how I wonder what you are

somethin' somethin' rhymes with are

like a diamond in the sky

twinkle,twinkle little star

Asian people started sars.

I'm really tired.. by Jarhead 3-23-08

Fuck you, Mr.Anti-smoker! Cancer is no reason to discriminate against us! How dare you keep us down, you vitenam-hating-commie-nigger! Why don't you try a better method to reach us than blatant insults? 420, brother! 420! Butt out.

Neighborhood Hijinks by Jarhead 3-23-08

So when she was sleeping I used the wire hanger on her as fast as I possibly could.. 10 minutes in the conversation Then the fetus started fighting back so I had to kick it around for a while and... ..thats why I couldn't bring back your weedwhacker on time..

A bond is formed by Jarhead 3-23-08

Hey...uhhh,Abe... Gots a question for ya! Yeah? Want to have oral and/or anal sexual relations with me in Mexico in front of a crowd of of 30 people as they throw pesos at us? Okay, Lets do it! All right, lets go!

Devil wears prada by Jarhead 3-23-08

Go Away.

Pedophilia Descrimination by Jarhead 3-23-08

Come over here so I can skull-fuck you with a strap on. MEOW! Oh sexxy, you get me so wet... cum here and we can share our juices in 69 formation!!!!!! OMG, Here I cum!! Ho-ho, Entrapped! Chris Hansen, Damn you!

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http://mauston.deviantart.com/gallery/ Show me sum respect,nigga.

I think Chris Hansen is a funny person to reference.

I, on the other hand, have never heard of Chris Hansen, so I didn't like your comic at all.

In fact, I hated all of them, except Hijinks, which was pretty good.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

That's the one I would pick to submit to Reader's Digest.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Well...I made more...

If this story doesn't make your heart melt then nothing will.

I Heart Microsoft by Jarhead 3-23-08

Welcome to Microsoft Office! Do you desire my assistance? Oh, Clippy, always helping me when in need.. I wish you were real so we could be best friends! Dude... I'm just a fucking piece of code that helps the world with grammer..

I Heart Microsoft Again by Jarhead 3-23-08

I shall free you from your internal tomb, Clippy! I enjoy it in here... I mean I was programmed to be here afterall. ESCAPE! What the?? Shit, it work, ain't that sumthin'? You mean Isn't that something.

I Sometimes Heart Microsoft by Jarhead 3-23-08

What do you want to do now, friend? Video games? Tag? Spin the bottle? LETS GO CORRECT PEOPLE'S GRAMMER!! :D What have I released upon this realm? Ha-Ha! Oh, friend, come quickly! This man used a verb as an adjective!!

I heart Microsoft even when he cheats by Jarhead 3-23-08

I'm sorry but we have to find a better thing to do together than correct people's grammer, Clippy. How about a board game? Okay, what game? Later on.. Ho-ho, thats the 40th time I won Scrabble!! Can we play Hungry, Hungry Hippos now?

I heart microsoft to the very end by Jarhead 3-23-08

Clippy, this is just not working out.. Well, you released me so I'm your responsibility. I know so I found you a new home where you can be happy? Ho-hum! Where at? I AM HAVING A PAPER CLIP ORGASM!!

 

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http://mauston.deviantart.com/gallery/ Show me sum respect,nigga.

Any other questions? by Jarhead 3-23-08

Then you do a 60 degree circle like so.. Then a straight forward oval..around the width of 6 inches and attach it to the two circles you previously did..add a smaller degree circle on top of the long oval.. and thats how you draw my penis, Timmy. Any other questions?

Thats all for now. I'm going to go play with my legos.

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http://mauston.deviantart.com/gallery/ Show me sum respect,nigga.

The paperclip story was enjoyable.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Yes, and the penis-drawing one was good, too.  The only thing:

You could correct people's spelling instead of their grammar.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Jarhead

Also, Clippy would never have ended a sentence with a preposition. But, otherwise, that series wasn't too bad.

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what happened to my rustic monologue? ...i'm not sleeping with that producer again

not_Scyess

You could correct people's spelling instead of their grammar.

Are you suggesting I suck at speling?

Also:

Zombiewall2 by Jarhead 3-24-08

You don't look like a zombie wall.. Come closer.. Okay.. If I had a mouth, you would be brainless at this moment. I see..

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http://mauston.deviantart.com/gallery/ Show me sum respect,nigga.

Praxus just exploded.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.