I have no idea what to do for this contest... my penguins and I didn't expect to win. And I haven't won (or even entered) anything since CC 184, so instead of thinking of anything original, I'm just going to re-do the first contest I did, which is #21. I'll repost the rules here:

1) For this contest, the comic has to have two panels which have the same background and use the same characters. The characters don't have to be in the same pose, but they do have to be in the same position, as in left/right of the panel. The other panel has to have a different background and different characters. I'll post some examples after the fine print, even though they don't follow the rest of the rules.

2) Somewhere in the comic you have to mention a color and use a non-English word.

3) Entrants have to withdraw from their current religion and worship me as their one and only true god.

Judging will be done whenever I feel like it, which will probably be sometime Saturday the 27th, although I might be delayed by Thanksgiving.

[size=1]
Standard Fine Print

[list]
[*]Stay away from jokes about other SC strippers and forum in-jokes such as TOBOR, wirthling sucking, Cowboy Physics, etc. They're old, they're tired, and many of them weren't funny to begin with. So even though they're technically allowed by the rules, I will not find them funny. So you will lose.
[*]Go ahead and post as many entries as you want.
[*]Series are welcome, but the comics will probably be judged individually.
[/list]
[/size]

Here are some examples of what I mean by rule #1:

A bad call by Jon by Scyess 2-23-01

What's the matter, punk? You talk big but you don't show me what you've got! HIYA! I'm judging my distance and examining your kata for weak points. No you're not, you jerk! You're watching me kick at you to catch glimpses of my underwear! Uhhhhh... Wow! It's not often we get a human kicked here all the way from Earth! I've had dates that ended worse. Now help scrape me up, will you?

Misconception by Scyess 3-08-01

Hi, Tataki! It's me, Jon! I'm an elephant now! What the... It should wear off in a few days, but I figure as long as I weigh over three tons I can ask you out without getting the crap beaten out of me. Grrrr... In other news, an elephant was seen today roaming downtown with its trunk mysteriously rammed up its ass. That's it. Pack your bags, Martha. This town is just too wierd for me.

Comic Contest XVI: This is Fiction. I Swear! by Scyess 3-26-01

Hi, honey. What's up? You know the vegetable garden you've toiled to grow in the back yard for the last 10 years? I had it ripped out and replaced with the biggest, ugliest lawn ornament I could find. This had better be his subtile way of telling me he wants a divorce. Of course, all this really is is my subtle way of telling you I want a divorce!

(...and don't forget rule #2! #3 is also very important, though it's more for your own good.)

---
"Old" is the old new.

This is an archived strip. But I'm tired and it's late. I'll do something original later.

Dude by BigFrank105 1-27-03

Dude. Dude, I am so high. Dude, me too. Dude.

CC 266: J'aime le Croque-Monsieur! by BigFrank105 11-19-04

Ah crap, it's one of those stupid French beatniks. Bonjour, mon ami! Might I interest you in a croissant, ou some cafe? Yeah, whatever. I'm all about this patriotism thing and my new Scyess orientated religion, so just back off. Hmmm... Good news, Mr. President. Our test Frenchy "Red-21" is actually being ridiculed by Americans. Our plan to blame France for our problems is working! Excellent Mr. Science Person. The fate of your hands rests in America... I mean uh... I will leave no tile behind?

Sometimes a comic is so absolutely terrible that you just have to post it.

CC266: Lost In Translation by seattlesque 11-20-04

I'm thinking of something red, with GREEN eyes, and small... Me. Lucky guess! This time I'm thinking of something small...and RED...with green eyes...!! Me. Look, this game is boring. Let's see what those french lunar chickens are up to over there. Live, from the moon. Médaille en ce que je veux selon Scyess les jours ! Alors, si vous voulez remettre vos Scyess petits mots pour Milie ici, que je lui imprime la discute... merci !!!

"Live, from the moon."

CC 266: The Peasants Are Revolting by biped 11-20-04

I understand we're to participate in the latest comics competition, padre. Oh, my...I hope it's funny. Who's utilizing us this time? Umm...biped. Holy fucking Scyess on a puke-green trampoline! Then we're fucked. Hey! I overheard that! Well, just don't photoshop me getting buttfucked again, you turd!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC 266: Amend for Arnold by fpd 11-20-04

Of all of America's founding fathers, the most loyal by far was Benedict Arnold. Unlike such traitors as Washington, Jefferson, and Franklin, Arnold remained loyal to the English crown. These traitors stole the colonies and wrote a constitution that barred anyone not born on American soil from becoming President. But Arnold knew that America's rightful rulers were born in Europe, and it was his dream for the colonies to one day return to European rule. And now a real mensch seeks to become President, but he is barred from doing so by a relic of the founding fathers' silly europhobia. Show that you're not some yellow girly man afraid of European rule. Amend for Arnold.

