Here are some of my recent odds and ends that have not been posted anywhere else. These comics are my offering, not of money, but of love.

The Belated Warning by biped 10-05-06

(FWAP-FWAP-FWAP-FWAP) NNNGGGHHHhhhhh... "I just want to apologize if I've offended you in any way with the nude pics I sent you." Wait a minute--that was YOU?

Baby Farm Wonders by biped 10-01-06

Mommy!!! Moo-goat!!! Moo-goat, Mommy!!! Baaaa--huh? Hey kid, goats don't moo. Cows moo. Goats say "baaaaa." Okay? Mommy!!! Mommy!!! Goat was talking, Mommy!!! Goat was talking!!! Mo-- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT NOW?!? GOATS DON'T TALK, YOU FRUITY LITTLE BASTARD!!! NOW SHUT...THE FUCK...UP!!! "Oh, de Camptown ladies sing dis song, doo-daaa, doo-daaaaa..." And then I do a little "soft shoe", heheh, like so... MOMMY!!! WAAAAAA-HA-HAAAAAAAA!!!

Sally Asks Mommy A Question by biped 9-29-06

Mommy, will I ever get to have a big, throbbing "boner"? Ha, ha--no dear, girls can't get "boners", because girls don't have dicks... ...and, uh... WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Anger Management by biped 9-29-06

What do you do when someone makes you really, really mad, Senor Alvarez? I throw my arms in the air--like this--and scream, "I KEEL YOU!!!" What do you do, leetle girl? I turn into Oprah Winfrey! YAAAAAAAAA!!!

"The Ballad Of Fatty Joe" starring Goo-Goo and Ying-Yang by biped 9-22-06

"Fatty Joe...he's a big, fat, fat-ass, don'tcha know... watch out, I think his ass is a-gonna blooowww...oh, Fatty--" SHUT UP!!! What the-- "Fatty Joe...he's a total fag from head to toe...just drop your drawers and he's ready to goooo...oh, Fatty Jooooe!" Didja hear? Fatty Joe just hung himself. COOL!!!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Soylent Shit by biped 9-22-06

SOYLENT SHIT IS--LASAGNE!!! IT'S MADE OUT OF LASAGNE!!! NO!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! Well, Abner--did you hear about Soylent Shit? No, I've had my head up my ass all day. What's for dinner? Soylent Shit.

Sky Horse by biped 9-22-06

Uh...I don't really think horses enjoy hot-air ballooning. Aw, sure they do. They put up a fight at first, but once they get airborne, they settle into it. He doesn't seem to be "settling into it." Well, it's for me to enjoy, really--not the horse. I just think it's funny. So...how in the world do you get him down from there? Shoot him down. How the hell else?

Moby Dork by biped 9-20-06

I SAID CALL ME "ISHMAEL"--FUCKER!!! OKAY!!! OKAY!!! ISHMAEL!!! ISHMAEL!!! That's BETTER! Now, I've got a ship to catch! I hope a fucking WHALE eats you, you DICK!

True Sex Story by biped 9-20-06

Let's have sex. Not now. Let's have sex. Not now. Aren't you going to say "Let's have sex"? No, I just jerked off into one of your socks.

SLING BLADE TOO:THE BEGINNING starring Dakota Fanning by biped 9-17-06

Mmhhh...I reckon I just kilt my mother and Jessie Dixon with a Kaiser blade. Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a Kaiser blade, mmm-hmm. I'm GAY! LA-LA-LA! Let's go cavorting, sweetie-pie! LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!!! LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!!! I just been out a-cavortin' with a gay feller, mmm-hmm. I reckon I better confess on it afore the Good Lord gits mad 'n' sends me ta Hades, mmm-hmm. Guess what? I'm THE WOLF MAN!!!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Mexbo by biped 9-18-06

Hey, I just thought up a funny new name for a Mexican..."Mexbo." Ha, ha! Hey, let's see if it offends them. YO! WHAT UP, MEXBO? Uh...I beg your pardon? Ha, ha! Sucka started beggin' me or some shit. Gordon, I was only disguised as Leroy the pimp. I'm really your wife, Yolanda.

The Goo-Goo People by biped 9-13-06

WE ARE THE GOO-GOO PEOPLE. THANK YOU, MOMMY. MOMMY SAYS WE ARE THE GOO-GOO PEOPLE. ISN'T THAT NICE, DADDY. NO. THE GOO-GOO PEOPLE ARE VERY, VERY HORRIBLE AND BAD. THE GOO-GOO PEOPLE ARE THE CHOSEN ONES. YOU ARE A VERY BAD DADDY. YOU ARE A VERY BAD MOMMY AND MUST BE DESTROYED BY FIRE.

Sally Tattles On Billy by biped 9-01-06

Mommy, Billy just farted, and-- Sally! You're too young to use that word. You should say "pooted" instead. Okay...Billy just "pooted." That's better. Told on me, huh? You bet your cocksuckin' fag ass, shit-for-brains.

Blind Date Bob by biped 8-31-06

...and that's when I realized they were cum stains. Oh, VERY elegant dinner conversation. Well, cum stains can be hard to wash out...and it was my mom's best Sunday dress... Yes, fine--wonderful blind date--thanks a lot. Well, how'd it go? It was okay...but I didn't get that blow job I was hoping for.

