It's a Regrettable Life by faggot 3-02-08

Oh, how I hate my life...sometimes I wish I had never been born. Jon, I am your Guardian Angel. And you're here to show me what the world would be like if I had never been born? No, I'm here to tell you to look out for that car. Uh oh.

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asssss

This is not a fabrication

This is what I would do if I had one day to live by faggot 3-02-08

So after masturbating furiously to all the child porn on my hard drive, I broke your girlfriend's femur bones with an axe and raped her and killed her. Then I realized that I needed to dispose of the body so I went into a McDonald's and forced the fry cooks to cook her into burgers. Then I drove all the way here, shot your mom, and slit your dog's throat.

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asssss

The fry-cook in a McDonald's would not be handling the grill (where the hamburgers would be cooked.) That is my only objection to the strip.

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what happened to my rustic monologue? ...i'm not sleeping with that producer again

theburninator

Uh oh :(

Stupid Fucking Asshole Man by faggot 3-02-08

Man, I've been lost in the desert for days. I wish someone would come and rescue me...I need water. Actually, if you were lost for DAYS, which implies a few more days than two or three, you'd be dead from the lack of water. Wow, you're a stupid fucking asshole.

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asssss

Stupid Fucking Asshole Man by faggot 3-02-08

It's pitch black outside. A perfect night for a perfect break-in! Actually, I can see quite clearly from here that it's still the middle of the day. Go fuck yourself. Wow, you're a stupid fucking asshole. Can I have your mask?

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asssss

Stupid Fucking Asshole Man by faggot 3-02-08

*Sniff* I can't believe I have AIDS. I'm only ten. Why did Mom have to rape me? I have a little joke that'll cheer you up. It goes like this: If I ever had AIDS, I'd try to stay POSITIVE. You're a stupid fucking asshole. I know right.

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asssss

i'm still waiting....

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Kill Whitey.

I thought the first two were quite good... and so was the first Stupid Fucking Asshole man.  Alas, I don't think that character can be turned into a series; the rest of them were pretty boring.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

not_Scyess

thanks, i've really been appreciating your input. if anyone has any tips on what not to do as a general rule, i'd appreciate it!!

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asssss

This happened. by faggot 3-03-08

OK sis, I gotta watch you for an hour. What do ye wanna do? Watch TV??? Fair enough. Where's the remote? It's in your fucking face.

yes, this happened. she's 4.

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asssss

Does the silent last panel mean you lost an insult battle to a 4 year old?

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

not_Scyess

stunned silence, but it's pretty likely that i would lose an insult battle to a 4 year old.

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asssss