So I won the last CC with the words "Sexfuck" and "ding-dong" so naturally the subject for the next competition will be about the Son of God.

Jesus woke up late for being born to the Virgin Mary... about 2,000 years late.

Comics should be about anything from the time Jesus woke up, to his birth, to his times on earth in the present day.

I didn't really want to give up those ideas but I wanna make sure that my dumbass doesn't put it some way that no one understands.

The Rules...

1. Photoshopped entries are fine.
2. Series are fine
3. No limit on number of entries.
4. New comics only.

Have at it and take all the religious offense that everyone dishes out.

-- red

I don't understand.

RCL no. 1233 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 8-28-06

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Hey, Jesus... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ It's 2006... WAKE THE FUCK UP!! ZZZZZZ-[snort ] Whaaaaaaaaat? 2006? Boy, did I oversleep! Yeah, I know...This comic SUCKS like a Hoover vacuum on steroids!

Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ... by HCRoyall 8-28-06

I'm Jesus, Son of God. Belive in me and ye shall be saved. Go back to the crazy house you freak. I've got teenagers to seduce. I'm Jesus, Son of God. I've come to save you from your sins. More hallushinashuns? This one has lesh tentaclesh... Look, I'm really the son of God. Yeah, and I'm not just some guy pretending to be a doctor and scamming people out of their money.

Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ... by HCRoyall 8-28-06

Eternal Salvation? No more suffering? Am I getting through to you? Que? Save your soul for a dollar? Beat it, you bum. Hey, Dad? About that saving the world thing... This is why I wanted a girl...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Church of Jesus Christ, Wino by AngryAmerican 8-28-06

I'll take a dirty vodka martini, extra filthy. Sorry pal, last call was 10 minutes ago. But i'm the Son of God, help a brother out here... Listen man, if i had a dime for every guy that came in here nailed to a cross claiming to be the Son of God, i woulda paid off my camry by now. But.......i died for your sins..... I'm a buddhist. Security!

Church of Jesus Christ, Wino by AngryAmerican 8-28-06

Wait, i don't want any trouble... You have no idea how long i've been waiting for this day. You wouldn't hit a guy nailed to a cross, would you? Fuck yeah i would. Repeatedly. Sigh. Well at least you don't have a lance... No, but if you've got a minute to spare, i can whip you up a crown of urinal cakes.

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Kill Whitey.

CC 331: If Jesus first appeared today

Sorry, I don't have any change.

by NeoVid, 8-28-06

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

RCL no. 1236 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 8-28-06

Hey, dad... Hey, son... How was your first visit to Earth in the last 2000 years? Okay, I guess. But, I do have one question... Lay it on me... How come every other guy named Jesus is a goddamn MEXICAN?? No se!

The Lord Will Come Upon You by choadwarrior 8-28-06

You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High This is going to be hard to explain. Really...an angel told me. Well, whether I believe you or not, it's a baby and there's only one thing to do... Bad news...the fetus resurected and told me he didn't believe in abortion.

RCL no. 1237 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 8-29-06

One morning at Starbux... Damn... I only have fifteen minutes to make it crosstown for my proctology appointment. I'd like a double-tall latte, with a shot of espresso- no wait! C'mon! C'mon! Make that a TRIPLE-tall latte with TWO shots of espresso, and low fat bluberry coffee cake... No WAIT! Jesus H.-fucking-CHRIST, I'm gonna be late! I wish this dipshit would hurry the fuck up! I heard that, asshole!

The fun part about this setup is: Jesus comes with his own stir stick.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

CC 331: right hand of god, left hand of urine stain by mandingo 8-29-06

♫ what if god was one of us, just a stranger on a bus, just tryin to make his way home♫ ♫ Hallelujah! ♫ you're right, Pete. clearing out that whole fuckin bus

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what if nigger meant kite

cc jesus by sebra139 8-31-06

damit jesus quit following me i said dont follow me fucker

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whats up i am sebra 139

Dsiqualifyed.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Dnoe.

Read the last panel out loud or you won't get it.