The Return Of Bobby The Aryan Airhead by biped 8-11-06

Hey, everybody! Let's LOVE HITLER! BOBBY!!! Honestly! I turn my back on you for ONE MINUTE and look what happens! Aw, GEEZ! Hi! I'm calling people at random just to say: LET'S LOVE HITLER! I'm a JEW--DUMBASS!!!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Math Teacher by biped 7-22-06

With this cool beverage, I will slake my thirst. Hmm...I assume, then, that "beverage" plus "thirst" equals "slake." I hate my neighbor's dog. Hmm...then, apparently, "you" plus "hate" equals "dog." Please, Sally--if you have a concern, put it in the form of an equation. Uhh..."me" plus "pants" equals "doo-doo."

Sally's Big Day by biped 7-23-06

Guess what, Mommy? I just invented COCK-FLAVORED LOLLIPOPS! OH, MY GOD!!! Mommy told me to come here and stay until I was a good girl again. Well, you're obviously a dangerous criminal. (chuckle) We'd better keep a really close eye on you. (giggle) I slit their throats, Mommy. And stepped over their wracking, blood-splattered corpses. And came back home. What's for supper? (sigh) Salmon patties.

Doggy Job Interview by biped 7-22-06

Hello, I'm "Pup" Swerdlow. I'm here about the job interview. You didn't tell me over the phone that you were a dog. Look, if you discriminate against me because of my species, I'll have the SPCA on this place so fast it'll-- FETCH THE NICE BONE, DOGGY! FETCH! FETCH! WOOF!!! WOO--fuck.

Default Panel Abuse by biped 8-30-06

He's so dreamy... Just look at him...(sigh) I could gaze into his beautiful eyes... forever...(melt) He makes my "special place" feel all...tingly...(gasp) I want him...on me... in me...all over me...(pant) ***[SPLOOOGE]***

Surprise Ending Comics by biped 7-22-06

Guess what, Mom? I just had my name legally changed to "Flexter Flurge." Oh! (giggle) That's nice, Billy--I mean, "Flexter."(chuckle) I have a registered letter here for a Mr. Flexter Flurge. But--but, there's no--I mean, he didn't really-- BWAAAAWK! BUK-BUK-BWAAAAAWK!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

That's My Barbie! by biped 7-01-06

Guess what, Daddy? My new boyfriend is the bastard son of a hundred maniacs. Aww, that's wonderful, snookums. See, Mom? Daddy never pays any attention to anything I say to him. Umm...have you forgotten that you're dead to me, Barbie? I can't hear dead people. Is that it, Daddy? Am I dead to you, too? Oh yes, pumpkin, that's very nice.

Variety Is The Spice Of Life by biped 7-20-06

Mmm-boy! This lifeburger sure is good! Waiter! Would you bring me some variety, please? This spaghetti and lifeballs is a little bland. "Pass that variety when you're done, Billy! I wanna stick some of it on these here life tots!" Mommy, why do I have to be on TV? Because Mommy needs the money for her stomach bypass, stupid. Now go study your fuckin' lines.

Desert Island Dave by biped 7-01-06

So...what do you do around here for fun? Oh...eat bananas... fling poop...mate... stuff like that. How can you stand not knowing who Jesse Ventura is?

Horse Attack by biped 5-30-06

HORSE ATTACK!!! RUN!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!! YAAAAAAA!!! We...had no... warning...(gurgle) HELP!!! HELP!!! THE HORSES ARE ATTACKING US!!! Unfortunately, we had no money for special effects, so...umm...you have to imagine the horses.

Be Kind To Kitty Cats by biped 6-08-06

Hello. My name is Milford Hozeniak, "the kitty cat's friend." Right, Muffin? meow Be kind to kitty cats, or I will come to your house and personally rip your liver out and eat it raw in front of your whole family. Right, Muffin? meow Should we air it? Well...it is "Be Kind To Kitty Cats" week.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

[IMG]http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/boorite/r33146_82315.jpg[/IMG]

---
What others say about boorite!

The one that I read was great and also about me which makes it twice as great. Great job.

i enjoyed these as well. now i will make t shirts in tribute of you.

---
Kill Whitey.

Fatty Joe was the best.

---
Poo perhaps?

Thank you for your nice comments. I am going to paste this computer monitor in my scrapbook.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

You deserve a lifetime supply of gummi bears.

---
the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

Suddenly Hugh Grant by biped 11-20-05

GAAAAAA!!! Who -- who are you? I'm Hugh Grant! HUGH GRANT? But he's -- he's HANDSOME! Oh, that's just makeup and special effects! There are no HANDSOME or BEAUTIFUL people in Hollywood! But -- what about Catherine Zeta-Jones? Catherine Zeta-Jones is a MAN!

A "Dog And Pig" Movie Moment by biped 12-15-05

Did you know that "Lassie" was played by a boy dog? Yeah. Why? I just wonder why they never admitted that he was a boy dog. Why should they do that? Well, then they could've made a movie called "Lassie's Big Dick."

The Biff McGurk Show by biped 2-15-06

Boy, we sure had fun playing football, baseball, and basketball today, didn't we, Biff? We sure did. Thanks again for letting me play with your balls today, Phil. Honest Pam, I was talking about sports. I'm not gay. Oh, I'm sure you and Phil Munson's scrotum will make a lovely couple.

Johnny Big-Ass by biped 2-24-06

Wow! You've got the BIGGEST ASS I ever saw! Thanks. Amazing! It's so big, it's like I'm seeing DOUBLE! Glad you enjoyed it, Father. Whew! I'm going to recommend Johnny's ass to all my friends! Compared to this, Disney World is just a big, stinking shithole!