Just humbly asking if my little time-wasters from the past few days are any good. Unlike my online buddies, you folks aren't expected to praise my jokes.

An auspicious beginning. by SpideyChris 11-20-04

In today's top story, an unoriginal hack uses a gimmick website to fashion another weakly designed comic strip. The "creator" has assured skeptics that he has highly capable assistants to provide him with creative, plot-driven material. Enough that I believe my toilet's a Transformer, thanks.

Never thought of that, did you? by SpideyChris 11-20-04

Greetings, you wonderful people! I am but a humble faery, created to bring glamour and imagination to a world otherwise desperately bereft of such! It is my task to empart joy and pleasure to the mundane races, yet the cost lies in that I may never seek the same for myself. That's real easy, since my vagina's the size of a motherfucking piece of rice.

Choke 'em if you got 'em. by SpideyChris 11-21-04

C'mon man! You slave for tens of minutes making these new and hilarious comics... You should try to make some money off it. Nah. I'm not about to ask for stuff. Because you've only made a few so far? Well, none of this is my art. And, honestly, I think everyone's too busy to take a look at these things. Doing what? This is the internet. Probably masturbating.

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Use your weapons, they are designed to inflict damage!

And the second half of my slim archives.

Hardly glamourous. by SpideyChris 11-22-04

I don't get it. What's to be embarassed about if you're just having fun making silly comics? Well, I can be silly and all, but it's kind of frightening. You know, if no one laughs it's really embarassing. Why don't you just stop being silly? I enjoy creating laughter too much. It makes me feel good to make people feel better... I guess I'm a bit of a faery myself. FUCK! No... I mean... FUCK!

The True North, Proud and Braaaaaaaaains. by SpideyChris 11-22-04

You realize that, as your immigration officer, I have to get you and your parents to stop these violent rampages? I'm sorry, Dad said we were going out for some Chinese and, well, I guess he went a bit too far with it... Since your parents are waiting on bail, I'm afraid social services is going to have to look after you. Oh, that's just fucking great... I know you're angry with your new home right now... But your parents did explain the necessity of moving out of America, right? The food shortage, yeah.

MTMS Theatre: Dating. by SpideyChris 11-22-04

This is the worst game of Pin The Tail on the Donkey I've ever played... I didn't even get a blindfold. Just this stupid mask to hide behind... Don't worry, you're right next to me! You just have to avoid all the mines. ...mines? Oh yeah. The moral of our story... Uh... There's, like, mines. And the risk of getting stuck with a jackass. Or by a jackass.

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Use your weapons, they are designed to inflict damage!

Great start. Keep up the good work.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Make more comics and less comics about making comics.

These comics did not make me want to kill.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Like, omigod, more. Yah.

CC #266: Bullfights make TV better. by SpideyChris 11-22-04

OH FUCK! OH GOD! I can't look! We're going to die! So much blood! You know, with all this red smeared everywhere, if we had Garth Brooks and a piano we could make a really good country video. A country video!? How can you joke of something so foul when the plane is ripping in half!? It's Wednesday night. And I saw an ABC logo a while ago... We're just on Lost. Any minute we'll be having revelatory and shocking flashbacks. ARRIBA! I have become the very matador I once dedicated my life to hunting! But... I was that matador!

Mmm, Marvelicious. by SpideyChris 11-23-04

Hey. I'm Wolverine. Personal saviour to every squirt out there readin' X-Men, n'the sole reason comics were invented. Hiya! I'm Jubilee. Nobody likes me. Like, rightfully so! I'm the best there is at what I do. And thanks to all these restraints I got, today that's going to finally finally omigod FINALLY gonna be me. I wish it was "chokin' to death on my own tongue," y'know... IN MY BUTT!

Basic math is easy. by SpideyChris 11-23-04

Yeah baby, I'll call you! Of course, baby! No, no, you keep the honey dust... Awwwww, yeah. Another satisfied groupie. Hero Two... You remember how I was so rich and famous, and when I hired you on? How YOU are MY sidekick, right? Oh, yeah, I get all that, Hero One. What's the dilly-o? ...you look like a dork! You don't even have a damn kung fu stance! Why do our lady fans tear off ticket stubs and line up to fuck YOU? Oh c'mon, that's easy! Two is bigg- You shut your filthy mouth.

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Use your weapons, they are designed to inflict damage!

Well and dandy. =D