Gran- Park by FrixFrax 5-27-04

Fucking park, what the fuck did you bring me to the park for! Mum, you like the park! What's in the park fucking boring, birds chripring giving me a fucking headache Mum I don't mind you swearing at home but please there are children about! Right then, lets go home then! Oh so that's is it, I only visit her once a week, she might die tomorrow but lets stick her back in her fucking home, OK you go ahead! I'll fucking read my magazine, shall I. All alone! I'm sorry Mum, lets go feed the ducks

Gran 2- Salt by FrixFrax 5-27-04

Hi welcome, to Hoodz Burgers how may I help you mam! I asked for my Hoody Fries without salt, what kind of service is this, how can I as the consumer recommend this place to my friends if you can't get my order right! I am terribly sorry, about that I'll just go get you some more without salt Thank you very much! Fucking incompetent bitch!

Gran 3- TV by FrixFrax 5-27-04

Sorry Mum, I'm waiting on the TV repair man you can't watch your soap today! I can fix it! I've repaired many a TV in my time! Bugger, it's just your picture screwed up, I can fix it! Well it's junk isn't it! Flaming TV, get on the phone to the fire service, my god they don't make TVs like they used to!

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Is it wrong to laugh?

Gran 4- Church by FrixFrax 5-27-04

So you belive god really does exist, vicar? Why of course yes, he made me and you what we are today! Well why the fuck do I have bad hip and another thing would it kill you to make you speeches a little shorter I'm sitting there bored out my fucking mind listing to you gibbering on! I am terribly sorry, you feel that way, I suggest you try another church! Holy christ, my soaps on! Fucking vicar keeping me behind late. Stupid holy fucking bastard!

Gran 5- Swear by FrixFrax 5-27-04

Welcome, I'm going to help you stop swearing! I don't have a fucking swearing problem! Now, see this is what we want to avoid! Avoid what speak up you fucking curly haired... Now stop! After this session you shall not swear anymore! Hmmm...

Gran 6- Home by FrixFrax 5-27-04

Hey Mum, how did the swearing treatment go It went rather good actually It did! Of course, now I feel like I can sing with the birds, and lay in the sun! Well Mum, that's great, your finally on the step to a new future Of course it didn't work! I showed him exacly what to do with his fucking swearing course and rammed my stick right up his backside! Probally enjoyed it too by the way he swings!

Gran 7- Stroke by FrixFrax 5-27-04

That was the nursing home on the phone... Yeah? It's your Mum, she's dead... What? Dead they say she had a stroke in town... I-I I can't belive it!

Gran 8- Hell by FrixFrax 5-27-04

It's getting late Mum, I better get going so I guess this is goodbye... Goodbye Gran, say hello to the angels for me Fucking hell!

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Is it wrong to laugh?

I enjoyed reading Gran's heart-warming saga.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

That makes one of us.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

I've lost my funny streak :( Allthough I don't actually remember having one in the first place!

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Is it wrong to laugh?

A funny streak is like a fancy sports car with a leaky fuel-line. It's better to have a funny bicycle. I think you have a funny bicycle.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

This would be so much better if you hadn't have ripped it straight from the 'Catherine Tate Show'.

Sorry, but what on earth is "The Catherine Tate Show" :S

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Is it wrong to laugh?

Don't act like you don't know. Say 20 Hail Mary's and be on your way.