CC 331: Jesus slowed by NeoVid 9-01-06

Follow me in all things, and you will be saved. What cool things do we get to do when we follow you? Mainly get to heaven. Boring. I'd rather follow the other guy giving a speech right now... So if you want to know more about how to maim and destroy those who oppose you, look at my site at www.massacre.com///////!

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

RCL no. 1241 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-01-06

Jesus Christ... What's this stain here, Butch? Uh... Uhh... It looks like you've had pets, which was verboten according to your lease... But... ...Property Manager! I guess you can kiss your cleaning deposit the fuck GOODBYE! RAT FARTS!

07:09:17 GMT 29 Aug 2006: Jesus Rolls Over by boloboffin 8-29-06

***RINGGGGG*** Ugh. All right, all right, I'm getting up. Wow, I musta hit Snooze like a billion and a half times... No, only a hundred seventeen million, three hundred five thousand, six hundred times. Okay....

Short Notice by boloboffin 9-02-06

...carry the 2... divide by six... Holy shit! I've been snoozing for over 2000 years?? Yeah. I kept wanting to wake you up, but everybody said God knows best... So, um, that Hebrew chick is out of the picture, right? Yeah! HA! She's been gone quite a while, but don't worry, we've managed to find an substitute on short notice... Mother of God! Oh, you can call me Mary.

Logistics by boloboffin 9-02-06

So are you ready to get inside me?

Explanations by boloboffin 9-02-06

GET REAL! Jeez, look at his qualifications! From a lower-class family, despised, afflicted, yada yada, and a virgin! Well, technically, not a virgin, but he can't get pregnant! We're taking a ride on the Miracle A-Train, baby!

Rough Beast by boloboffin 9-02-06

Okay... Spankling. Just remember: in nine months, you have to be in Bethlehem. Let's try to stick with the script as much as possible. Script? Do I have lines? Not really. Santa's got some draft copies of the Gospels that have to be updated. Check those out. Okay, but the last book I read was Sling Slave Quarterly, and that was just for pointers... OoooooOOOO! Pennsylvania, Here I Come!

[Click to view comic: 'While We're There']

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

RCL no. 1244 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-04-06

Dude... What's the dealio with cats? Autism. Oh, snap! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE SCRATCH MY NUTS??

RCL no. 1245 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-04-06

"This is Jesus, and I'm not home right now..." "I'm out making preparations for the Rapture. So, at the beep, leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as possible." "And, for all you dumbasses who refuse to believe John 3:16, have fun burning in Hell for all eternity! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA [*burp*]"

Entries will be accepted until midnight Tuesday. Judging will follow soon after…

If you’re not trying for the win… go for another award… Reference past CC’s I’ve hosted.

CC331: Reaching For The Urban Demographic by UnknownEric 9-05-06

And I couldn't believe the look he gave me. Really! How rude. What's up, my nigga? What did you just say? Bitches ain't shit? As I was saying...

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I has a flavor!

MyJesus by mumphish 9-05-06

Hey kid. I wanna save your soul. Dude, did you just show up in my bathroom? That's fucked up. Don't you know who I am? I'm back. From beyond. I want to save your soul. Dude, I gotta take a dookey. Get out of here. What would be a better way to reach out to America's youth? Get a Myspace page and send out like a 100 bulletins a day. My girlfriend does that and she gets like 400 pic comments an hour. You should try that.

MyJesus 2 by mumphish 9-05-06

Excuse me...Young metrosexual stranger. I have returned to save your soul. Also, do you know how I can set up a myspace page? First of all, I'm a metrosexual. I love pussy. Second of all, there is a cyber cafe down the street, you can pay for internet time there and make yourself a myspace. What's the internet? You don't know what the internet is, but you know what a metrosexual is? I've spoken with many metrosexuals in the kingdom of heaven, however, I've never spoken with an internet. How lenient is this "cyber cafe's" no shirt no shoes policy? I think they might make an exception for the son of god.

MyJesus 3 by mumphish 9-05-06

Hi, son of god here. I was wondering if you could set up a MySpace site for me, so I can save humanities souls. This is a bar. Try next door. Hi, son of god here. I was wondering if you could set up a MySpace site for me, so I can save humanities souls. No problem honky. I can set it up real good, with lots of glitter letters and lots of pics of you at angles that make you seem alot more attractive than you really are. Thank you very much. I will save a very special place in heaven for you. I'm an atheist.

