The Incredible Bulk - Episode 1 by fuzzyman 10-30-01

One day at the ranch... So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!" Hi, ha! Hey, what's that whistling sound? Oh my G-- A mysterious figure emerges from the ashes! Who is he? Why is he here? Tune in for our next Bulkerriffic episode to find out! Or not! WHO... AM... I?

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 2 by fuzzyman 10-30-01

Hey there, big fella? Want to show a girl a good time? What's your name, tall, red, and handsome? TOB-- TOB-- TOB-- Toby? I'm Margarita... You seem a little lost. TOBY [processing] TOBY -- MY NAME IS TOBY! Say, that's quite the telescoping phallus you have there! TOBY THE TIGER! RRAAARRR!!!

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 3 by fuzzyman 10-30-01

RRRRMMM! TOBY WANT CIGARETTE! You were wonderful, loverboy! A real natural... Hey, you should talk to my Pimpdaddy about becoming a gigolo! Toby, I'm Oban Talisker. I understand that you have some talent! If you're willing, we can start your training with away. TOBY LEARN... Okay, repeat after me: Sucky, sucky. SUCKY, SUCKY!

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 4 by fuzzyman 10-30-01

RRRAAAARRR! SUCKY, SUCKY! Hey there, ya big red feller! So, you think you can show me a good time? TOBY CAN SATISFY ALL OF YOUR FELLATIAL NEEDS! Gol-darn it, boy! You use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore. TOBY *IS* A TWENTY DOLLAR WHORE! Dang! I knew I should have stopped at the ATM!

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 5 by fuzzyman 10-30-01

RRRAAARRR! SUCKY, SUCKY! A suck was not what I had in mind. Do you know how to cornhole? NULL PROGRAM. PLEASE DEFINE "CORNHOLE." Oh, have I got something to show you! Later... RRRAAARRR! TOBY FIND PURPOSE IN LIFE! Oh... my... God...

[Click to view comic: 'The Incredible Bulk - Episode 6']

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 7 by fuzzyman 10-30-01

WHAT IS GLEN THINKING? Oh, Toby, these past few weeks with you have brought new meaning to my life. TOBY'S CIRCUITS FEEL WARM AND FUZZY AROUND GLEN. RRRM!! Toby... my dear companion... I think I love you. TOBY LOVES GLEN! BUT GLEN STILL OWES TOBY $960 FOR MULTIPLE CORNHOLINGS. *sigh* I don't suppose you'll take a check?

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 8 by fuzzyman 10-30-01

Leaving? What do you mean, you're leaving? TOBY MUST FIND OUT WHERE HE CAME FROM. GAPS IN MEMORY. STRANGE DREAMS. MUST FIND WHERE TOBY BELONGS. Well, we're going to miss you, Toby. Your constant cornholing of the customers has made me a very rich man. Good luck and godspeed! THANK YOU, OBAN TALISKER! I WILL MISS YOU, PIMPDADDY... BUT TOBY MUST MEET HIS DESTINY! Please, just one last time!! PLUS, GLEN IS JUST NOT AS TIGHT AS HE WAS A FEW WEEKS AGO.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

*applause*

Encore! Encore!

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Workin' on it :-)

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 9 by fuzzyman 10-31-01

PRIMARY GOAL: FIND ORIGIN. NOTHING WILL DETER TOBY FROM THIS GOAL. Hey, look at me! I'm a hot ass! ...PROCESSING... Well, what are you waiting for? TOBY SUPPOSES HE COULD TAKE A LITTLE DETOUR... Detour your way behind me, you big hunk!

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 10 by fuzzyman 10-31-01

The Daystrom Computer Institute... So you want to find your origin, eh? What's the earliest thing you can remember? LOUD NOISE... GOING DOWN DOWN DOWN... THEN BIG CRASH!!! Big crash, eh? Let me see... HRRMMM... THAT FEELS FUNNY... I see the problem... you're running Windows 98! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 11 by fuzzyman 10-31-01

Redmond, Washington... Yes, I'm Bill Gates. How can I help you? TOBY NEEDS TO LEARN ORIGIN! AM TOLD TOBY IS RUNNING WINDOWS 98! Let me see... Yes, we wrote your operating system, but not your primary personality application. WHO WROTE IT? WHO? TELL TOBY!! It would seem to be... Computer Associates! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 12 by fuzzyman 10-31-01

Redomond, Washington... CAN BILL GATES EXPLAIN TOBY'S MEMORY LOSS? Well, it could be a memory leak. Those are pretty common. We could upgrade you to Windows XP. Let me take a look. HRRRMMM... THAT FEELS FUNNY!!! Your system has undergone some kind of shock... Hey, this is interesting! You seem to be in a recursive cornholing loop! SPEAKING OF CORNHOLING... TOBY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT WINDOWS XP LICENSING SCHEME! Umm.. I'd love you chat more but I really must be going!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 13 by fuzzyman 10-31-01

Islandia, New York... Welcome to Computer Associates... Toby! Is that you? MARGARITA, MY FELLOW HOOKER!! TOBY IS SEARCHING FOR HIS ORIGIN. WHY ARE YOU HERE? I'm a special consultant to CA, specializing in quality assurance! TOBY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND... Why do you think their software sucks so much? TOBY UNDERSTANDS...

