In the four times in my life that I've been unemployed (twice due to lay-offs), I've never had anywhere near as much trouble finding a decent job as I'm having now. However, I finally got an interview today. Going in, I didn't know much about the company except that they make medical devices of some kind, and that they're actually bucking the trend of lay-offs, downsizing, and increasingly shitty benefits in the U.S.

In fact, thier recent growth has been amazing. How are they doing it? Well, it turns out they manufacture drug-testing kits; you know -- the whizz quiz. Apparently, the only growth industry around here is the one that thrives on paranoia, suspicion, and the humiliation of employees and job-seekers. I found this to be pretty emblematic of how low the U.S. is sinking under the leadership of blindly ideological, fatcat corporate dynasts and scumbag lawyers from both major parties.

Anyway, the job itself is just mindless widget making. The take-home lesson, kids, is stay out of colleges and trade schools. They won't do you any good. Chances are high that your skills will be irrelevent before you even graduate.

For my own part, I've decided to summon all the world's evil and create an army of the damned. Only in this can my seething hatred find release.

I probably shouldn't let that slip out during my next job interview though.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Greed sucks.

It's killing the world.

And we're letting it.

*sigh*

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

You're recruiting politicians and lawyers?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

MY advice is to get into college and do your best to get good grades, go for the major you love, but makre sure you have a minor that you love just a bit less. Going to college is *not* pointless. It can mean the difference between night manager at Burger King and CEO of a startup company worth million.

Yes, the job market is worse today than it really should be, but don't let that defeat you. Unless you think you can get in, make a shitload of cash, and get out before the fall, don't pick up on fad careers (like all the people in the early-mid 90s who hopped on the internet bandwagon).

Sure, a lot of jobs have been phased out (hell, my dad can't find work, and he's an electrician), but the best job you can ever have is one you create. If you can't find a job, diversify, learn new skills. College or not, new skills are always helpful in the market. I lost my last job because I didn't have the skills needed as the company was expanding, so I was let go.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

When he says college, he means specialized colleges, not University.

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Poop.

What you do is find out where your CEO lives. Then find out which is most in need of a banging... his wife, daughter or family pet. then, years later when he lays you off you still have that to look back on.

Oh. and stay in college kids. That's where you'll have the best sex of your life.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Unless you go to a tech college. Then it's a sausage fest.

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Poop.

[Click to view comic: 'Blatant Ripoff']

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

The entire field of high technology has evaporated, son. That includes excellent jobs in electronics and IT. These should not have been fads. Something is not just a little wrong here in America. It is severely, flat-out broken, with parts falling off and littering the road. I know people who literally didn't have thier student loans paid off before watching the career they trained for disintegrate.

I know there are no guarantees in life, but I've watched two industries (and I'm using this term broadly) fall out from under me in the past 10 years. And I've been alot luckier than some. It's more than a little rediculous.

I can't afford to retrain again, even if I still had the ambition. The rewards of education are dropping and the costs keep rising. The system is brokety broke broke broke.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I'll be the damned secretary. I need a job as well.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

You all should try getting jobs in Property Management. Not real estate, that is a different field (but only slightly), it's a tough job and you have to put up with a lot of shit from people, as well as possible dangerous situations, depending on what kind of property is being managed, but it's a decent stepping stone. And people with skills are needed.

Of course, they pay jack shit. Just like every other fucking job. I now have to convince my Human Resources manager that I am monetarily worthy of my last promotion. Even though I was promoted, I never received a raise, and now they want to justify the wage increase. How fucking ridiculous is that?

When is this shit going to change?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

When we vote in someone from a party that *isn't* in bed with major companies and interest groups who spend $10,000 on a fucking plunger, get some goddamn business reform, and overall improve the economic status of the country.

In short: never.

Everyone's so busy worrying about "budget surplus" and "budget defecit", how about we worry about "JOB DEFECIT"? There needs to be incentive for new businesses to open, and old ones to expand.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Let's all become whores!

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Poop.