MyJesus 4 by mumphish 9-05-06

It's been seven months, but here I am, I've gotten a job, made some friends and I check my myspace regulalrly. I'm up to 245,431 friends. For seven months I've been posting 100 bulletins an hour. Every day. Even my birthday. I couldn't even get the screen name 'Jesus.' It was taken. I'm going by the screen name 'Son Of God 147.'

Best Use of Python

Goes to: RandomComicLayoutGuy

For the Comic: RCL no. 1245 #365813

The Truth Award: This would really happen

Goes to: sebra139

For the Comic: cc jesus #365337

Most Political

Goes to: HCRoyall

For the Comic: Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ... #364858

Funniest Comic to Nerds

Goes to: mumphish

For the Comic: MyJesus 4 #365838

Most Sexual

Goes to: boloboffin

For the Comic: Logistics #365584

Most Ironic

Goes to: mumphish

For the Comic: MyJesus 3 #365837

Best Pun

Goes to: NeoVid

For the Comic: CC 331: If Jesus first appeared today #364938

Funniest Politically Incorrect

Goes to: AngryAmerican

For the Comic: Church of Jesus Christ, Wino #364922

Most Obscure

Goes to: RandomComicLayoutGuy

For the Comic: RCL no. 1244 #365809

The Tobor Award
For funniest Inside Joke

Goes to: boloboffin

For the Comic: Logistics #365584 Get it... inside? haw >=\

Best Title

Goes to: choadwarrior

For the Comic: The Lord Will Come Upon You #364951

Most Similar

Goes to: AngryAmerican and mumphish

For the Comic: CC 331: Church of Jesus Christ, Wino #364913[b]

AND

MyJesus 3[/b]#365837

The AUUHHH award Of best use of being corny

Goes to: boloboffin

For the Comic: Short Notice #365582

Best use of Cliches award

Goes to: RandomComicLayoutGuy

For the Comic: RCL no. 1236 #364944

Less is good! For funny short panels

Goes to: NeoVid

For the Comic: CC 331: If Jesus first appeared today #364938

More is good! For funny long panels

Goes to: AngryAmerican

For the Comic: Church of Jesus Christ, Wino #364913

Creativity Award

Goes to: The_young_scot

For the Comic:

Bronze Award of Neatoness

Goes to: RandomComicLayoutGuy

For the Comic:

RCL no. 1241 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-01-06

Jesus Christ... What's this stain here, Butch? Uh... Uhh... It looks like you've had pets, which was verboten according to your lease... But... ...Property Manager! I guess you can kiss your cleaning deposit the fuck GOODBYE! RAT FARTS!

How can you go wrong with "RAT FARTS!"?

Silver Award of Excellence

Goes to: RandomComicLayoutGuy

For the Comic:

RCL no. 1245 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 9-04-06

"This is Jesus, and I'm not home right now..." "I'm out making preparations for the Rapture. So, at the beep, leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as possible." "And, for all you dumbasses who refuse to believe John 3:16, have fun burning in Hell for all eternity! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA [*burp*]"

Zinger Award (And the next host of Stripcreator Comic Competition 332)

Goes to: choadwarrior

For the Comic:

The Lord Will Come Upon You by choadwarrior 8-28-06

You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High This is going to be hard to explain. Really...an angel told me. Well, whether I believe you or not, it's a baby and there's only one thing to do... Bad news...the fetus resurected and told me he didn't believe in abortion.

I’d like to start off by saying that 22 entries is abysmal…(not the 26 comics… but the number 22)

I guess I should wait until the holidays to host a CC. It seems that that’s the time where people post the most… unless you all are thinking the same thing and waiting till Holiday timeframe to win one so the one you host will be successful…

Well let me tell you something. DON’T! I sucks a long hard penis to judge a CC that has a shit-ton of entries (at least if you deal out maasive amounts of awards like I do)

That being said, I leave you with a word of congratulatory praise to choadwarrior, the winner of CC 331!!!

That word is, “Non-Commiserations” !!!

-- red