The Can Man Can by Commander_t 10-27-09

Wh-what is this place? You're not Confucius-! I'm not the one that's confused, pal. Take a look around you? What is this place? Oh, uh, I know! That mountain! That's my home! There's Pedro my neighbor! Wait! What's he doing to my wife? NO!! Oh no, no, no!! Trouble in paradise, eh? Look at me. I'm a man in a can with no worries around me. I'm a man with a plan. My plans always work! Stop drop and roll! Or are you still confused?!

---
"It's like a Koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!" Capt. Murphy, SeaLab 2021

While the Confucious/confused thing is lame, at least it didn't have some sorry-ass jokey ha-ha punchline.

If you could expand this to an 18-part series where one character cathes fire/self-emolates for an unspecified reason in each episode, I think you'd be on to something.

---
Ham-fisted ham fisting.

The Can Man Can by Commander_t 10-29-09

I gotta take out the trash. Hold up there, super Mario. You can't throw me away. I'm the Can Man, the man in the can. You're like Wario. You're evil, crazy and hopped up on the crack. Firstly, I'm wearing my overalls today, I don't have crack issues. Secondly, my name isn't Mario, it's Melvin. Thirdly, you're the crazy, sittin in the trash can. Dude, that's crazy talk. No, that's not. You obviously haven't seen me on crack. I make crazy look sane.

---
"It's like a Koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!" Capt. Murphy, SeaLab 2021