The Poor Little Elf -- 1 by biped 6-23-04

Well, now that the polar ice caps have melted, I'm homeless and out of a job. Me too! Right, Santa? You? Nobody gives a fuck about YOU! Elves are vile, disgusting little creatures... nature's fuck-ups. But...you love us...right, Santa? LOVE you? HO-HO-HO! I love CHEAP LABOR! That's what I love, DUMBASS! Heh, heh...oh.

The Poor Little Elf -- 2 by biped 6-23-04

Now, march right down to the unemployment office and get a job. And if you don't get one, then don't come back. Heh, heh...okay, Santa. What are your qualifications? I can make toys, heh-heh! Wonderful new toys for the girls and boys! Can you make video games? Computer software? Electronic remote-control devices? Things that pop and flash and go "bleep-bloop"? What the fuck are you talking about?

The Poor Little Elf -- 3 by biped 6-23-04

Well? I got a job shoveling shit, Santa! Heh, heh... You're not bringing home enough money to support the lifestyle I'm accustomed to! Go out and steal some! NOW! Oh...oh, my...heh, heh...okay, Santa... Give me all your money, or... or I'll kill you... heh, heh... MADRE DE DIOS! I'M BEING ROBBED BY ONE OF NATURE'S FUCK-UPS!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Poor Little Elf -- 4 by biped 6-23-04

Can I help you? Give me all your money... and no tricks... or I'll kill you... heh, heh... I brought home some more money, Santa... but I had to kill some people to get it... innocent people...heh, heh... It's NOT ENOUGH! Go out and get some more -- I don't care HOW you have to do it -- or DON'T COME BACK! Now MOVE IT! Yes, yes, the watch, too...heh, heh... or I'll kill you... *sob* I've had this watch since 1939... one of Santa's elves made it for me... *choke*

The Poor Little Elf -- 5 by biped 6-23-04

I made him that watch...and now I've had to kill him... because he twitched... heh...Santa's turned me into a monster...heh, heh...a monster... ...and TOMORROW you'll go RIGHT BACK OUT and do the SAME THING, you hear? Now bring me my DINNER, FREAK! Heh, heh...okay, Santa...coming right up... Did you like it, Santa? I put something special in it... just for you, heh-heh... rat poison... because you were such a big, fat, stinking rat...heh, heh...

The Poor Little Elf -- 6 by biped 6-23-04

Now I'm homeless again...and so hungry...so... hungry... heh... heh... Hi! Aren't you one of Santa's elves? CHOMP! CHOMP! GULP! Mmm... yes, my child... I was one of Santa's elves... and now I'm a cannibal... a monstrous, unholy cannibal... I'm afraid you'll have to come with me, elf. And no false moves... or I'll have to kill you. Heh, heh. OH, BOY! They gave me a job in the WORKSHOP! I wonder what "license plates" are?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

all that elf and not one jizz turret?

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xx( o Y o. )xx

I had to save something for the sequel.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

very well thought out, bi. But, I was hoping for a prostituting role for the little fella. My bro wrote a story about Sparky, the christmas elf, and he ended up with a sore asshole.....

Just my $.02...

me :-)

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Jump already....you said you would......

Hmm...maybe I'll do that in the prequel.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.