Paths Of Glory by biped 11-18-05

But...I'm just a slice of bacon. I don't belong out here on the battlefield, fighting in a war... We're all counting on you, bacon. You must get through to HQ and tell them we're pinned down. I'm so scared. I'd rather get eaten with eggs than have to do this awful war stuff... I'll lay some eggs for you, bacon! Mmm-BOY! Them shore was some good bacon and eggs ! Yep! 'Cept for the teeth and the eyeballs. And them spindly arms.

Paths Of Glory 2 by biped 11-18-05

You did WHAT? You sent a slice of BACON to get help? WHY, YOU IDIOTIC, INCOMPETENT SON-OF-A -- HE'S ALL WE HAD LEFT, SIR! (SOB!) PLEASE DON'T YELL AT ME! HE WAS...MY BREAKFAST! HERE WE COME, BOYS! HQ HEARD YOU NEEDED HELP ! BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY MEN TO SPARE! SO THEY SELFLESSLY SENT US...THEIR BREAKFAST! COME ON, BACON! CHAAAAARGE! GRRRRRRRRRR!!! DEATH TO THE ENEMY!!! DEATH!!! DEATH!!! DEEEAAATH!!! OH MY GWAD!!! YAAAAAAAA!!!

Paths Of Glory 3 by biped 11-18-05

We...we WIPED OUT the enemy! Will we get a...a COMMENDATION for this, sir? No, we are going to eat all of you. After all, you're only bacon, and we are very hungry. ...but somehow I escaped. And there they are...the names of my fallen comrades. (sniff!) I'm BORED, Grampaw! I don't give a HOT SHIT about all this fucken WAR JAZZ! No one appreciates our sacrifice. Life has no meaning. I...I'm ready to die. I'll lay the eggs, old friend...I'll lay the eggs.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

They have natives working in the chow halls here, the majority of them Muslim. The first week I was here, the guy ahead of me in line asked for bacon, and the guy behind the counter snarled at him, snatched his plate and, using tongs, slammed a couple of strips of bacon on the plate before shoving it back.

I took the hint and just asked for some pancakes.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

He shouldn't be working there if he's so adverse to serving bacon. I certainly wouldn't want him to keep me from enjoying my delicious bacon.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

After that day I never saw him up front again, so it didn't bother me. Now they've got Asians and Hindus serving all the pork products.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

"Can I have some steak?"
"You... you are wanting STEAK!!! By Vishnu, I will kill you!"

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

"Can I have some steak?"
"You... you are wanting STEAK!!! By Vishnu, I will kill you!"

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Strangely enough, none of them have any problems serving beef. Maybe because it's really carefully disguised camel meat like we've suspected all along.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

You should eat kangaroo. Kangaroo is yummy.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

yes it is . it is excellent!

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Making cheesy jokes in 5..4..3..2..poop.