True Garfield #1 by bill_gates 12-01-05

GARFIELD HAPPY CHRISTMAS I GOT YOU A PRESENT comment BUT YOU DIDN'T GET ME A PRESENT DID YOU GARFIELD I'm a fuckin cat I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION need food

True Garfield #2 by bill_gates 12-01-05

GARFIELD TODAY IS THE 4TH OF JULY THAT'S WHY THIS FLAG IS HERE I'm a cat. I don't care. YOU'RE NOT BEING VERY PATRIOTIC GARFIELD I saw you humping a melon this morning.

True Garfield #3 by bill_gates 12-01-05

GARFIELD I WANTED TO SHOW YOU MY NEW SOCKS! I HAVE 7 PAIRS, ONE FOR EACH DAY OF THE WEEK! AND ON EACH SOCK, IT SAYS A DAY! I don't care. SO YOU KNOW WHICH DAY TO WEAR THAT SOCK ON! AND GUESS WHAT GARFIELD? Drum roll. I'M WEARING TUESDAY'S PAIR AND TODAY IS WEDNESDAY GARFIELD! I'M A REBEL, I'M SURE TO GET SOME FEMALE COMPANY NOW GARFIELD! I'm a cat. I can't understand what you're saying.

True Garfield #4 by bill_gates 12-01-05

GARFIELD WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY? Sleep, eat, scratch things. I'm a cat. LET'S GO TO DISNEYLAND! I'm a cat. GARFIELD DID YOU CRAP IN MY SHOE? Get friends.

True Garfield #5 by bill_gates 12-01-05

GARFIELD DOES THIS TOP LOOK GOOD ON ME? I'm a cat. Why did you take me to the shops? I'M SURE TO GET A LADYFRIEND IF I WEAR THIS TO A DISCO You know why I can't give fashion advice? Because I'm a cat. GARFIELD YOU'RE NOT VERY RESPONSIVE TODAY I'm a cat.

I read them and now I am experienced.

I don't think this is what Hendrix had in mind.

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"Eat a fucking cock." - attitudechicka

I kind of liked them. Sort of.

I don't see how they'd make sense to anyeone who doesn't have a cat.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I like the satire.

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I dumb :D

But i hate Windows. What a conumdrum.

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I dumb :D

Good idea. Good execution. But the jokes weren't funny. I'd like to see what you can do in a non-satire format.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Hmm, I actually enjoyed those.

May I hump you?

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Don't like it? Eat me.

Four more, enjoy.

Harry Potter discussions by bill_gates 12-01-05

Dude, I'm halfway through the newest Harry Potter book. I still don't know the ending but I've heard someone dies. Harry dies. pwn3d

Dude dinosaurs by bill_gates 12-02-05

Want some coffee dude? Yea dude. Dude. Dude. Maybe this is why we're going extinct, dude. Yea dude.

Adventures of Bob. Bob Dole. by bill_gates 12-01-05

In the park BOB DOLE Eat me. At the hospital BOB DOLE You have cancer. At the "reuniting identical twins who were seperated at birth" centre BOB DOLE ROB BOLE

Peter Frampton #2 by bill_gates 12-01-05

Peter Frampton in Concert 'cos ooh baby i love your way... I wanna be with you night and day... That.. that's it. That's all I have. Goodbye.

I enjoyed the cat ones, and the new ones i can't be bothered to read, but anyways good job.

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The dictator of love and his weapon of mass destruction