I know I'm not a terribly active member of this community. Hell, I only actually make comics once every few months. Still, in my three years here, I feel I've done some stuff worth reading (and to all the people who have praised my stuff before - thank you). So, please - read my fucking comics.

And don't forget to rate them - even if you hate them. I'm open to all types of criticism! Even the heavy kind!

And by heavy, I mean "fat". You can never go wrong with the opinion of a fat person.

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In desperate search of a funny signature...

on the activity scale of me to CHUBBY I'd say you're a 6.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

I'm lazy. Feel free to post some comics so I will bother to read them. Also, that way you can choose the best comics of your bunch and increse the chances I won't hate you.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

I enjoyed most of your comics, and took the liberty of posting some of them.

Just when you thought it was safe... by eggy_mcmuffinman 3-21-05

Hi. As you may have noticed, the last time I did comics was in December and they were pretty lousy. If I'm going to continue doing this comic on a semi-regular basis, I'd better do something original. Therefore, I'm scrapping plot development altogether and skipping straight to the punchlines. Yes, I think there's a significant difference between Angelina Jolie and a talking toilet.

Garfield by eggy_mcmuffinman 6-14-05

Dude, I just read the best Garfield comic ever. Garfield sucks. What's your point? No, really! See, Jon Arbuckle somehow gets convinced that he's a modern incarnation of Nazi scientist Joseph Mengele and - Say no more. Say, can I borrow the funnies section of your newspaper for a moment? Why...Jon? Odie...was your friend...Jon...

Just because it's true, doesn't make it any better. by eggy_mcmuffinman 11-16-03

You know, Phil Collins wasn't ALWAYS a pox on humanity... Oh, don't start that again.

Introduction of Death Squirrel. by eggy_mcmuffinman 11-23-03

And now, I'm pleased to present the newest addition to our stable of characters: Death Squirrel! Tell us a little about yourself. I'm trained in all forms of murder! That's...interesting. Guess how many heads you can fit in a duffel bag! Go on, guess!

Untitled by eggy_mcmuffinman 11-23-03

You know, I don't think this one would've made sense even if it did have a punchline.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Something a little racier. by eggy_mcmuffinman 3-31-04

So that, in a nutshell, is my extremely complicated theory on how the universe works. This is the most awkward date ever.

Ninja meets penguin! Super happy fun time! by eggy_mcmuffinman 4-04-04

I'm a ninja. I'm a penguin. Am I the only one who notices how much this comic is starting to suck? Starting?

A moment of your time. by eggy_mcmuffinman 7-06-04

Excuse me ma'am, we're conducting a survey. If you could just take a couple of moments to answer our questions... Oh come on, I didn't hit your husband THAT hard...

Talking dog. by eggy_mcmuffinman 11-10-04

So anyways, I go up to the girl, I'm like: "You wanna start something, bitch?" and then - excuse me. There you are, Fido! Oh, who's a good boy? WHO'S A GOOD BOY? You are! That's right! Yeah, sorry about that. Christ, that guy annoys me. Anyways, as I was saying... I hate talking dogs.

More talking dog stuff. by eggy_mcmuffinman 11-10-04

Listen kid, there's only one cute character around here, and that's me. Wanna know why? 'Cause I'm the fucking dog, that's why. Try any of that baby stuff and I rip your arms out. Got it? Go suck an exhaust pipe, you ill-bred, ball-biting bastard. He's good.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I like the talking dog ones and "Something a little racier."

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all the wrong things for all the right reasons

They're worth reading when you actually take the time to make them.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

"Just because it's true, doesn't make it any better" is very good, if a little inaccurate.

I think we were smoking the same shit.

Something a alittle racier has the exact same punchline as

Every wednesday I get free bread. by JESUSSANDWICH 4-27-05

This the most awkward date I have ever been on.

and we used the same character would you look at that.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE