Too much narration and not enough action. I know it's difficult when you're not drawing the art yourself, but as much as possible you should try to show us what happens rather than tell. Also, the punchline, while potentially funny, is kind of a let-down considering it's built up over three panels. Punchlines involving the sudden death of a character are best delivered quickly, IMO. And it doesn't make sense to me that they would suddenly not be in the video game world. What other world would Cloud and Vincent exist in?
There's something I don't get about the two-part strip you just posted. I think that the fourth panel doesn't fit with the others. It suggests that the kid isn't really such a die-hard fan. And if S-E themselves think the game is weak, then I don't understand the joke in having them execute their fans. They've got nothing to cover up, no revenge to exact, and why pile punishment on fans who've already received it? Still, I liked the actual punchline in the sixth panel.
(I haven't yet played any FFs since 9, so I'm not saying I agree or disagree with any of these opinions. People always hate new FF games and then come around in the end. I'll see for myself. When I get around to it.)
Well, nothing kills a joke like overanalyzing it, but hopefully you can see some of what I'm getting at with this. Put a little more thought into why your comic is funny and how you can get it across to the reader. You're off to a decent start, so don't give up.
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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!
