So last night I went on a date with a beautiful girl. We danced, went to dinner, and a movie. At the end of the night, I took her back to my place to find out this was not a beautiful woman, but Adolf Hitler. Worst date of my life, needless to say, but I'm sure y'all have had worse than this. So I figured, "Hey, why not have the good people of stripcreator help me feel better about myself by showing shitty dates in comic form!?" I have invited the extremely shitty emocore band Alexisonfire to explain the rules. Take it away guys!

1. Your comic should be about a bad date, either real or totally made up. Just make it funny. Doesn't make a shit of difference to us, but the more it makes you want to cut yourself, the better.

2. Kay, so like no past entries. Jesus, you should know this by now.

3. Bonus points if you can work "Porkchop Sandwiches" somewhere into your comic or series.

So get crackin on those comics, people. Judging will be sometime next week.

I Have a Date! by LuckyGuess 1-16-07

You can't get into this dance. Your date's shoes do not constitute semi-formalwear. I feel awkward. Let's go back to your house. I JUST BOUGHT MOVIE TICKETS. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME. Hold my hand while you drive in the middle of the night. You know we're going to die, don't you?

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

Breakin' da rulez...

BTC 38 by HCRoyall 9-09-05

Hi, I'm Jeff. David. Sandra didn't tell me you were a clown. What's that like? I'm not a clown. My kids' laundry got mixed in with my white robes and hood. Let's start over.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

- by dcomposed 1-16-07

The night is just getting started baby. My mother is waiting at home. Sweet I didn't know I was getting a threesome.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

- by dcomposed 1-16-07

Let's go throw eggs at cars now. This is the worst date I have ever been on. There are people starving, we should throw lumps of dirt instead.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

- by dcomposed 1-16-07

Your blind date is here. Well shit send him in son.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

I don't have to win... If you simply get it I'll be happy

Plural Necklace

Not only am I a hooker, but I am obliged to charge double because technically I’m whores...

by RedfeatheR, 1-17-07

March 10th, 2002: Eighty-Nine Years and Eleven Months Later by boloboffin 1-16-07

Who's this cutie? 32, red hair, thin, NASA engineer, loves comics, role playing games, just out of the closet, eager to explore... Dear God, do such things really exist? A virgin with a good attitude! Love red-skinned lizard guys in suits...

March 14th: Warning Signs Ignored by boloboffin 1-17-07

OMG, he looks just like his pictures! Yeah, I've never had sex at all. Look, here I am at the Comic Con. omg he's dressed as nightcrawler So how long has it been since you've had sex? The costume IS pretty good.

Later That Evening: Iceberg Dead Ahead! by boloboffin 1-17-07

*smack* MMM *kiss* Ooo! This may actually be the one... RRRRRRRR rrrrrrrrrrrrr RRRRRRRR rrrrrrrrrrrr What the hell are you doing?! Oh, sometimes I just wish I had a double larynx.

Man The Lifeboats by boloboffin 1-17-07

Wow...I'm not a virgin anymore. No, you're not. Hey, it didn't bother you there at the end, when I howled like a wolf? No. Not at all. Hey, let's go see a movie. Now would be good. Sure. Anything you want to see... Great. I haven't seen Moulin Rouge, how about you?

Survivor Humor by boloboffin 1-17-07

All in all, he was really sweet. Sometimes I wonder, if I had just let Baz Luhrmann's spell take me away... No shit. It was just like a biped wolf howl. OOO-WOO- WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Of course, it's a real story. Who could make that shit up?

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

RCL no. 1387 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-17-07

JESUS HENRIETTA CHRIST, MARTHA!! What's wrong, Ralph? WHAT'S WRONG? LOOK AT ME! I'M SKINLESS!! Well... I told you I could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. I guess when I was blowing you, I got a tad carried away... A TAD? A TAD?? It'll grow back... I think... Anyways, I'm in the mood for a porkchop sandwich. You fly, I'll buy...

Worlds Worst Date by wizardsfan 1-17-07

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH That fells good Quack!!! What????

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i break for.............. oh shit no breaks

CC345: El Joke-O Es Poor-O. by UnknownEric 1-17-07

So, wanna screw? Sure. Aha, it is me, Jesus! Aww, does that mean I'm not getting laid? I didn't say that. Sweet!

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I has a flavor!

