For some reason I was drawn to this graphic so I've started a series using it.  Maybe it's verbose.  But it's based on someone I've seen at Walmart a few times, I couldn't say how closely.

My intention in stripping is to be random, so here's the sort of thing I want to create:

Comments appreciated. 

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

Damn, how embarassing, the links didn't work and it won't let me edit.

The way I want things to be:

The Prince of Rinse by themushroom 7-17-07

Y'know, I have that "not-so-fresh feeling" right now. What I really need right now is... *TA TA TAAAA!!* Greetings, funky-crotched citizen! Douche-Man!!

 

And the two Target Greeter Girl comix, which are verbose but fun:

Target Greeter Girl #1 : Big Bucks, No Whammies by themushroom 7-17-07

TGG wasn't sure what she was looking for when she went to the singles bar... You're a nice looking girl. I'd love to take you out for a romantic dinner and a movie, then we could drink fine wine and cuddle. *bzzt* You're probably the most funny and intelligent woman here tonight! I'd like to get you know you better and see if we have any chemistry. *bzzt* ...but she'd know when she found it. Let's cut the crap. I want to tie you naked to my bed- posts and lick your clit until you gasp you're gonna die. Then we never meet again. *ding! ding!*

Target Greeter Girl #2 : Nebbishim Ulterior Motives by themushroom 7-17-07

TGG was that girl in school that everyone knew of but no one actually knew. People assumed she was in Special Ed but she was not. She still lived in her parents' house at 24 to save money. I hope some friendly people come to shop. She had a great personality, but people didn't pay attention to her. That's why she became a Target greeter: so others would HAVE to acknowledge her existance. The crew had a party last night I wasn't invited to? I watched reruns. What the world was missing: she had the nicest tits in town and she mastur- bated twice a day with the curtains open, hoping someone would watch. Before starting dinner, I'm gonna jill offf over that 16 year old guy that I let swipe a belt.

Better? 

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

I like you.  Especially the title using the word "Spackletown".

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I had a not-so-fresh feeling before reading these comics. Now it's gone.

COINCIDENCE?

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

i like em.

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Kill Whitey.

Decent grammar and spelling are refreshing.

HCR:  Thanks - it's an oblique reference to my found-photo website, Laughter is the Spackle of the Soul [ http://spackle.saysomethingcryptic.com ] and their high school puts on an interesting rendition of the play "Arsenic and Old Spice".

Lucky:  That clean fresh feeling keeps the good times on my mind. Like a drive through the mountains.

Angry:  Thank you! There will be further adventures of Target Greeter Girl, she seems so... so close to what I look for in a woman.

CP:  You haven't seen my lolcats yet.  But anyhow, I know the feeling, I prefer the comics I read to be readable too. 

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

I work at a different department store, thank you.

I can see you like me already.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

AC:  Good to see you!  Target Greeter Girl works at Target for one reason:  She wanted to work at Walmart but her vest was red, not blue.  Even in school she wore a red vest.  People assumed it was for safety.  And being unique, she observed that she's never seen a greeter at any Target she'd been to.  She opened up a market niche for herself, how many of us can say the same?

And I saw her in the park today:

Target Greeter Girl #3 : You can't fool Mother Nature by themushroom 7-18-07

TGG realized one day during her 15 minute break that she never gets out. Either she's at work or she's at home... always. She decided to go to the park on her day off for a change of scenery. trees. birds. fresh air. natural light. grass. shrubbery. We all live in our comfort zones, it became apparent to her, and as Glenda told Dorothy... there's no place like home. 10:25 a.m. - I still have plenty of time to run the word "penis" through Google Images.

 

Yes, I like you lots.  Even your avatar makes me stiff. 

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

The previous cartoon was based upon a true story, though the real person wouldn't ever take a job working with the public.  Or not working with the public either.  The following may also be true:

Target Greeter Girl #4 : Where To Scratch An Itch by themushroom 7-19-07

TGG always sensed she was out of place. Try as she might to fit into any situation, to be an active part of her surroundings, she never quite fit in... anywhere. not here, curious little girl present She didn't let this dischord keep her from seeking that 'happy place' she knew had to exist. She knew that one day she'd find it. not here, anyone walking in can see under desk easily And until it was with other people, she would settle for any quiet place she could be alone, sit down, let her pants slide to her ankles, and let her fingers do the walking. here... yes.

 

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

thats too much readin'

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xx( o Y o. )xx

aus:  Sometimes you gotta narrate.  TGG herself isn't very vocal.  In fact, if it weren't for the omniscience that the comic format offers (an advantage over real life) she'd say nothing at all.  Then you wouldn't have a joke to get.  Oh, I saw one of the inspirations for TGG yesterday at Walmart, she even spoke to me, and I'll always remember what she said... "finding everything you need, sir?" *warmfuzzyfeeling*

Here's something less narrative, requires less mental chewing.