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 14 by fuzzyman 10-31-01

Computer Associates headquarters... I can't find much information about your program, Toby. Most of it is secured... very hush hush. HUSH HUSH? It may have been a special job for the government, or maybe a rich client. I did learn one thing -- we subcontracted the job out to a programmer in California. TO WHO? WHO WAS THE PROGRAMMER? You're not going to believe this, but... it's Ron Jeremy. RON JEREMY IS TOBY'S DADDY? THIS STARTS TO MAKE SENSE...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 15 by fuzzyman 10-31-01

The estate of Ron Jeremy... RON JEREMY? NICE DYE JOB. YOU LOOK GOOD AS A REDHEAD. TOBY KNOWS IT ISN'T NATURAL. SEEN ALL YOUR FILMS! ...nice kitty... YOU WROTE TOBY'S PROGRAM. NEED YOU TO FIX IT. BIG MEMORY LOSS! ...kitty cat kitty cat meow meow kitty kitty purr kitty whee!!! You're a big kitty!! Kiss me kitty!! Kissy kiss! RON JEREMY IS INSANE!!! Rosebud!

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 16 by fuzzyman 10-31-01

The home of Ron Jeremy... HRRRM!! RON JEREMY IS INSANE. CAN TELL ME NOTHING. BUT HE DID SAY "ROSEBUD." MAYBE... Enter password: *** rosebud *** ACCESS DENIED RAAARRRR!!!! Enter password: **** anus **** ACCESS DENIED RRRR!!! ONE MORE TRY... Enter password: *** cornhole *** ACCESS GRANTED. Would you like to play a game?

What secrets lie in Ron Jeremy's computer? Will Toby find a clue to his origin? Will he get his recursive cornholing loop fixed? Tune in for our next Bulkerrific episode. It'll be Bulktastic!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

*cheer*

Good stuff. :)

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 17 by fuzzyman 11-01-01

NOW THAT TOBY HAS ACCESS TO THE COMPUTER, HE WILL FIND CLUE TO HIS ORIGIN!! Hey there. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? You haven't cornholed somebody in at least 4 strips. The readers expect an average of .5 cornholings per strip. So, here I am! Ummm... Toby? What about the plot? RRRAAARR! SHUT UP WRITER MAN, OR YOU GET CORNHOLED NEXT! TURN AROUND, DONKEY! This thing has a plot? News to me!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

LOL

funny funny.

Now why do we call him Tobor and not Toby?

Fuzzyman, if you take this series to 21 episodes, it will comprise a full quarter of your whole repertoire.

Not important, just thought it was interesting.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Once I finished my first few comics, I started finding it difficult to think up comics on the fly. But given some contraints and a premise, I have someplace to start. I felt that I needed to do some comics outside the various contests and themes, so I set up this premise and it's taken on a life of it's own.

It was actually going to be a neverending soap opera about competing liquor store owners in a small town (a la Dynasty). The only thing that survived that idea were the names like "Oban Talisker."

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

This is some great stuff! Mind if I add you to my favorites?

~alison

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I'm back.

Why would I mind? :-)

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 18 by fuzzyman 11-01-01

*beep* File not found. RRRRM.... TOBY'S SOURCE CODE IS NOT HERE... BUT MAYBE DATA ON WHO COMMISIONED TOBY's PROGRAM... *beep* File not found. RRRAAARRR! COMPUTER WILL GIVE TOBY DATA, OR TOBY WILL CORNHOLE TINY USB PORT WITH BIG TELESCOPING PHALLUS! *beep* Richard Gere. Secret Hideaway: Death Valley, California. RRRM! TOBY'S GOT L337 SK1LZ!

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 19 by fuzzyman 11-01-01

Toby wanders around Death Valley... Searching... Searching... WHERE IS RICHARD GERE'S SECRET HIDEAWAY?? Days go by without the basic necessities... then weeks... RRRAAARR! WHERE??? HE MUST BE SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE!!! After weeks of wandering the desert, Toby 's circuits can take no more! AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, TOBY SHALL NEVER GO CORNHOLE-LESS AGAIN!! Say, are you lookin' for Richard Gere?

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

quote:

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LOL

funny funny.