RCL no. 1388 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-17-07

(A typical argument with my girlfriend...) I'm telling you, honey... The name of the movie is, "Porkchop Hill", starring Gregory Peck and Harry Guardino... IT'S "PORKCHOP SANDWICH", YOU FUCKING MORON!! Okay, okay... I don't want to argue- SO, YOU'RE SAYING I DO? FUCK YOU!! I wasn't saying YOU want to argue. I meant I just don't want to argue- NO, YOU MEANT THAT I LIKE TO ARGUE! I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS!! So, we on for Friday?

Groovy! - Ode to Unknown Eric by edoggydog 1-17-07

Wanna screw? Groovy! Aha, it is me, Crabby! Does this mean we STILL have to screw? Yes. Ew.

Card-Carrying Super Pervert by possums 1-17-07

I figured that dating a super pervert would probably ensure me some very wild sex. How are the clams? Their delicate structure slides gently down my duodendum. I am experiencing anal euphoria. I mean, that makes sense, doesn't it? Someone who thinks about nothing but sex is bound to be dynamite! This film reminds me of all the tiny children running around in the playground of my pants. Schindler's List? I was wrong. I only want to stare at you and bask in your erotic pixelization.

Pardon me if this sucks. It's been a while.

Everyone Knows it's Herbie by cpausti 1-17-07

Hey Charlie! I got some "shit" for tonight! suh-WEEEET. Bust out the herb, baby. Weed? I said shit! Pure shit! To wipe on each other! Foreplay!

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all the wrong things for all the right reasons

CC 345: She Works Hard For The Moany by umfumdisi 1-17-07

Ever had a Porkchop Sandwich? No, but I had porkchops and toast for breakfast once. No, a Porkchop Sandwich. Again, no. Let me spell it out. Would... you... like... me... to... give... you... a... porkchop... sandwich? I usually charge 50 bucks for one, you know. "Usually charge?"

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

cc345: how HCRoyall met his fiancee by mandingo 1-17-07

hey, how'd your blind date go last night it sucked. she called me the wrong name during sex the night before fuck me, PeeWee! fuck me, you tiny cocked motherfucker! deeper, PeeWee, deeper! what'd she call you? Thor.

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what if nigger meant kite

mandingo

That was my girlfriend before my fiancee.  Get your story straight.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Groovy! - Captain Obvious and the Tranny Surprise by edoggydog 1-18-07

You went on a blind date last night, dad? Yes, son. My buddy hooked me up with a tall, black woman named Yowanda... Yowanda? HAHAHAHAHAHA Don't you know that she's a... a he... a he... a hehehehehe hehehehehehehe... She's a what? Comedienne? Is that why she has such a deep voice and large hands? (Later, Captain Obvious finds out that Lowanda is not, in fact, a comedienne, and immediately upchucks the porkchop sandwich he had for lunch!) Lowanda's a MAN?? [YAAAAAAACK!! ]

Pain is in the details by bobby17 1-19-07

My favorite time of year is baseball season cause I love baseball. Yeah, me too. You're pretty hot. Wanna go back to my place and fuck and then play some X-box? Yes. So? How was she in bed? Was it awesome? It was. Now I'm stuck over at her house all the time having to fuck her.

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I once was lost, but now am found.

Going to Hell by CP 1-21-07

So? You excited about your date tonight? Dude, I am totally stoked! I heard she is really hot! Blind date? So, how you gonna know who she is? I am meeting her at her hotel room. Said she'd be wearing a little black dress! So, um...wanna have sex? MY EYES!!!

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Don't you wish your mother was hot like me?

CC 345: It's four o'clock and we're in trouble deep by lukket 1-21-07

Hi, my date with Susie went totally bad. We both fell asleep during the movie. What did you go and watch "Paint your Wagon" for anyway? And now everbody assumes that stuff happened. That's not the worst that can happen. Now you can go to the next level on the second date without anyone giving it a thought. But what about her reputation? You should have thought about that before sleeping with her at the movies!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

mandingo

*Bows to Mandingo*

RCL no. 1390 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 1-22-07

And, then I showed her my comics on stripcreator.com... That's when she kicked me in the nuts, and ran out of Starbuckets. Screaming. Bitch. Anyhoo... How was your blind date? About as much fun as fucking a bag of porkchop sandwiches! I envy you! You should!

cc345: data rate by arbi 1-22-07

I've been meeting new people on manhunt.net, part of a plan to in 2007 find a job and a social life. So I got invited for dinner by these two fat old trolls who are into jesus. Nice guys actually. I explained that I'm vegan, but wasn't sure it would go well. Porkchop sandwhich? More porkchop sandwhich? I got there at 6, and it turned out better than I expected. They stood me up.

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woof