Hey, woodcramp grampamutt! Cranky pigeons crowd the windmill climber, you dig? Halt all operations, make way for clinko-stinko!

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy these comics, they're a labor of love. Let me know what you think, ok?

Thanks!

EVERSON THE WISE

Oyster Mead Dogpile Cumberbund by Everson 5-17-04

As Rush once said, "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." Mentally ill homeless clown protect cardboard home with poison hand-lotion. Oyster mead crackerbread. Got some? Rot and die, scary circus reject. But sometimes, sitting still for hours on end as you dream of killing Gretchen-Meyer can be a bad thing. I am not programmed to understand, I am programmed to search, destroy! What's his deal? And you thought LOIS was sexy! WHOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Left-hand foot cry salty river sweat and stink! I'm afraid you get a ticket for choose up the checkerstripe dogpile cumberbund!

Susie's Vial Offering by Everson 5-17-04

The darkness fell, and the wolves howled. Poor Chinese kids poodle swarm. Hazardous waste will hearken and threaten the faithful manatee pigeon diaries! Cowboy Jack will protect Susie from the praying mantis artillery M-20 Rocket Grenade Propellers with bubbles and sticks. Blow, bubbles, blow. May you float through the air as doves. YAY! But he couldn't protect her from the present-bomb offered by perverted space alien! Here's a present in exchange for a vial filled with pee! Please accept the deal! No WAY! That's totally grody.

The Philosophical Patriot by Everson 5-17-04

In the newly self-appointed inter-generational groundswell, Mack destroys his rocket-launcher. How long is the water-rocket trapezoid? Frogs spasm kill touchy eggplant stickies! Life in the wild, eat Wheaties and ride a tricycle. Smell my armpit, pond scum wheelio! Life's not all eat strawberry shortcake and sit on a pink pillow! Heart on kill something why is the black birds flying. Weep to think fill million air fly things. Dude.

Gretchen-Meyer Wildebeast by Everson 5-17-04

Part taco wants eyedrop handgrenade. Kilowatts push for the tremor leaves. Rag the crowded thermal fan. Why do you continue to spread the jam, Charlie? Want sugar on the wildebeast. Maybe later Gretchen-Meyer's ragdoll seed. And you thought Jesus loved Santa too! Susie wants a mildew? Cramp for the garbagecan. Can in the panel block, block in the ice monkey.

I think I need to be checked out for ADD. I couldn't keep my eyes on one panel long enough to read the words. [u]Too distracting.[/u]

Somehow incoherent...

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I think, therefore I make comments on a forum.

The imaginative wordplay in your comics is done in the spirit of Griffy's beloved "Zippy the Pinhead" series, but without the finesse. You probably have the ability to develop this into funnier comics, though.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Your comics made my head hurt. I couldn't even read through the first two without losing my concentration. X_X;

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

You didn't miss much. At least, I don't think you did. I sure didn't have a clue as to what was going on.

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Blue is the color of victory.

Come on now, you HAVE to have understood what was going on! It all makes perfect sense... if you're an extraterrestrial crackwhore Reptilian Gray from the planet URANUS. That or schizophrenic. Anyway, thanks for the comments. Since no one seemingly got the humor, I guess my purpose was accomplished. The ever-brilliant Mr. Kaufman would have been proud indeed.

Everson the Who

I get the humor -- I've always appreciated well-turned non-sequiturs and artfully-arranged groupings of seemingly unrelated words and phrases. I believe that, if you want to, you can use this as a basis for comics that go beyond that and make the reader laugh instead of just having a mild mental appreciation for the nimble wordplay. It's like the paintings of Salvador Dali -- many people enjoy looking at them, but they rarely point at them and go "The clocks are melting! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I get the humor behind it. I've also got a predilection for seemingly incongruous sentences and what not. Something's still missing, though...

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

What Biped said, except for the length of the 'HAHAHAH!!!' at the end. Obviously.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

This is what I imagine it would be like if William Burroughs were an SC member. And not dead, obviously.