Here is the series in its continuity and its far from over im just too lazy to do it faster. May Bob Barker have mercy on my soul.

Ballad of the Wookie Prostitute no.1 by NastyPope 9-24-01

Heya, Biznatch. Hold it right there, alien, This One does not recognize You. Biznatch, its me, Murry. This One is perplexed, Murry is Human. You are... not. It's a long story, pal. My hands are really killing me, lets get a couple Endorian Ales and I'll tell you why you should never get mixed up with a Wookie Prostitute. Wookie Prostitute ??!?!?

Ballad of the Wookie Prostitute no.2 by NastyPope 9-24-01

Allright, thats better, now let me see where to start......................You remember those two clowns from Galaxy 713 who were so stoned they grabbed the wrong wormhole and nearly crashed into us ? Yes, This One remembers, they offered us a full bag of Plutonian Nyborg for the right directions home. Those are the guys. Well, Biznatch, last week I decided to take a hit of that stuff and thats when all hell broke loose. This One is thinking "Uh Oh" "heh, you got that right, One hit of that & I was ready to Gnarfle a Garthak bare handed... then SHE walked by" Heya Baby, you can call me Murry and i've been lookin all over the galaxy for someone cute and fury, like you. Rrrrrr*r Awrrr Urr-r-r-r-oooorr.

Ballad of the Wookie Prostitue no.3 by NastyPope 9-25-01

I'm telling you Biznatch, she was a dream come true. Long legs, huge hairy breasts, that tight leather corset. You know what I'm talkin' bout, right ? Actually, This One does not understand attraction. This One's species reproduces asexually by rectal polyp, but please continue amusing annecdote. "Uh, yeah, sure.....anyhow, I see some hot action, & I have a pocket full of credits, and a galactic buzz..." You, my dear, are something special. You have what I need in the worst way. How much to let me ride you til both suns set? I'll even pick the lice off_your_ass_when_I'm_done. Rrrrrr*r Awrrr 50 Crrdtts Urr-r-r-r-oooorr. She was one smoooooth talker. She had game and she new it, that haughty wench. But 50 credits? Shit, I only paid 5 for a night with that slave of Jabba's.... what was her name...? If This One's memory is correct, the name was Leia...

Ballad of the Wookie Prostitute no.4 by NastyPope 9-26-01

Leia... yeah, that's the one. What a piece of ass. Imagine finding a gorgeous human woman without a mark on her in Jabba's shithole. She swallowed too, seemed to dig it. What a woman! Swallowed??? "heh, nevermind about the Mangoo. Point is, exotic whore or not, The wookie was asking waaay to much. Whoa there beautiful, 50 credits is a bit steep, even for some hot hairy ass like yourself. Rrrrrr*r Awrrr Urr-r-r-r-oooorr. R-r-r-rrrrrou, Har-rr-ur errrmrr rrr...... See described sexual acts the likes of which would have made a Siith blush. The_Tied_Tounge_Fighter, Light Saber Loving, Feel the Force, Millenium Fuckin, & others. I gave her every credit. This One is intrigued.

Ballad of the Wookie Prostitute no.5 by NastyPope 9-29-01

So there I am, stoned out of my mind, hairy hooker on my arm, bookin it back to her place for some interspecies_relations.. This One thinks you must have had a great time. Well, yes and no. When we got there I took another hit of the Nyborg and the Fuzzy Fornicator wanted one too. I figured WTF and let her have a toot. BIG MISTAKE!!!! There is a reason why Wookies are not allowed into Pharmacies. I found out the hard way. At first she seemed fine, so we got to business and man oh man, let me tell you, she was the best oral sex I ever got, amazing tounge.... Too much information, making this One queezy, need to lay down.

[Click to view comic: 'Ballad of the Wookie Prostitute no.6']

[Click to view comic: 'Ballad of the Wookie Prostitute no.7']

[Click to view comic: 'Ballad of the Wookie Prostitute no.8']

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

I was terribly afraid before I read this that I would need an excessive ammount of Star Wars knowledge to get more then 1/4 of the jokes. Good to see that my fears were misplaced. I should have been more afraid of anal tribbles.

Many of the jokes are totally outside the starwars universe. There are references to Star Trek, Heavy Metal, Xfiles, Battlestar Galactica amongst others.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

Im intrigued , and mildly amused

and the "You couldve flown an X-Wing up my arse and i wouldnt have noticed" line sounds like something DX would say.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

I love them. Keep 'em coming.

It's all I have to satiate my need for Star Wars. Till May, that is. Woohoo!

I'm not sure what I'm looking forward to more: Episode 2 or Matrix 2. I think the latter, but I'm pretty excited about both.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Would this be a bad time to point out the correct spelling of "Wookiee"?

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.