What If...? --1 by biped 10-08-04

Well, today's the day! I, Thomas Crapper, will invent the flush toilet! But, Tommy... you promised to invent me a new recipe for ground beef. Oh, that's right. I'll get right on it, Mom. That other thing can wait. Thank you, dear. Several years later... Welcome to McCrapper's. Would you like some crap? Yes, I'd like a double Big Crap and two Happy Crappers with extra crap, please.

What If...? -- 2 by biped 10-08-04

This new device I just designed will help relieve female sexual maladies! I'll call it the -- Oh darn! My pencil broke again. I wish someone would invent a more reliable writing instrument. Hmm...a challenge! I think I have just the thing in mind! I'll call it the -- Several years later... All right, class, we're having a pop quiz today. Everyone get out your dildos. Teacher, my dildo stopped working! Can I borrow one of your dildos?

What If...? -- 3 by biped 10-08-04

I heard you were put in the stocks for unlawful common knowledge last week. Yes, to my undying shame I must admit that you speak verily. Was it unpleasant when the stocks closed around your head? I'll say. There's nothing worse than the sound of that foul, unmistakable clattering klunk. Several years later... Did you just hear a fucking noise? It must be my first-graders. I leave them alone for one minute and it's nothing but fuck, fuck, fuck all over the place.

What If...? -- 4 by biped 10-08-04

Yum-yum! This new hard-candy-on-a-stick sure is great, Granny! It's my new invention, dear. I call it a "lolly-pop." Aw, geez, Granny! Can't ya name it after me? Huh, can't ya, huh? Can't ya, huh, huh, can't ya, huh? Oh, of course I will, my dear, sweet little Richard. Several years later... Mmm-boy! I sure do love sucking and licking a big, hard dick! I slurped down eight big, hard, yummy dicks yesterday!

Please feel free to add your own if you think of one.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

What if...? by NooniePuuBunny 10-08-04

I need to classify this sound that comes out of... AH! I've got it! But professor, you haven't named this new species of flower yet. Oh very well, I can name that other thing later... Years later... Why thank you, Suzie! This fart smells so sweet....

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Noonie, that comic smells just like you!