What to call it on your resume by evil_d 10-21-09

"Sustenance facilitator" You can supersize that for just 49¢ more. "Livestock end-of-life counselor" Hold still, Belinda! Squirming is only gonna make it hurt worse! "Valuables storage advisor" You'll put your wallet and jewelry in the bag quickly and quietly if you know what's good for you.

 

What to call it on your resume, continued by evil_d 10-22-09

"Film industry customer relations" If you guys won't be quiet, I'll have to come back with my manager. "Foreign citizen viability adjustor" "Director of electronic entertainment" Reload!! RELOAD!! DIE, YOU STUPID MUTANT!!!

 

What to call it on your resume, medieval edition by evil_d 10-21-09

"Municipality protection services" You'll no longer trouble the fair folk of... uh... crap, please don't eat me! "Senior species adjustor" Let's see you try to seduce farmgirls looking like that! "Public opinion supervisor" Should have gone along with me on the Anglicanism thing, Tom.

  

More what to call it on your resume by evil_d 10-22-09

"Wildlife control volunteer" I was hoping for some venison, but you'll do. "Juvenile happiness provider" Who wants a balloon animal? "Juvenile happiness adjustor" Who wants to see the back of an ice cream truck?

This was inspired by this post about a guy who, among other self-important things, refers to himself as a "part time employee in the financial services industry", which I assume is code for "bank teller".

I encourage you to join in and post your own comics about pretentious job titles.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

sucrose layering by FactoryRejects 10-26-09

Long-Distance Guilt Provider For only pennies a day... Reality Show Host ...leaving four dead, and eight in critical condition. Geneticist You sure do have a purdy mouth, Bessie.

I'm not sure which is worse in that blog, the kid trying to replace his mother for $12/hour or the collective wasted time of the people throwing a fit about it.

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Battlefield Mirth