Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

Alas another night of getting drunk alone at my fat girlfriends house. I fear tonight I will die of alcohol poisoning. My greatest regret is never knowing my parents. Holy fucking shit what the fuck is that! I am the ghost of Fred Willard. Prepare to see what life is like without colonoscopies.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

Wait youre not Lord Chumky, my bad sorry. That was a very random occurence. Hey, am I late? Wait, who the fuck are you? Oh I sorry, I am phantom Brad Pitt. I help people with their problems just like the real Brad Pitt.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

Why didn't I get the real Brad Pitt? Because he is busy making Troy 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

So what exacltly do you do? Basically I just stand around looking cool.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

What abou- Shhhhhhhh! You're messing up my concentration.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

You done? Just a bit longer.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

Now I am done. So why are you here? To show you what it was like without toilet paper. I dont think thats right. WELL SHITHEAD I dont care what you think now do I?

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

Nope, I think you have got the wrong bathroom as well. WELL YOU CAN JUS- wait, Is your name Jennifer Love Hewwit? Do I look like I am Jennifer Love Hewwit? You could just be a bit big for your age.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

Yeah, no. Ok sorry. bye. Things just keep getting weirder and weirder around here tonight. I am sorry I couldnt find the directions and my electric car died on me.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

Let me take a guess. Alrighty. You're the best friend to Kirk Douglas who befriended a midget who told him to help all the people in the world so he can gain height. Something like that? All wrong. Then what?! I am Ed Begley Jr's best friend.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

Is it time to begin? Hold on let me get into character

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

Ahem! YOU PARENTS IS STILL ALIVE, YOU GO FIND THEM MAKE BOOM-BOOM! Is that all? Yeah basically.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

Wait my parents are ALIVE! Yeah, thats what I just said. Oh. Wanna go get some chinese food or something? Yeah sure, why not.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

HEY WAITER COULD GET SOME MORE GENERAL TSAO OVER HERE? THANKS! I am totally not tipping this guy. So whats Ed like? He's made of pure plutonium. How does he not melt his family? They're made of lead.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

That sounds like bullshit. Nuh-uh! Uh-huh! Nuh-uh! Uh-huh! Nuh-uh!

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

Yeah, were not gonna do this. Ok, but I get some of your sweet and sour pork. Deal. Agreed. What happened to my parents? Why did they leave me? Oh yeah, they went to Alaska on a special mission for Ed and never came back.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-24-05

What kind of mission were they involved in? I can't say, its absolutely classified. But I can say it had nothing to do with Mr T. We- Not a damn thing. Wha- Not a thingy doodle doo.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-25-05

So what should I go to Alaska? Sure why not. Oh where oh where can my parents be! Santa this is Alaska not the north pole. Fuck off. Ho ho hrrrrr.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-25-05

Hey I think that's my parents over there.

Slime Q Slimeball and the mystery of the missing parents. by JESUSSANDWICH 10-25-05

So it turns out my parents had frozen to death years earlier and I just got a frost-bitten ass for nothing. Wow How anticlimatic.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

This series amused me.

You may live.

...damn it. I'm not going to get to execute anyone.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

THEY MADE MY ASS EXPLODE WITH RAGE AND JOY.

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obscenity filter is off

I try to have that affect on people.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

this one was great

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what if nigger meant kite

I loves me a Jesus sandwich. Yum yum.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.