Is anyone out there on fire? 'Cause if so, I just want to say that you get no sympathy from me. If TV and video games have taught me anything, it's that people usually end up on fire for a good reason. And anyway, whatever happened to "stop, drop, and roll"? Too much like work? If you can't be bothered to put forth that much effort to better your situation, then I'm not shedding any tears. Plus, you people smell bad. I'd love for someone who is on fire to post here and dispute these points, but they're probably too busy making inarticulate noises and stupid faces like the spaz-tards they are.
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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.