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pinkyswear
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

I got an account here on Stripcreator only a few days ago even though I was actually introduced more than three years ago.  In those years of which I was aware of this website I've discovered that it attracts a very, for lack of a better word, interesting crowd.  Now I am curious as to how this crowd will take in my inadvanced humor.

Haha, ok, that's not actually how I speak.  It was just for a good first impression.  But the facts are all true.

Here's a taste of my style:

[Click to view comic: 'Friday Night Decisions'] 

[Click to view comic: 'A Day in the Life of Death']

[Click to view comic: 'Magic Fabric'] 

[Click to view comic: 'Grueling Competition'] 

Dialogue-Free:

[Click to view comic: 'Upheaval'] 

Please advise. 

8-13-09 5:11pm (new)
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Injokester
Definitely drunk

Member Rated:

Friday Night Pizza: I can see what you were going for, but it kinda bombed. Would have worked well with a really suspenseful setting that implies a life changing decision.
Spinning in Death's Chair: This one I liked, though the execution could be better. The robot makes no sense, and the title is too obvious (same with the first strip for that matter).
The Magic of Fabric: Also liked this one, the characters work in well with the joke. I'd have left out the ", ok?" at the end though to make things more definite, but your call.
Fatter, Too: Pretty sure I've seen this joke before, possibly even made it myself (or at least something very similar).
It's Not Fair To The Other Reindeer: This also feels like an old joke.
Speed is Everything: Excellent strip, well delivered, doesn't waste words and a solid gag.
This Trash Can Only Holds One: This one is so ludicrous it made me laugh pretty hard :)
Your Time is Up: Pretty meh.
It's Coming: Another gem, using different poses on Melvin gives the impression he's literally making an effort to grow a beard, that's what sold it for me :)

Overall a very decent start - don't be discouraged that some of these didn't land - writing humour takes practice to get right. Some good ones in there too, showing some definite potential. Keep it up :)

---
Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

8-13-09 9:39pm (new)
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attitudechicka
is never bored.

Member Rated:

Friday Night Pizza: I agree with InJokester on this one. I also wouldn't have titled it "Friday Night Pizza" as it kind of ruins the punchline.
Spinning in Death's Chair: I giggled a little.
The Magic of Fabric: Even with InJokester's suggestion, I still would not find this funny. Different strokes, I suppose.
Fatter, Too: I also do not find this funny.
It's Not Fair To The Other Reindeer: I agree with Injokester - changing poses are often over used. Even by me.

In general (I was going to say "overall", but I feel like InJokester's parrot right now), I look forward to more strips from you and quite enjoy your style.

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

8-14-09 6:22am (new)
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pinkyswear
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Thanks for the critiques, guys.  I appreciate the tips(:

Friday Night Pizza: I really liked the idea of having it take place in a more suspenseful setting.  Thanks.

Spinning in Death's Chair: The robot was supposed to be the reaper's minion, but I guess I sort of screwed that impression up. I should've written "I wonder what the boss is doing in there..." instead. 

The Magic of Fabric: I didn't do so well on the wording.

Fatter, Too: Don't recall having seen this joke recently, but I might've run across it earlier on.  I'll try to avoid these situations.

It's Not Fair to the Other Reindeer: This one was done more on impulse, and I don't think I did such a good job either.

There's not much to reply to for the other ones, but thanks for telling me why you liked a comic rather than just saying it was good(:

I'll use better titles next time, too.

8-14-09 7:41am (new)
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pinkyswear
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Here's a new one.  What do you guys think?

[Click to view comic: 'you should have seen the other guy']

8-14-09 9:46am (new)
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evil_d
Riding through your town with his head on fire

Member Rated:

pinkyswear

But still, why does the reaper have a robot for a minion? 

I don't understand what's going on in "It's Not Fair..." (or maybe I do, but I don't see how the title's relevant) or in "Just an Everyday Quarrel".

My favorites were "This Trash Can..." (more silly than funny, but that's not a bad thing) and "It's Coming!"

You seem like the sort of person who thinks before he types, and lord knows we always need more of that.  Welcome aboard. 

---
The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

8-14-09 10:45am (new)
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pinkyswear
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Well, I couldn't exactly pick which character would stand outside the reaper's door, and it somehow ended up being the robot.

For the "It's Not Fair to the Other Reindeer" comic, Rudolph is the only one with a red nose, so I just assumed that's how the title would relate to the comic...

I don't blame you for not understanding the "Everyday Quarrel" comic.  I think I just did bad on the executioning.  The surgeon in the last panel  is not the same surgeon that was speaking to Melvin.  He's the one that the surgeon in the first and second panel was referring to when he said "You should've seen the other guy."  I hope that clears things up.  Sorry.

 

8-14-09 12:09pm (new)
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pinkyswear
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

[ Posted comic does not exist ]

Some way to improve?

8-14-09 1:46pm (new)
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FactoryRejects
Esoterrorist

Member Rated:

That new one is okay for cute, g-rated humor.  I think you should've used the title as the punchline though; having the little girl ask the Amish guy if she can go pee.

---
Battlefield Mirth

8-14-09 2:52pm (new)
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pinkyswear
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Hmm yeah, I guess that would've been better.

How about this one?

[ Posted comic does not exist ]

8-14-09 3:17pm (new)
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pinkyswear
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

[ Posted comic does not exist ]

8-16-09 3:26pm (new)
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xxausrottenxx
Sock of the walk

Member Rated:

ha!

---
xx( o Y o. )xx

8-16-09 4:29pm (new)
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pinkyswear
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

8-16-09 6:43pm (new)
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AngryAmerican
Here at least 3 times a year

Member Rated:

Some of the humor seems to fall into the Family Circus-style 'aww, that's cute' category, which sickens me.

I'm an adult, which means I prefer R rated stuff.

If you want your light to be seen, you have to take it into dark places.

---
Kill Whitey.

8-18-09 1:42pm (new)
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Scyess
Official Traveling Menstrual

Member Rated:

Solipsism, eh?

---
"Old" is the old new.

8-19-09 12:07pm (new)
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pinkyswear
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

AngryAmerican - I'll try to avoid that from now on.

Scyess - Loved it.  Especially the last one.

8-19-09 3:49pm (new)
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pinkyswear
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

8-19-09 4:43pm (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

The reaper one is funnier WITH the robot. 

With the robot not saying ANYTHING. 

That's my advice.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

8-20-09 12:36pm (new)
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Injokester
Definitely drunk

Member Rated:

biped

Heh, that could actually work. Granted it's pretty random and I'm a hell random mood, so dunno how well it'd land.

Personally I'd have replaced the robot with Jesus saying something like "Dad? Dad can I come in? I know you're busy with universes to create and all, but I need to talk to you about something important. Dad?" And then had God inside instead of the reaper.

---
Dinosaurs had eggs bro, the chicken came way later.

8-20-09 5:47pm (new)
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pinkyswear
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Ha!  I like both of those ideas!  Thanks for the tips(:

8-20-09 7:29pm (new)
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