Per usual, this series started out with a random layout. It just kind of made sense that Melty the Snowman would not be able to do normal, everday stuff since he has no arms!

Contributions and feedback are most welcome!

RCL no. 163 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 8-15-05

"Dear Melty... I have written you several times, asking for your advice regarding my love life (or lack there of)..." "...and you have yet to respond back. I don't get it! YOU FUCKING SUCK!!" I don't have arms!

RCL no. 301 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 8-26-05

I've had enough of your shit, Smelty! Put 'em up! I have no arms...

RCL no. 322 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 8-29-05

[ring, ring] [ring, ring] "ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE, MELTY!" I have no arms! [ring, ring]

RCL no. 344 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-02-05

I was... BORN IN THE U.S.A.! BORN IN THE U.S.A.! BORN IN THE- C'mon, Melty... Put your hands together! I have no arms!

RCL no. 353 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-07-05

Wow! It's such a beautiful day here in So. Cal! Why don't you raise your drink with me in a toast of gratitude, Melty... Melty..? I HAVE NO ARMS, GODDAMMIT!!

RCL no. 378 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-12-05

Hey, Melty! The flood waters are rising... No shit, Sherlock! Looks like we're gonna have to swim for it! You can count me out... Why? I have no arms!

RCL no. 412 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-19-05

Wow! Parson Brown gave a cool sermon on Jesus today! I didn't know that when Christ was crucified, the Romans drove nails through his hands and feet to hold him on the cross... Can you imagine the pain, Melty? Nope! Why not? I have no arms! Nor legs, for that matter!

RCL no. 451 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-24-05

Oh, shit! The flood waters are rising again! I should pull myself up onto this bench for safety... Shit! I have no arms! Okay, I'll hop up onto this bench... SHIT!!

RCL no. 470 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-27-05

That's it! I am not going to be jerkin' my yerkin' for the next 40 days starting NOW! Hmmm.... Since I have no arms, I've NEVER jerked my yerk! Boy! I sure would like to know what that feels like... Say, Witchy-poo! How would you like to- Don't even THINK about it, Smelty!

RCL no. 484 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 10-04-05

So, dude... You say you wanna try out for the band? Do you play the guitar? Nope. I have no arms! How 'bout the drums? Again, I have no arms! Then, what CAN you play? The glockenspiel with my nose!

RCL no. 654 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 11-09-05

Hey, Melty... How come you only buy sleeveles shirts? Because I have no arms, dipshit! Oh...

RCL no. 740 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-15-05

Remember, Melty... When you point the finger at someone... ...there's THREE fingers pointing back at you! I have no hands!

RCL no. 747 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-18-05

Wow! What a beautiful sunset! Wow! What lovely sunset! I'd love to hold her hand... I wish he'd hold my hand... ...but, I have no arms! This is our third date, and he STILL won't hold my hand. And, to think I was going to take him back to my place for a blowjob!Well... FUCK HIM!!

RCL no. 751 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-19-05

Hey, Smelty! Help me [oomph!] clear this snow... I have no arms! Besides... I LIKE the snow! Fag!

RCL no. 754 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-21-05

This is the new Bird Flu vaccination, Melty... Coo'! So... Which arm would you like-   !   Oh, yeah! You have no arms! Okay. Bend over and I'll do you in the ass... *sigh*

RCL no. 755 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-21-05

Hey, Melty... Can you hold this for me while I tie my shoe? Are you blind? I have no arms! HOW DA FUCK CAN I HOLD YOUR GODDAMN BROOM IF I HAVE NO ARMS, YOU DUMB WITCH? How 'bout I shove it up your ass? Uh...

RCL no. 822 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-20-06

You're a member of "Fight Club"? Yes. You have no arms! No shit, Sherlock! Uh... How are you going to fight? What's your strategy? First, I'll poke him in the eyes with my nose. Then, I'll bitch-slap him with my scarf!

RCL no. 859 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-31-06

Hey, Smelty... Yo! Wazzup? We need you for tonight's hockey match... Well, I'd like to help you, but I can't hold a hockey stick 'cuz I HAVE NO ARMS! We don't need another player. Fred forgot to bring the pucks, and I was hoping you'd lend us one of your eyeballs... *sigh*

RCL no. 855 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-30-06

I use my arms to push the wheels on my wheelchair... So? I don't HAVE arms! ...because my legs don't work! Who gives a rat's ass! I don't even have LEGS! Why don't you go FUCK yourself! Nope ! Ain't got THAT, either!

RCL no. 722 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-07-05

Good fucking job, Smelty! You were supposed to give me the signal if the police showed up... Why didn't you whistle like I asked you to? I have no lips!

RCL no. 383 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-13-05

Andale, Senor Melty... Levanta su manos! No tengo brazos!

RCL no. 401 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-16-05

"What do you think, Melty?" It's nice, alright... But, I'm not sure I can afford it... "We could give you a 'hand' with financing. Ha, ha..." What if I bought two arms? Would you give me a "ten-finger discount"?

RCL no. 408 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-16-05

See... It's really easy! Why don't you give it a try, Melty? I don't think so... C'mon! You can use your arms for balance...   !   What?

RCL no. 655 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 11-09-05

Where you going, Brandy? I'm leaving you, Melty! Why? Because you never hold me like you used to! But, you know I lost my arms in the war, baby... That's no excuse!

RCL no. 773 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 12-28-05

Hey, Melty... Hey, Gabe... What's going on? Nothing. I've just been sitting here on my ass all day! Y'know, I didn't realize how numb one's rear end can get by being on it for so long! Tell me about it!

RCL no. 928 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-10-06

Next on TNT... Yet, ANOTHER episode of "Law & Order"... Oh, Jesus... I just HATE this lame-ass program! If, I had arms, I'd toss a fucking brick through the goddamn TV screen!

This is like the series by boinky33 "The punchline is always CUNTS!" except with a less funny punchline. I like some of your other stuff though.

---
possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

Hmmm... I think I can use that. How does, "I have no cunt" work for you? lol

RCL no. 944 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-16-06

Y'know, Smelty... The whole spirit of "Habitat For Humanity" is that you help build your own home... ...NOT just sitting there and watching! I am NOT just sitting here! I'm supervising those three wetbacks I picked up in the parking lot of Home Depot, dipshit... Well... At least, he didn't give his normal, lame-ass, "I have no arms" excuse!

RCL no. 975 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 4-04-06

...so, then I told the guy that I couldn't be of much help since I only have one arm, and it's gimpy! Y'know... I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how handicapped I am with just one, gimpy arm! Do you ever feel sorry for me because I only have this one arm, and it's gimpy? Do your eyes work?

RCL no. 987 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 4-06-06

Oh, man... That was one, healthy SHIT! Now, if I could only wipe my ass...