I offer you the same advice as I have others that have preceeded you who also take very old jokes that aren't very funny and make them into comics that are not in the slightest funny.
Do you want to be funny? Next time try this instead:
(1)Tie one end of a string to your nut sack.
(2)Tie the other end of the string to a Saint Bernard.
(3)Lob meatballs down a steep hill.
Now that would crack me up.
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Shovel Ready