Hello,

Somebody must have said my name three times into a mirror for I have been dragged violently from Stripcreator's past and emerged, blinking, into this strange and disturbing future we call 2012.

So for this contest, one of the characters must be an historical figure who has somehow found him/herself in the present day.

You know, like this one:

CC561: Black to the Future by kramer_vs_kramer 7-28-12

"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. " Dr King! Your dream has come true! We've now got a black president, and we're even allowing gay people to get married! Hold on- there weren't any gays in my dream. Well, there was one- but I'm hardly going to make speeches about that.

RCL no. 3078 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 7-28-12

Say, aren't you King Lear from that famous Shakespearean play? You are correct, my good man... That's so ironic! What is? You're King Lear, and King Queer! What's a queer?

History One-Oh-Hunh? by Fiscalchaos 7-29-12

It is an honor to have you speak to our College students Mr. Revere. Perhaps you could give us your own personal account of your famous "Midnight Ride." The honor is mine... Although I am suprised that tale has endured for more than 200 years. While the women were at Betsy Ross' sewing circle, George, Ben and I... Along with a few serving wenches from the Iron Rooster... were at Ol' Tom Jefferson's house getting randy...... .... When our Flagons began running dry... I had decided to run home and fetch a couple more casks of Ale... when I spied the women leaving Miss Ross' house early... Umm... Sir... I'm sure this is a fine tale... But I was refering to when your rode through the streets to warn the Minutemen, crying, "The Brittish are coming." Actually, what I was saying was... "The Bitches are coming!" ....But if your version works for you...

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It's all in your head!

To save someone else the embarassment of posting the obvious reply.

History One-Oh-Hunh? by Fiscalchaos 7-29-12

So that's where we stand today Mr. Lincoln. So it took 100 years to come up with a Civil Rights Act... But now you have a Negro President Actually, Sir, we no longer refer to them as Negroes... The prefered term is "African-Americans" Yes, I see... That does have a much more pleasant tone. So... Wanna go see a show? I'll Pass... Theaters make me nervous.

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It's all in your head!

Finger Lickin' Good by four_legged_tripod 7-29-12

I'm here with the return of Colonel Sanders. Good to be here. Recently the President of Chick-Fil-A spoke out against gay marriage. Where do you stand? Hell, I say anything goes. In fact, it's a little known secret that the "F" in KFC stands for "Fucks". Martha, I just had the most horrible dream! Sanders was back and hornier than ever. I just saw the news. No time to talk. Pack your shit Marvin, we gotta get outta here!

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

cc561 by mandingo 7-29-12

hey, John. yo, Steve. got a little surprise for you. remember that little girl you killed when you were drunk driving? i brought her back to life. here, look. what the fuck! no, i don't want to see... HOLY SHIT!!! STEEEEEEEVE! WHYYYYY, STEVE??? i never touched a drop since. it took me 15 years to even drive again. i still go to therapy so i won't kill myself. you know all this, John. why would you do that? THAT'S THE FUCKING CONTEST, STEVE!

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what if nigger meant kite

God Hates Lincoln by four_legged_tripod 7-30-12

Ha! I've done it! I've brought Abraham Lincoln back to life! What year is it? To be precise, it's July 19th, 2012. Wow. So is there anything you would like to do? Well, the midnight screening of Batman sounds like fun.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Groovy! - If _______ were brought back to life by edoggydog 7-30-12

John F. Kennedy: My head hurts! Groovy! Kurt Cobain: MY HEAD HURTS!! Groovy! Abe Vigoda: Actually, I haven't died yet. Oh. Yeah.

CC561 - This site has history. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 7-31-12

Im telling you Wirthling, theres no reason to hide in there anymore. Billings is gone. I dont believe you. That fucker hounded me for years. Do you know how many "Wirthling Sucks" comics were made because of him? Last time I looked, around 1293. ... But there are 1294 comics about Crabby. I DO NOT SUCK DICK!

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

CC561 - Yes, its 59 years you Pedant! by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 7-31-12

Well my reanimation formula was a success. Welcome to 2012 Mr Tesla This is society 60 years after I died? How have you used the gifts I gave you? Well .... Alternating Current , Radio Waves , Radar , X-Rays , Cryogenic Storage , Transistors , Reasonating Frequency? We Froze Walt Disney, and we used the rest to build bigger bombs and shit. So Crapitalism still rules the world then. Fucksocks.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Biff in: "Appointment With History" by biped 8-01-12

So you're the famous George Washington Carver, eh? I hope you don't mind me bringing you into what is, to you, "the future." Why? Why did you summon me here, only to chain me to this wall...when there is yet so much for me to do? Because I want to good-naturedly "roast" you in song-parody form, and for you to be my New Dad. Now, say "take it away, Biff-meister." Take...take it away, B-Biff-meister. You dork, you dork, your blunders abound. Your bra is up and your panties are down. The peanuts all hide when you're strollin' around.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Judging tomorrow- so get your entries in!

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

Good work folk! 

The winner is four_legged_tripod with this one:

God Hates Lincoln by four_legged_tripod 7-30-12

Ha! I've done it! I've brought Abraham Lincoln back to life! What year is it? To be precise, it's July 19th, 2012. Wow. So is there anything you would like to do? Well, the midnight screening of Batman sounds like fun.

Congratulations!

Well thank you very much. I will try to have something up soon.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke