Logarn by biped 3-11-10

"Bad Ass Killa" Coleman has struck again. Looks like there's only one man who can handle this. You don't mean...? Yes. This is a job for...Logarn. NO!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!! Uh-oh... somebody must've said that something was a job for Logarn again.

Logarn 2 by biped 3-11-10

Terwilliger, you'll be the department's field liason with Logarn on this. I'll blow you twice a day for six weeks if you'll get somebody else, Lieutentant. Err...you can't even begin to imagine how totally unappealing that is to me, Bill. How about my wife? She diddles a mean ding-dong. Nope. Sorry, Bill. Fuck.

Logarn 3 by biped 3-11-10

Well, Logarn's here, Bill. Bill? Sir, Sergeant Terwilliger just jumped off the roof and crashed through an ice cream truck. An ice cream truck? Damn it. Who's next on the list for Logarn? You are, sir. Oh. Well...I'm giving you a field promotion and resigning. Good luck, Lieutentant. Wha--FUCK YOU!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Logarn 4 by biped 3-11-10

Is there a problem? N-No problem, Mr. L-Logarn. They're just trying to find someone who... who... (tremble) Look, I didn't come here to "fiddle" around, Lieutenant. Now "man up" and let's hit the street. Err...uhh...I QUIT!!! Sir, the entire department just resigned. Also, the police chief and the mayor are both missing. Well, for Pete's sake.

Logarn 5 by biped 3-11-10

DeWayne, find "Bad Ass Killa" Coleman and tell him to report to my fucking ass pronto or I'll rip both your dicks off. Y-Yes sir, Mr. Logarn. Terwilliger, if I catch you jumping through any more fucking ice cream trucks on the department's time, I'll rip your dick off. I will...I mean, I won't, I...yes, sir. I just tracked down the police chief and the mayor and ripped both their fucking dicks off. Any questions, Lieutenant? N-No, sir.

Logarn -- epilogue by biped 3-11-10

I'm not doing anything tonight if...if you want to, uhh, use and degrade-- No, I'm going fishing. Wha--LOGARN!!! Tell the rest of the fish they'd better start biting pronto or I'll rip their fucking dicks off. Oh, my...how in the world did you catch so many fish, Skippy? Oh, I used my, uhh..."lucky pole", Granny. (wink)

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.