Topical : Check

Satirical : Check

Liberal : Possibly

Whilst its fresh in our minds, and since we should definetely be trending on Twitter or something.

Your Comic Contest : #CharlestonShootings.

Topic is as broad as you want it to be. I want to know why he did it, who he is, why the fuck the South has so many guns, so much hatred, and so much religion, and why nobody at any point has ever thought "You know what, that's a combination thats going to end up with people getting killed".

Bonus Points awarded for including : The KKK , The NRA , President Obama, Charlton Heston, Naked Greased Up Deaf Guy, that guy in every news report who says he knew the kid "And he was a bit weird" , The Ghost of Melissa Joan Hart's career, and Elvis.

If you cannot make a funny joke in 3 panels out of that guestlist and subject matter, seriously, you're probably not cut out for this site.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

I didn't make it for the contest, but it seems to loosely work (that's what she said...)

Planet WTF: Learn when to stop beating a rotting horse by brycekain 6-19-15

It's not racist! I'm promoting southern pride! It's not racist! I'm promoting southern pride! Ever notice that only white people say this? It's not racist! I'm... FUCKIN' DEAD, CRACKER!

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

Groovy! - TRUE Irony Theater by edoggydog 6-19-15

...and that's how I discovered anthrax is great for toe fungus! Groovy! Anyhoo... I see some dumb ass liberals are blaming the tragedy in Charlston on hate-filled Southern religion and gun ownership. How can they blame it on religion when the vicitms were the religious ones? And, doesn't Chicago have some of the strictest gun laws in America? Yes, and 1168 people have been shot this year alone in that northern liberal hell-hole... 99% were black-on-black crimes! If, those true facts weren't so sad, this panel would be funny!

RCL no. 4762 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 6-19-15

Why so down, Dragon? I just want to know why he did it, who he is, why the fuck the South has so many guns, so much hatred, and so much religion, and why nobody at any point has ever thought- Whoa, dude... You're starting to depress me now! The worst part is we have only one more panel to be funny, or they're going to ask us to leave this site! Road house? ROAD HOUSE!!

CC614: Charleston Chew by evil_d 6-19-15

You've raped our women, you're taking over the country, and you have to go! I didn't do any of those things. Well, somebody's raped our women, is taking over the country, and has to go. But you don't really care who? I guess not. Then let's get Simon Cowell for it. I just hate that guy's face.

CC614: Charleston Chew 2 by evil_d 6-19-15

You've raped our women, you're taking over the country, and you have to go! Shit man, I didn't know. You should have told me which women were yours. Wrote your name on them or something. Well... I mean... I'm talking about white women. White women are mine. You one hell of a player, son.

CC614: Charleston Toodle-oo by evil_d 6-19-15

You've raped our women, you're taking over the country, and you have to go! That's a good speech. Who is it? Sitting Bull? What? Chief Sitting Bull. Did he say that to your ancestors at the Battle of the Little Bighorn? I—no! Look, this is white people's country now! And it'd be wrong if someone tried to take it over, right?

CC614: Get a Charleston Clue by evil_d 6-19-15

You've raped our women, you... well, I guess you haven't done that. Now don't jump to conclusions, young man! It so happens that I am a lesbian! Oh. Are you taking over the country? Do I look like Oprah? I'm a second shift manager at Applebee's. I'm just going to move on.

CC614: Charleston PD Blue by evil_d 6-19-15

You've raped our women, you're taking over the country, and you have to go! Wait! I have an excuse! I thought I was too famous to be punished! Save it for the judge, Cosby.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

CC614: Charleston Cuckoo by evil_d 6-19-15

I'd like to buy a gun. What are you going to use it for? What? It's none of your business! This is a free country! I don't make the law. I got a form to fill out. You don't answer the questions, you don't get a gun. Fine. It's for a mass shooting. I've got boxes for school, office, church, and mall.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Even tho the preceding comics are funnier, I had to put my 2 cents in anyway!

Don't sell yourself short, ragu; I thought that was a good one.

CC614: Charleston Whoop-de-do by evil_d 6-20-15

I want to buy a gun, please. What will you be using it for? I just want to hold it so it'll make me feel safe. In that case, you can save some money with our "Big Man" special. What's that? That's where we don't bother to sell you any ammo.

CC614: Charleston Through and Through by evil_d 6-20-15

I need a gun. What will you be using it for? Shootin' possums and skunks for dinner. Okay, you're cleared. Ain't there some kind of waiting period? No, the law says making you admit to that is enough.

CC614: Charleston Through and Through part 2

Wait a minute... that last guy's license said he was from New York City.

by evil_d, 6-20-15

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Really enjoying the entries so far. 

