maybe people laughing at me will have a cathartic effect?
probably not...
anyway, i wrote follow ups, and they're funny too, but you'll just have to click the forward button...
enjoy

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"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel..." - homer

Your title presupposes that have HAD sex in your natural life.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

i did...
i think...
in the before time, the long long ago
there was one of those things with no penis...
a girl!
who didn't seem to mind letting me touch her.

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"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel..." - homer

wirthling?

Oh.

Kaufman's cat?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.