Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 6/13/07 by boloboffin 6-27-07

I was drawing a dog, but his neck got too long, so I made him a giraffe. Stupid kid. He means "dick." Oh, yeah, that's right, Grandma. I made his dick too long, so I'm calling him boloboffin.

Feel free to add your own second panel to your favorite Family Circus comic!

http://www.familycircus.com

Maybe we can get a nod from the website. They've got some knock-off comics printed there that would curl your toes (especially Ted Rall's, yikes!).

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 6/15/07 by boloboffin 6-28-07

Oh! This food is old. We'll throw it out. But we can keep Grandma, right? Of course! When you freeze meat, it lasts for months. Yay! How about ribs tonight, Mommy?

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 6/16/07 by boloboffin 6-30-07

If I ever win the lottery, I think I'll spend it all at the ice cream truck. Of course, I could always sell you guys to sick pervs on eBay. That reminds me. I've got an auction ending today.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

This is a wonderful idea that you have had.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 11/23/87 by biped 7-02-07

Daddy, will you move the sun, please? No, but I will bury you alive with a rotted corpse.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 11/26/87 by biped 7-02-07

I wish we could have GRUEL for breakfast. Oliver Twist even wanted seconds. FUCK YOU.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 12/5/87 by biped 7-02-07

What else did I do that was funny when I was little? First, you dive for Mommy's earring. Then you can come out.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

You see? It's addictive, I tell you.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 6/19/07 by boloboffin 7-02-07

Am I doing anything cute, Grandma? Don't worry, Ma'am. No jury in the world would convict you.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

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Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

I laughed heartily at the last two.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Why Family Circus is only one panel (blackface edition) by ojcme 6-29-07

The furnace clean, but wait 'til you see Daddy.

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Hooray for catharsis!

Why the Family Circus is only one panel 5/16/07 by Namgubed 7-03-07

No, my little man, you won't need any worms to play "Go Fish" ... but your rotting corpse will need them after you lose.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 5/31/07 by Namgubed 7-03-07

Whoever made this keyboard didn't know how to spell the alphabet. Boom chicka wah wow ... But I know YOU do, Jeffy - with your tongue!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

Why Family Circus is Only One Panel - June 8, 2007 by UnknownEric 7-05-07

When you lie on your tummy, your bottom is on top! Oh my God, are you fucking retarded or something?

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I has a flavor!

Why Family Circus is only One Panel, July 5 2007 by HCRoyall 7-05-07

You can't call dibs on Grandma's lap, Billy! Oh, it's okay dear. You can have a turn right after Billy. Shut the fuck up and let me handle this, you old bag.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7/3/07 by boloboffin 7-17-07

Can't you pretend you're Grandma just once and give us whatever we want? Old Lady!!! What the Fuck?! Remember my curse, dear - four just like you.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: Not Me! by boloboffin 7-17-07

Who broke the new lamp? Not Me! Listen, you fucking asshole. Rat me out one more time and I'll rip out your heart and eat it while you watch! WHAAAAA- HAAAAAAA- HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Why Family Circus is only One Panel by HCRoyall 7-17-07

A good thing about Global Warming is that the birds could stay here instead of going south in the winter. We were only ten feet away from an activist rally and you just had to open your fucking mouth.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Aw, crap, HCRoyall, you must be doing them from the paper. Didn't mean to dupe:

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7/9/07 by boloboffin 7-23-07

A nice thing about global warming is the birds could stay here all winter instead of flying south. How do you talk with Bush's cock that far down your throat? I've got a double larnyx.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7/10/07 by boloboffin 7-24-07

Dr. Douglas Schwarz GASTROENTEROLOGIST I don't want to be one of them. It's too hard to spell. Dr. Douglas Schwarz GASTROENTEROLOGIST Are you sure? They get to fiddle with rectal bleeding, anal cysts, polyps, hemmoroids, diarrhea... Stick in a fist and call me Dr. Billy!

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7/11/07 by boloboffin 7-25-07

Is this what it's like to be on a date, Daddy? It depends. How much am I going to have to spend before you put out?

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

I actually got the date wrong in the title. It should be 7/5/07.

