1. Do you like blue cheese?
In Buffalo NY, "blue cheese" is the mortar that holds together our own special version of the Food Pyramid.
2. Have you ever smoked?
Boy, did I ever. I quit cold turkey mid-cigarette last November, and have been aggrivating my friends ever since.
3. Do you own a gun?
Not unless the Wii Zapper accessory in my living room or the Uzi under my bed count.
4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite?
Ecto Cooler. Yes, I know it was a Hi-C flavor, but I lived in an area that only had Wyler's and that stuff was garbage. By the time I had real Kool-Aid Brand Tap Water Tolerance Assisting Powder, I was pretty much just fine with tap water.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Yes, pretty much for the same reason I'd get nervous before a "dine-and-dash".
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
The juice from a hot dog packet bonds chemically with anything it touches, causing said object to reek of subatomic particles that mop molecule-sized floors and dream of someday being meat.
7. Favorite Christmas movie?
I have to go with "Santa With Muscles" on this one.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Perrier and coffee
9. Can you do push ups?
I can do "push up". Only one. Any more than that and my tongue swells and I feel like yuck. Wait, we are talking about frozen treats, right?
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
The WWE World Heavyweight Championship Belt.
11. Favorite hobby?
I do enjoy me some video games, that's for sure.
12. Do you have A.D.D.?
Damn straight. Screw 3.0 D&D rules. THAC0 or GTF0!
13. Do you wear glasses/contacts?
Damn, can't think of a good pun here. Kaufman could, I bet. He's good at that sort of thing. You could even say he's at the very "punnacle" of it.
14. Middle name?
Mann
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1. They can call it "character creation", but honestly, the characters in Dragonquest IX all come out looking like Precious Moments figurines dressed up as Goku for Halloween.
2. There is absolutely nothing else in my cubicle worth mentioning.
3. Crap its my boss MINIMIZE whew false alarm.
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Perrier, coffee and tap water, which you'd know if you've been reading my answers.
17. Current worry?
I live in constant worry that our government is taking its sweet time in discovering the hidden location of The Noid, who could come out of hiding at any time and ruin my delicious pizza. Also, oil, terrorists, and 2012, but mostly that little red bunny-eared bastard.
18. Current hate right now?
That smug little weiner that got promoted after only 4 months when I've been in this company for two years, my skills going unrecognized, my hard work all for OH SHIT BOSS MINIMIZE whew, another false alarm, anyways yeah, fuck that guy and the grindstone he nosed in on.
19. Favorite place to be?
Right here, right now
20. How did you bring in the new year?
I don't remember, so I can only assume it was good.
21. Where would you like to go?
1991, so I can invent Facebook.
22. Name three people who will complete this?
How about I tell you instead that there's ione person that won't complete this question:
Me!
23. Do you own slippers?
I have these Chinese footie things that might be classified as slippers, but I dunno if that's what they really are.
24. What shirt are you wearing?
My "Milk & Cheese" bowling shirt, emblazoned with the words "STRIKE HARD! SPARE NOBODY!"
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Can't say that I have. I'll guess that the answer is no. Satin sheets sounds like I'd be laying awake, worried about what Elton John was going to do when he caught me in his tent.
26. Can you whistle?
I can, but I am abstaining from whistling as a way of protesting the Gulf Oil Spill.
27. Favorite color?
Ecto Cooler
28. Would you be a pirate?
If you could only see my muttonchops, you would know the answer immediately.
29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
There's a song by a band called Ookla The Mok called "Super Skrull". It's about 80 seconds long, and I use it Hudson Hawk style to time my shower.
30. Favorite Girl's Name?
Sakura (which is what we're naming my daughter when she's born next month)
31. Favorite boy's name?
Solomon (which is what I was going to name my daughter before she had the audacity to stop being a boy)
32. What's in your pocket right now?
My Pokewalker, currently occupied by a Machamp.
33. Last thing that made you laugh?
Stripcreator.com
34. What vehicle do you drive?
A pair of Sketchers.
35. Worst injury you've ever had?
Back when I was learning how to wrestle, the guy who was training me decided to show me how to take a super-plex. What we both failed to realize was that we were in a boxing ring. It was about a week before I could walk without assistance again.
36. Do you love where you live?
Very much so!
37. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Three. Two of them were found on street corners.
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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."