Now why do we call him Tobor and not Toby?

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Agreed... but I figured a WIndows 98 joke was more accessible to the unwashed non-tech masses. On the other hand, that didn't stop me from making jokes about Computer Associates.

Just loaded Windows XP Professional on a test machine... Damn is that thing full of built-in promos for MSN, Passport, Hotmail, MSN Messenger, etc. etc. I think I'll stick with Win2K.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 20 by fuzzyman 11-02-01

YOU CAN TAKE TOBY TO RICHARD GERE? I work for him. So you're calling yourself Toby, eh? You have amnesia or something? TOBY REMEMBERS NOTHING BEFORE BIG CRASH. NEEDS RICHARD GERE COMISSIIONED MY PROGRAM. MAYBE HE CAN FIX IT. Well, I don't know if he can fix you, be he will certainly be happy to see you! You've been missing for months! QUESTION: TOBY THOUGHT RICHARD GERE WAS INTO HAMSTERS, NOT SQUIRRELS. Workin' his way up the food chain, my friend. Workin' his way up the food chain! And the hamsters are into him, if you catch my meaning.

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 21 by fuzzyman 11-02-01

SO THIS IS RICHARD GERE'S SECRET DEATH VALLEY HIDEAWAY? WHEN CAN TOBY MEET HIM? You wait here... I'll go get him. RICHARD GERE? In the flesh, ha ha! RICHARD GERE IS DEAD? So's my acting career. What's your point?

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 22 by fuzzyman 11-02-01

TOBY NEEDS MEMORY GAPS FIXED. ALSO HAVE PROBLEM WITH RECURSIVE CORNHOLING LOOP! The cornholing loop is a normal part of your program. You were designed to cornhole! Oh, and your name is Tobor, not Toby. Your memory banks must have been severely damaged! TOBOR. TOBY'S NAME IS TOBOR. [PROCESSING] THESE PAST MONTHS, TOBOR HAS LEARNED MANY NEW SUBROUTINES!! Oh, like what? SUCKY, SUCKY! Oh my!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 23 by fuzzyman 11-02-01

The Death Valley hideaway of Richard Gere... SO TOBOR WAS BUILT JUST TO CORNHOLE YOU? Well, partly. You're also the prototype for PrisonBot XL, designed to keep those big, burly maximum security prisoners appropriately subdued. HOW WOULD TOBOR SUBDUE PRISONERS? By cornholing them twenty-four hours a day, of course! RRRRMMMM! SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM! Yes, I've often dreamed of big, burly maximum security prisoners.

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 24 by fuzzyman 11-02-01

HOW DID TOBOR LOSE HIS MEMORY? Well, we boosted the power to your telescoping phallus. You extended it a bit too fast and catapulted yourself clear over the horizon. All we found were some injured cowboys. CAN TOBOR'S MEMORY BE RESTORED? I think if we recreate the conditions of the original experiment, the amnesia may reverse itself... One day at the ranch... What was I sayin'? Oh yeah, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!" Ha, ha! Hey, there's that whistling sound again! Oh SHIT! SHIT! SH--

The Incredible Bulk - Episode 25 by fuzzyman 11-02-01

The smoke clears... and Tobor emerges from the ashes.. TOBOR REMEMBERS!!!! Tobor remembers, indeed! He remembers day after day of cornholing Richard Gere's pasty white ass! Gerbils and squirrels scurrying over his telescoping member! Day after day with only one ass to fill! SO... TIRED... Come here, Tobor! Time to ravage my ass again!!! TOBOR WISHES HE COULD FORGET!!!

The Incredible Bulk - Chapter 26 by fuzzyman 11-02-01

And so, our story comes to an end... TOBOR WON'T GO BACK TO RICHARD GERE. HAD ENOUGH OF THAT... MUST FIND NEW ASSES TO CORNHOLE!! Yes,Tobor begins wandering in search of tight holes! This chapter of Tobor's life is at an end. But perhaps it is the beginning of a new chapter? Perhaps you, dear reader, will write that chapter? *AHEM* Any final words before we go, Tobor? STOP NARRATING EVERY PANEL LIKE A FUCKING NEWBIE OR TOBOR WILL SHOW YOU WHAT CORNHOLE REALLY MEANS!!

I have brought this saga to an end, but you are invited to add additional chapters as you see fit. I may do so myself.

Thank you, and good night!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Bravo!

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Well, that does it. You're going on my list now, fuzzyman.

Exceptional.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

(blushes) Thank you all.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

That's funny. Almost as funny as the time that Tobor cornholed stuff. And other stuff. But all sarcasm aside, that was funny and well made.

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Little did I know that snakebites were poisonous. Even littler of did I know that I'm allergic to penicillin. That was just not my day...