Farmer Fred! by hughlloyd 7-11-05

Farmer Fred says hello to the piggy, but the piggy's wary! Howdy there, little piggy! I ain't gonna hurt ya! Keep your distance, Farmer Fred! Your Jedi mind tricks won't work on me! Farmer Fred tries to allay the little piggy's fears but fails! Jedi mind tricks!?!? Piggy, where do you get these crazy notions! Maybe it's that twinkle in your eye... I just don't trust it, or you! Farmer Fred admits his foul misdeeds! Awwww shucks, you got me! I AM a Jedi! And I'm a piggy! And you're going to jail for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

Untitled! by hughlloyd 7-11-05

Oh my stars, are you alright? Quite alright, my good man! This trash can has been my luxurious home for the past 20 years! People give me free food as well! They're not giving it to you, they're throwing it away! IN THE TRASH CAN! The one you call your home! Goodness! I never knew! Perhaps it's time to relocate to some higher-class surroundings! Higher-class indeed! How did you afford such a place? Not paying rent or buying food for the last 20 years helped, I'd wager!!!

The first was funny until the last panel and would have been better without the captions. The second was amusing in a way, but the punchline lacked a certain something.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I agree with your assessment of the 2nd one... I didn't really like that punchline myself but I couldn't think of anything better at the time.

Two more comics, I think the 2nd one's way better.

What a charmer! by hughlloyd 7-12-05

Why HELLO there, sweetcans! May I interest you in a cold, refreshing beer? No, I'm sorry! May I interest you in a pair of pants? No, I'm sorry! You may interest me in a thong, however! You're a regular charmer! I'll be right back! Oh my goodness... never have I seen such a wondrous creation! Hey baby, looking for a good time?

Sally Sue! by hughlloyd 7-12-05

Heya there, Sally Sue! How ya doing today? Oh, pretty good! May I interest you in sexual relations? No you certainly may NOT, you vile wench! Why not? You can't pleasure a woman with your hard metallic penis? No :(

That last one was absolutely great. Definitely one of the best uses of the red robot that I have seen, and without the "TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU!" line.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I put my favorites first, blah blah blah!

Strange Dreams! by hughlloyd 7-12-05

Oh my stars, what a strange dream that was! How deilghtful! Tourists! I'd like to give you a warm welcome... TO HELL! What the dickens!

Those crazy whores! by hughlloyd 7-12-05

Have I ever told you how much of a whore you are? Have I ever told you how much of an alcoholic you are? Probably! But have I ever told you how much of a whore you are? I'm not sure! Maybe you should refresh my memory! You're so whorey that the cops had to put that "crime scene" tape right across your dirty whore cunt! Oh Cletus, you really know how to sweettalk a girl! C'mere, let me give you herpes!

Kung-Fu Hooker: Jailbreak! by hughlloyd 7-12-05

Kung-Fu Hooker in... JAILBREAK! Kung-Fu Hooker in... JAILBREAK! Kung-Fu Hooker! I'm saved! Don't worry Jesus, I'll get you out of there in no time! Kung-Fu Hooker in... JAILBREAK! Damn! There appears to be metal bars in the way!

Silly Tom Brokaw! by hughlloyd 7-12-05

Hello Mr. Monk, would you like to comment on the latest Buddhist uprising? No, I wouldn't! However, I would like you to leave this sacred temple immediately! Don't you know who I am? I'm Tom Brokaw! From NBC Nightly News! I'm afraid you're mistaken... what you are is dead! Son of a BITCH!

i like sally sue! and those crazy whores!. i like a lot of your dialog like the cops in the first cartoon and 'what the dickens.' i would have liked the last comic if at the end the ninja would have said something like, 'i've been waiting a long time to kick your ass, brokaw.' you use exclamations in your titles

that last comment was more information based

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what if nigger meant kite

I like that punchline better too, to be honest! Someday I'll have to donate and make my comics slightly less sucky.

Here's a series of Kung-Fu Hooker strips 'cause my friend says he loves her.

Kung-Fu Hooker: Shipwrecked! (Part 1) by hughlloyd 7-12-05

Kung-Fu Hooker in... SHIPWRECKED! My word, I do believe that this ship is rigged with explosives! Whatever shall we do, Kung-Fu Hooker? Defuse the explosives, of course! Stay here! To be continued! Goodness, what a large rocket! I don't know whether to defuse it or mount it!

Kung-Fu Hooker: Shipwrecked! (Part 2) by hughlloyd 7-12-05

Kung-Fu Hooker in... SHIPWRECKED! Oh no! My forceful gyrations have triggered the detonation device! I must escape before it's too late! To be continued! That rocket was the best lover I ever had...

Kung-Fu Hooker: Shipwrecked! (Part 3) by hughlloyd 7-12-05

Kung-Fu Hooker in... SHIPWRECKED! It's a good thing I'm a Special Olympics swimmer! To be continued! Hello there, Mr. Pirate! I appear to be shipwrecked! Could you please help me get back to my home? Yargh, but first ye'll have to help me...

Kung-Fu Hooker: Shipwrecked! (Part 4) by hughlloyd 7-12-05

Kung-Fu Hooker in... SHIPWRECKED! So what is it that you need, Mr. Pirate? Ye must destroy tha large tentacle monster that lives under tha sea! Ye'll know it when ye see it, fer obvious reasons! To be continued! My liege! The pirates have recruited Kung-Fu Hooker to do their bidding! No matter! I will devour her like the rest!

Kung-Fu Hooker: Shipwrecked! (Part 5) by hughlloyd 7-12-05

Kung-Fu Hooker in... SHIPWRECKED! Take me to this "tentacle monster" or face the consequences! You insufferable wretch! He is more powerful than you could ever know or understand! To be continued! Excuse me? I know kung fu... and I'm a hooker! Eat gonorrhea, sharkface! OH MY GOD IT BURNS!!!

[Click to view comic: 'Kung-Fu Hooker: Shipwrecked! (Part 6)']
[Click to view comic: 'Kung-Fu Hooker: Shipwrecked! (Part 7)']
[Click to view comic: 'Kung-Fu Hooker: Shipwrecked! (Part 8)']

The first one the second one was funny the third one the punchline was the second panel was the first funny the punchline was the third one was funny.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Wha?

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If you do just one thing in life, then you need to get out more and expand your horizons. Honestly, that one thing can't possibly take-up all your time.