I neglected to follow rule #3. I hope that doesn't disqualify me.

This strip is a political cartoon on an issue that truly concerns me, and so I will provide a link that gives some context to the issue.

http://www.arnoldexposed.com/

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Tom Clancy Goes Off the Deep End... Again. by possums 11-20-04

We're here with author Tom Clancy, to discuss his new children's book. Good to be here, Chad. Now you have never made a children's book, so this must be something of a departure for you. Yeah, but I didn't really sacrifice my writing style or anything... See the POW explode. Explode, POW, explode. Sacre bleu! Is that a Mac 9 uzi in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Both!

I'll admit "sacre bleu" was a bit of a cop out, because it means "sacred blue."

quote:

---

I neglected to follow rule #3. I hope that doesn't disqualify me.

---

If that's true, then I should get extra points for taking your name in vain.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Secure Horizon by choadwarrior 11-21-04

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley. Ya know, my doctors tell me nothing's more important than a big, brown stool. That's why I eat Quaker Oats. Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley, and like you, I'm fat and sedentary. There's a new diabetes test on the market I wanna tell ya about. I'll bet I could make more than his blood sugar rise! Pax vobiscum. Was your mother's passing a surprise? Not really, she'd been taking medical advice from The Unhealthiest Man In America for years.

I didn't mean that I didn't follow it in the comic. I meant that I am not worshipping you. I just wanted to make it clear that even though I am entering this contest, I am not making you my god.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Sleep is for those without Stripcreator contests.

CC #266: Bullfights make TV better. by SpideyChris 11-22-04

OH FUCK! OH GOD! I can't look! We're going to die! So much blood! You know, with all this red smeared everywhere, if we had Garth Brooks and a piano we could make a really good country video. A country video!? How can you joke of something so foul when the plane is ripping in half!? It's Wednesday night. And I saw an ABC logo a while ago... We're just on Lost. Any minute we'll be having revelatory and shocking flashbacks. ARRIBA! I have become the very matador I once dedicated my life to hunting! But... I was that matador!

---
Use your weapons, they are designed to inflict damage!

CC266: Welcome To The Working Week. by UnknownEric 11-22-04

Thanks for going hiking with me, Mike. Isn't the blue sky wonderful? By the way, how did you get off from work? I sent Jim's pet chicken in my place. Merde! Don't you think your boss will notice? Not really. You're doing a great job today, Mike. Keep up the good work.

P.S. Praise Scyess.

---
I has a flavor!

CC 266: Party Poopers by biped 11-22-04

Hola, dudes! Anyone up for surfing some tasty waves today? Surfing? SURFING? We live in Arizona, you fucking asshole! Oh. Well, I meant skiing. The beautiful white powdery slopes... SKIING? You see any SNOW around here? SHIT-FOR-BRAINS? Meanwhile... Oh. Well, I meant scuba-diving. All the nice colorful fishies -- SCUBA-DIVING? WE LIVE AT THE NORTH POLE, FUCKFACE!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC266: Nooooooooooo! by Twi_prime 11-23-04

In a world where eight-year-olds can find recipes for gun powder, or even white chocolate macadamia nut cookies, online... *glub glub* ...where humans begin learning before they are born...where all of the knowledge in the universe is at our fingertips...still, nothing--NOTHING--can be taken for granted! *blubglubwhimper* You misspelled "flatulence." Well bece me culo y screw me blue. I did, didn't I?

---
"Mediocre people do exceptional things all the time." --OK Go

CC266: Nooooooooooo! by Twi_prime 11-23-04

In a world where eight-year-olds can find recipes for gun powder, or even white chocolate macadamia nut cookies, online... *glub glub* ...where humans begin learning before they are born...where all of the knowledge in the universe is at our fingertips...still, nothing--NOTHING--can be taken for granted! *blubglubwhimper* You misspelled "flatulence." Well bece me culo y screw me blue. I did, didn't I?

---
"Mediocre people do exceptional things all the time." --OK Go

CC266: These Pheasants Are Revolting by quodlibet 11-24-04

Help me! Any minute now, Farmer John will sweep me up and cut out my heart in a pagan sacrifice to his chosen gods. You're white as a new-shorn lamb, and more yeller-bellied than nicotine stains! Have no fear! Mr. Stinkybutt will save your rear! Christ! These peasant hearts taste smoky. Revolting! My worshippers are civilized; they eat bread which represents My spirit. Jesus, man, dry little wafers don't hold the same 'je ne sais quoi' of raw beating hearts. Or nutritional value. Yeah, but have you considered what part of my transsubstantiated flesh they're eating?

---
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

CC:Red & Burro by Boinky22 11-24-04

This is Hogwarts,right? Yes i'm Red;head Janitor and you're here for the toilet job? Yes. You said there'll be training... Of course. Ebter the cave... And thats how I ended here... Same here. "Petco" fired me and replaced me with a donkey called Dr.Burro!

Burro is a spanish word for donkey. Ain't it amazing??

---
Dis honer! Dis honer on You! Dis honer on your cow!

My rules technically don't say that I'm not eligible...

Hard to Sit Through by Scyess 8-09-02

Oh my God! The pain! It burns! It burns like hell! It is not possible such fiery suffering can exist! Burning, crackling, sizzling, popping, mind-blazing PAIN! Incessant heat penetrates the core of my being! Red-hot, white-hot, BLUE-hot fiery suffering tortuous burning! Oh, why won't unconsciousness mercifully take me! How it burns! Man, I hate these hemorrhoid cream ads.

Scenes from a Car (with Gray Interior) by Scyess 8-22-02

You might want to slow down... there are "SLOW PEDESTRIAN" signs all over the place. ============THUMP!============ And it looks like those signs are right. I should never have agreed to ride with a guy who steers with his feet.

...too bad neither are compliant to rule #2.

---
"Old" is the old new.

The Passion of the Heist by possums 11-25-04

Well, that takes care of that. You got rid of that noisy guard? Oui. I guess that's something you have to expect when you rob the Bank of Christ. Douchebags. Bloody red douchebags.

Fetiche by possums 11-25-04

Hey, Jack Black, don't look over my shoulder like that. What's the matter, señor? You afraid I'm gonna see something I shouldn't? www.beastlyattractions.com: "Love means never having to neigh you're sorry!" Ever seen that part of Deliverance? This can't end well...

Please forgive me for sucking. I dunno how I ended up posting my entry twice. :(

Twi

---
"Mediocre people do exceptional things all the time." --OK Go

Why The Defense of Marriage Coalition Sucks Balls by possums 11-24-04

Chip Chitty, our senior newscaster for T.V. Red, is here interviewing DOMC chairman Tim Nashiff. You must really like marriage. I do. In fact... Nom de dieu! I've had four of them myself!

CC266: Coming up next on CTN... by seattlesque 11-27-04

Old Yeller, despite being the best companion a young boy could have, I can no longer neglect the fact that you have gone rabid. Growl. Foam. Snarl. Au revoir, mon frere! [BANG] With HBO and Skinimax password-locked, all that's left is the Childhood Trauma Network. Aaaaah! Aaaaah! I missed! Now he's got my neck! Oh God, the blood! My jugular! Although all things considered, I have to say this remake is hella better than the original.

Okay... I guess the sequel is never as good -- for comic contests as well.

Honorable Mentions
UnknownEric and biped

Tied for Second Place (because I'm too lazy to rank them)
possums: Tom Clancy Goes Off the Deep End... Again. and Fetiche
seattlesque: Coming up next on CTN...

And finally, because his comic was not only funny, but was the comic which seemed least like the author was struggling to force his comic to fit the rules of my contest, the

Winner

Secure Horizon by choadwarrior 11-21-04

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley. Ya know, my doctors tell me nothing's more important than a big, brown stool. That's why I eat Quaker Oats. Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley, and like you, I'm fat and sedentary. There's a new diabetes test on the market I wanna tell ya about. I'll bet I could make more than his blood sugar rise! Pax vobiscum. Was your mother's passing a surprise? Not really, she'd been taking medical advice from The Unhealthiest Man In America for years.

And now, I'm done with it all.

---
"Old" is the old new.

Thanks, Scyess. I think this is the first time I've won a CC with a new comic. I had a really good idea for a contest the other day, but I forgot it. Let me sleep on it, and I'll try to get a new one up by Sunday night.