So, before we cut this tree down, I'd like to say a few words.
Jesus Christ, this is retarded.
Dear Tree, thank you for this bountiful sacrifice that you are to give to us. We are grateful for this.
What the hell are you talking about? We're going to kill it, and hang shit on it. You're making it sound like it can actually understand what it's doing.
Can't you be happy for one chrstmas?
I just want to decorate the fuck out of this tree already.
I actually think you screwed up the punchline in #15, but #16 was up to your usual high quality. I wonder if the parents know your sister's having the kids call her by her porn star name.