Why Family Circus is Only One Panel: 7/7/07 by UnknownEric 7-25-07

I'll make you eat your words, young man. Mmm! Thank you, mommy. Alphabet soup. Mommy, why does my soup say, "FUCK YOU"?

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I has a flavor!

These are great.  I'd love to participate, but in order to do so I'd have to read a Family Circus comic... and it's just not worth it.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Now that I understand the concept, here's a submission.  My first try was obviously not derived from a real Family Circus cartoon, not only because it had Dolly grabbing a nun's boob but because it was funny...

Why Family Circus is One Panel: 12/7/70 by themushroom 8-02-07

standing in front of the pharmacy "Drugs"... Oooh! I learned that word in school! We better tell the police! That reminds me, I need to pick up your Trazadone, I mean, bedtime vitamins today...

 

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

Hey, look, it's the Nietzsche Family Circus!

My favorite so far:

http://www.losanjealous.com/nfc/perm.php?c=50&q=234

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

I'd seen a few of these and made some of my own, but didn't know there was a thread for them until it got bumped to the top. Here are the ones I've made:

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 11/13/07 by kane2742 11-18-07

When I get to college, what toys will they have for me to play with? For you, Jeffy, I'd guess anal beads, ball gags, and butt plugs.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 11/25/07 by kane2742 12-01-07

That wasn't our car you heard, mommy. It was me going "Vroom! Vroom!" Vroom! Vroom! Thank you.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 12/1/07 by kane2742 12-01-07

You can give without loving, but you can't love unless you give... head.

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"Laughter is the language of the soul." - Pablo Neruda, as quoted by Lisa Simpson

*Hops on the bandwagon*

Why Family Circus is Only One Panel 1/29/08 by theburninator 2-14-08

Bocelli is one of the foremost classical singers. Who are the other three? Suck, My, and Cock. Aw, Daddy, not again!

Why Family Circus is Only One Panel 1/3/08 by theburninator 2-14-08

Grandma says when we put away the Christmas things, we shouldn't put the Christmas Spirit away with them. What does that mean? It means your grandmother is a drunk, and I'm hiding my bottle of Peppermint Licqueur.

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what happened to my rustic monologue? ...i'm not sleeping with that producer again

I saw yesterday's strip and it was so fucking gratuitous I had to do something that fits this thread...

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 6/16/08 by themushroom 6-17-08

I'm glad we picked a Mommy and Daddy who don't use tobacco! Of course, sweetie. Your father and I know that reefer has fewer carcinogens and helps make the stupid things you little shits say actually funny.

 

...and something that does not.

Family Circus outtake

first draft of 6/16/08's strip I'm glad we chose a Mommy and Daddy that don't play with our potty parts while we are fast asleep! or not that you know anyway

by themushroom, 6-17-08

 

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

I don't why, but I forgot to post these in this thread after I made them.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7-11-07 by biped 9-02-07

Is this what it's like to be on a date, Daddy? Oh, my god--I think I'm going to be sick.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7-13-07 by biped 9-02-07

It's a little hazy out there, but you'd better put on some sunscreen. Don't we have any haze screen? "Haze screen"? There's no such thing, fuckhead.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7-20-07 by biped 9-02-07

My dad got us a lizard from Arizona, but we couldn't get it to talk. I'll have what he's having.

Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 7-26-07 by biped 9-02-07

Pessimists see it half empty and optimists see it half full. Kinda like your plastic shit pants, huh Grandma?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

CC 378: Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 11/24/87 by biped 1-25-08

It's in reverse chronological order. I'm afraid it's your time, my child. Be brave. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners... Holy shit, it looks like a fucking hog-killin' in here. Twenty years on the force--first time I ever blew chunks. Keep it together...keep it together... "Know...knot... knee...knob..." Why do I have to keep writin' in these K's when they don't make any noise anyway?

CC 378: Why Family Circus Is Only One Panel: 12/2/87 by biped 1-25-08

It's in reverse chronological order. Can Jason stay over? His mother works. Kin I stay over wit you? My mama's "workin'." Get lost, boy. I'm suckin' dick fo' de rent tonight.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.