CC395: Mindy's Anti-Pedo Defense (-10HP) by themushroom 7-18-07

Hey, hot little schoolgirl... how do you keep the boys from tapping that? Kegel exercises and harnessing my inner incontinence.

Happier, aus?

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

Okay since:

a) I like this place and make comix more than once a week,

b) I'd like to be able to edit posts (see the fux0r'd parsing of the previous post... wtf?)

c) I wanna see and leave appreciative comments

d) Someone other than christopher7murphy should be listed in the first block sometimes

I've donated. Okay? kthzbai.

Things I Learned From Sue Johansson by themushroom 7-18-07

Hey Larry, did you try that thing I told you about last week with your wife? Huh, didja? shit, I knew he was going to ask... No, I didn't donkey- punch her, and I'm afraid of trying to goatse her to stick a wound-up joy buzzer in her rectum. What's there to be afraid of? Didn't you say it worked on her mother? Yeah, but her mom's a bigger asshole.

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

themushroom

you know, i was a skeptic, then you came at me with the kegel joke. and that's something we can all enjoy. scrumtrelescent!

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xx( o Y o. )xx

Glad to be of service, Aus.  It took an additional 10 minutes and one rewrite to find the perfect punchline.  9 of that was spent trying to remember the word "Kegel" without looking it up.

Time for more action! adventure! real people I've known gone wrong and turned into comic strips! 

Target Greeter Girl #5 : Self-Control by themushroom 7-20-07

TGG has never had a real boyfriend. She's had a couple guys take an interest in her, but it was only for a short time and only for her body. see it's all right now - I've learned my lesson well... "I don't need a guy right now," she said to herself one night, "I have the Internet, I have my imagination, and I have my old friend television." ...you see, you can't please everyone... Too true. She named the TV remote "Bob" and kept it in her nightstand drawer. She shorted it out years ago, so the only thing it turned on was her. ...so you've got to please yourself.

Target Greeter Girl #6 : Alone Again, Naturally by themushroom 7-21-07

TGG had this special way of keeping the riffraff at bay: if someone she didn't want to talk to attempted conversation, she'd strike up a conversation with anyone else nearby. ...so I was wondering if you would like to go see a movie... HEY JEFF! I haven't talked to you since training class! You're in elec- tronics now, right? To say the least, it was effective at driving unwanted people away within a minute. I see how it is. DANA! I hear you told the boss to stick a sock in it and lived! Luck-ee! HEY JIM! Haircut? She never quite grasped the old saying, "we reap what we sow" as she plowed those few seeds she was given under. It'd be nice if people wanted to get to know me. *lonely sigh*

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

More comics based on people I've known, only one of whom would sleep with me.  One that features Target Greeter Girl:

Target Greeter Girl #7 : Get High On Yourself by themushroom 7-23-07

TGG liked to go hiking once in awhile, it was her secret bliss. It got her out of town and away from work, away from people, and away from technology... she could hear herself think undistracted. basalt. rodent. meandering river. She always took her trips by herself, which was by choice: she wanted the quiet, pristine world all to herself, for her to control. Other people would just drag behind her. trees. meadow. 20° incline for the next half-mile to the top. And until she found someone who could make her climax as often as she did alone, she'd come to - and on - this peak solo. I wonder if my moaning echoes in the canyon below?

One that doesn't:

Mothers Say The Darndest Things by themushroom 7-23-07

Hey Rod, you'll never guess what happened to my daughter Melissa! Melissa... 18, D-cup, five foot one, soccer player? Her. I took her to the clinic last week for a Depo-Provera shot so she could lose her virginity to her boyfriend. Wow... What a mom! So how did that turn out? [actual quote from an actual mom] That same day he broke up with her to date a cheer- leader. The dumbass missed out on the finest piece he'd ever get. !!!

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.

First, an old joke about a pickle slicer:

Don't get your fish where you get your bread by themushroom 7-26-07

I think I told you my biggest work-related fantasy is to stick my dick in the office shredder. Well, yesterday, I was alone with the office shredder... so I stuck it in. It felt better than I expected, man. Now that retarded girl that destroys our sensative documents is crying 'sexual harassment' to HR.

Second, earlier today this 24 year old woman I know from a forum shared the story online, and someone else replied 

with the five words "inquiring minds want to know".  She responded "No, I haven't."  Hey, I'd help if she were 3000 miles closer...

Target Greeter Girl #9 : The Best Laid Plans... by themushroom 7-26-07

In the July 25 issue of the Virginia Daily Press there was an article titled "Had sex? State wants to know." The article was about the rights of unwed baby-daddies. URL is http://www.dailypress. com/news/dp-91164sy0jul25, 0,228333.story Going by the title alone, though, one would think this was a Big Brother variety registry for anyone that's done the dance. I wouldn't be on that list anyway, or not with another human. *sigh* TGG was turning 24 soon and somehow got through community college intact. Such a registry intregued her, if it existed, because she'd know who to call for help. ...Google search- able, make a White Pages style book, use a five-star rating system...

 

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Say something cryptic then leave snickering.