Well, on this wet, wretched day in Pennsylvania I decided to go on a mystical magical vision quest fueled by Bacardi Orange and Mother Nature. Yeah I know I shouldn't, but it's the closest thing I get to a vacation these days. Anyway, here are the pearls of wisdom with which I have returned:

1) A floor-stand lamp makes a lousy sparring partner.

2) Shrooms are a wonderful gift of nature that expand your capacity to care about a hundred-fold. Unfortunately, you'll probably just spend that hundred-fold wondering where your fucking cigarettes got to.

3) Stripcreator.com is a shitty place to come down off a buzz, unless your idea of a mood enhancer is a picture of Dick Cheney's head pasted on to a giant cat.

Oh, and regarding item 3, thanks for making my life complete.

You really are a bunch of fucking A-holes.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Zaster, Zaster, Zaster:

A shroom-fueled vision quest would require a trip out to the Appalachian Trail, which in Pennsylvania constantly poses the threat of broken ankles without the promise of grand vistas. Oh well: that's the state you live in. But one thing is for sure. Sparring with a floor lamp doesn't cut it. Next time, go out in the woods. I'll go with you, but I'll be designated non-shroomer, so no one will die.

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What others say about boorite!

I was having this conversation yesterday with andydougan. All shrooms ever made me do was regret the bad decisions I made in my life and get really upset at myself for not calling my grandmother, who is descending into pre-Alzheimer's dementia.

Anyone have any POSITIVE experiences on psychedelics?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Billy Jack did.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I used to have great experiences; the kind that make some people almost evangelistic about psychedelics. But after you do the stuff often enough you start to catch on to some of its tricks. Your best experiences turn out to be exaggerations of your own hopes and expectations. Your worst experiences turn out to be exaggerations of your own fears. That might sound obvious, but I used to be willing to believe that maybe something was being communicated from outside; that I was having a spiritual experience in the most exotic sense of the word. Nowadays I'm pretty sure I'm just jacking my own brain chemistry off.

That could be O.K. too, in the right setting (as Boo suggests) and with the right mindset. But yesterday I feared the experience would be cheap and mundane, and that fear came to life. The booze probably didn't help things either.

BTW I didn't really mean to call you all a bunch of A-holes. I just tend to get overly truthful and honest about my feelings while under the influence. ;P

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

But, I really AM an asshole, Zaster. It's true. Not the pulsating barrier that opens like a Star-Trek door to the outside world to allow the poop to breathe.

But the kind where I'm a dick to people and they say "Gee, what an asshole." Kajun and I apparently have more in common than he guesses.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

zas, do you live anywhere close to pittsburgh, thats where i live

by the way, does anyone live near waldorf, MD? I may be taking a trip out there in the near future and any place to stay would be most appreciated

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xx( o Y o. )xx

Shit, ausrotten is applying for a federal job, isn't he? That's the only reason a young man would ever find himself in Waldorf, Md.

You'll be the punkest bureaucrat in the whole department!

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You can stamp the document and hand it back to the applicant and say "FUCK YOU!"

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What others say about boorite!

I live on the other end of the state. I can throw a bag of trash out my window and it lands in NJ. It's very convenient.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

EVERYONE throws his trash in NJ.

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What others say about boorite!

Even punker that Rumsfeld?

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xx( o Y o. )xx

OK, no one is punker than Rumsfeld. He's a beast.

RUMSFELD ON DA MIC!

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What others say about boorite!