...why not just put her on a treadmill instead?

Probably a good bet to take this lady in your death pool.

Terri Schiavo's class reunion. by suicide_king 3-23-05

It's been 5 days now since we've removed your wife's feeding tube. What does she weigh? She's down to 130. Dammit man! The high school reunion is next week. I want her down to 115. We'll administer some laxatives as well. Don't let me down, Doc. I need her looking svelte.