan-Duck-Swedish.

hoooboy...and I thought I was a mutt. I'm 1/2 Italian (Colibraise and Roman) 1/4 irish, less than 1/4 Welsh, and whatever else is mixed in with the welsh is unknown territory (I know its something...just not sure what)

And what part of Duck is your family from?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

I'm 1/2 "I don't know" and 1/2 "I don't give a fuck."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

And 100% biped.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

and I 100% love you guys. *sappy music plays, everybody looks mushy*

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You know you totally missed me!

Wow, Nicejob Nicejohnson. I admire the fact that you use so much different type of pictures, yet they all mean the same thing. I am afraid to change a cherecter's entire look becouse I am afraid no one would get it. But for you.... I don't think anyone got it... untill reading it a few times. You have to read these to understand them, it looks like a ton of mistakes till you really buckle down and read them.

nicework nicejohnson !

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[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/streetproject/edited%20photos/baby.gif[/IMG]

Normally, if you don't read something that has words in it, you can't understand it.

I use the Comics Patch. No more pesky reading; they're just absorbed through the skin.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

quote:

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Wow, Nicejob Nicejohnson. I admire the fact that you use so much different type of pictures, yet they all mean the same thing. I am afraid to change a cherecter's entire look becouse I am afraid no one would get it. But for you.... I don't think anyone got it... untill reading it a few times. You have to read these to understand them, it looks like a ton of mistakes till you really buckle down and read them.

nicework nicejohnson !

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Nursery Rhymes: Old Mutha Hubbard by nicejohnson 5-07-04

Old mutha Hubbard was kind of strange. I predict a great musical comeback of the 12th year in the new millenium for Meredith Brooks.... I predict that I will have killed and eaten you before you make anymore crackpot predictions. Have you seen the Christmas lights dearie? *this is asked at five minute intervals I WON'T SUCCOMB TO YOUR PSYCHOTIC WHIMS YOU OLD BAG OF DUST~!!! Editor's Note: Although it may have seemed that I foolishly tried to use a tv as a cheap sub for a mirror, I didn't, and she's that crazy. Jeez, you guys are so stupid. Oh no! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?I'VE TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE RARR OH GOD I CAN'T SEE MYSELF IN THE MIRROR!

Fresh meat.

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You know you totally missed me!

That one was what I like to call "pleasantly nutty."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Mind Control Cookies by nicejohnson 5-06-04

In bio at the beginning of the year we always used to have this joke... Hey Andrew, don't eat the cookies! Mrs. Scott put mind control serum in them! Why else would she give them to us? *snicker* I know, dude! Seriously, I'm never gonna even touch them! *snicker* But then... I'm kind of hungry...But Andrew is kind of cool so I don't want him to think I'm some kind of hypocritical freak. But I love chocolate! But... Whoa, her eyes just rolled back into her head! SO I ATE IT, OK? SUE ME I WAS HUNGRY! *gobble* Dude. Did you just eat one of the cookies? Poser.

Go ahead. Read it.

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You know you totally missed me!

That comic was an insightful representation of the strict behavorial rules inherent in a classroom social construct.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.