A Nation's Panic by biped 3-01-12

Mr. President, the nation is being attacked by giant crabs. Hmm...by "the nation", do you mean the United States of America? Yes, sir. And by "giant crabs", do you mean, umm, giant crabs? By "seek shelter from the giant crabs", does the President mean for us to stay away from them? And by "giant", does he mean abnormally large? The crabs, I mean.

A Nation's Panic Continues by biped 3-01-12

Mr. President, the giant crabs are out of control. By "out of control", do you mean that the giant crabs can no longer be controlled? Some giant crabs just devoured Mom and Dad. By "devoured", do you mean "ate"? The past tense of the verb "eaten", that is. Not the number "eight." OMIGOD, THE GIANT CRABS ARE ABOUT TO KILL US!!! By "us", do you mean you and me? Or you and somebody else?

A Nation's Panic Ends by biped 3-01-12

Thanks to our new weapon, the giant crabs have been destroyed. By "new", does he mean newly developed? Or newly constructed? The death toll...is catastrophic. By "catastrophic", are you referring to the number of deaths? Or the toll itself? I hope the kids can get along without us. You mean our kids? Or kids in general?

A Nation's Panic: Curtain Call (1) by biped 3-01-12

I'm Max Showalter, and I played "The President's Advisor." I'm Brad Schwartz, and I played "The President." I'm PFC Douglas H. "Doug" Crenshaw, and I played "The Soldier." I'm Mrs. Opal Hudson, and I played "Old Woman Watching Television." I'm Skip Thompson, and I played "Terrified Bystander #1." I'm Taquito, the Infallible Gaydar Matador, and I played "Terrified Bystander #2."

A Nation's Panic: Curtain Call (2) by biped 3-01-12

I'm Tim Dimstead, and I played myself as "News Anchorman." I'm Sally Patterson, and I played myself as "News Anchorwoman." I'm Billy Flonase, and I played myself as "Billy." I'm Sally Flonase, and I played myself as "Sally." I'm Edna Flonase, and I played myself as "Mom." I'm Ed Flonase, and I played with myself--I mean, played with--can I do mine over?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

A Nation's Panic: Curtain Call (Do Over)

I'm Ed Flonase, and I played myself as "Dad."

by biped, 3-01-12

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I not only like this, I like like it.

The only way your comment could make me feel any better would be if it came with a free catfish dinner.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Hush puppies!

Yes, I'm talking the full meal deal here--hush puppies, mashed potatoes and gravy, cole slaw, and rolls.  With at least five or six big pieces of catfish. 

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.