Sorry, just realized that I forgot to include comics in my last post. More comments would be appreciated.

The weirdest thing... by Mister_Owens 8-10-04

It's been so strange lately. If I go out, the only women that really hit on me are, well, old. That is weird. What, do I have 'gigolo' written across my forehead? Well, you're eye candy. What?! Then why don't I get laid more? Well, you do come off as a bit... abrasive.

Mr. Owens institutes discipline... by Mister_Owens 2-19-04

Kids don't listen... So, in review, there are... hey, turn around and pay attention!!! blah blah blah SHAME!! sometimes they need to be made to listen... That's it! If you don't shut your goddamn motherfucking mouth right fucking now, I will dropkick your ass out the motherfucking window!! oh shit! unfortunately it sounds more like this... Son, I need you to sit down in your seat quietly, ok? i love being in control

A History, part I by Mister_Owens 8-05-04

After watching High Fidelity, I decided that I would tell my own story. This will not be limited to the Top 5, but will instead showcase my entire run of relationships. Let's begin with Robyn. I was 16. We dated for 30 days, then she dumped me. I had my first kiss with her while watching Anaconda. I keep thinking of that line, you know, "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hon." An old friend, Lesley, and I went to prom. We hit it off, but she was also seeing a 46-year old. I haven't heard from her since I left for college 5 years ago. Consider this my revenge for you teasing me when we were young.

A History, part II by Mister_Owens 8-05-04

Within a week of arriving a college, I had met Lisa. We hit it off, but never actually entered into a 'relationship.' By the way, she was a flute player in the band. I like sex. Since we weren't in an actual relationship, we still met other people. None are of consequence for this discussion, mostly just an occasional make-out session. We don't matter. Katie and I became good friends. She also holds the record for my shortest relationship ever: 15 hours. I'm sorry, but I'm probably going to go back to my ex-boyfriend.