But only 1 of the "Bonus" characters mentioned has been included so far. That's gonna hurt your chances of winning guys.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

CC614: A Fine Charleston How-do-you-do by evil_d 6-21-15

Seems like everyone in town is coming in to buy a gun. That's why I came in, actually. Now that I have a gun, I'll be able to defend myself against any other nut who has one. Fucker was holding up the line with all that chatting. Six boxes of double-0 buck and make it snappy!

CC614: Charleston Grew by evil_d 6-21-15

It's great to see a young person such as yourself wearing the Confederate flag with pride. Nowadays too many people don't remember what it really stands for. I know. That's why I added the flags of Rhodesia and South Africa to make it unambiguous. Snazzy. But I don't recognize those other flags next to them. I made up some countries of my own to really drive the point home. Those are the flags of Ghettonesia and Ihateblacksistan.

CC614: Caught the Charleston Flu by evil_d 6-21-15

You know, I almost didn't go through with shooting all those people at the church because they were so nice to me. Why did you, then? I realized that I couldn't let that experience contradict what I'd learned through prayer and personal reflection. Are we still talking about the shooting? Because this sounds an awful lot like my sermon on evolution.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

CC614: Now with bonus words! by brycekain 6-21-15

"The KKK , The NRA , President Obama, Charlton Heston, Naked Greased Up Deaf Guy..." Oh, are you entering the CC614? No. Then what are you doing? Fucking up Evil D's flow.

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

brycekain: Bring it!

KKP: Here, don't say I never did nothin' for ya.

CC614: Room with a Charleston View by evil_d 6-21-15

Zombie Charlton Heston! What are you and your cold dead hands doing here? The NRA's necromancers summoned me to make sure nobody's Second Amendment rights are infringed as a result of the church shooting. Sounds great! Are you going to give us guns so we can defend ourselves if something like this happens again? What? I didn't rise from the grave to arm black people! You might as well take me back if that's what's going on!

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

9 Victims

9 Days of Comics

Voting will be after the 9th day

Sounds prophetic. It isnt. Im just busy till Thursday.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

CC614: Charleston Who's Who by evil_d 6-22-15

Letter for you, Ms. Winfrey. It says "You've raped our women, you're taking over the country, and you have to go. Yours truly, Dylann Roof." I've never heard of any Dylann Roof. I looked him up. Apparently he's some 21-year-old white guy from South Carolina. What? An adult white male? Pack my bags immediately! I hear Uruguay is nice. I hope they don't mind me raping their women and taking over the country.

 

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

3 Out of 8 by four_legged_tripod 6-22-15

So, as the next door neighbor, do you have any idea as to why he killed all those people? No idea. I knew the kid and he was a bit weird, but I totally would have targeted the Latter Day Saints. Now there's a bunch of coo-coos! Mr. President, any word on a possible motive for these shootings? Uh, no. We, uh, never had this sort of thing in Kenya. But if we did, we, uh, would have settled this the way our ancestors did. I am the ghost of Melissa Joan Hart's career. Holy shit! So this is the purpose of Obamacare!

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

CCharleston by HCRoyall 6-22-15

All right, everyone, our next dance is up by request! Everybody get ready to do the Charleston! You rape our women and you're taking over our country! That's as may be, Honky, but I meant the dance...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC614: Right on Charleston Cue by evil_d 6-23-15

You know you were just asking for trouble with this "Methodist Episcopal" thing, right? Mixing denominations always goes wrong! It's not really— Just look at Ireland or Jerusalem. Everybody knows you don't cross the streams! I believe I sent you a message to that effect. Wait, are you saying Ghostbusters was divinely inspired? Well, not the video games.

CC614: Charleston Stew by evil_d 6-23-15

I don't understand why everyone doesn't support segregation. Why wouldn't you want to live among your own people? En noshörning har ätit min handväska. Huh? You mean to tell me you're white but you don't even speak Swedish? I'm so disillusioned. Just because some white people speak Swedish doesn't mean all... hang on a minute. What else don't you do? Play tennis? Listen to Enya? Get skin cancer?

CC614: Charleston Fondue by evil_d 6-23-15

I mean, I could have done anything with my life. I could have been a chef! But if massacring those churchgoers was enough to start a race war, then it was worth it. Yeah, there's no race war. So many chickens unspatchcocked.

Get to work, slackers!

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

I'm kind of out in left field in following with the topic on this one.

Kangaroo Attack by Neo11 6-24-15

Hands above your head, now! But I can't, my hands are too small! Why are you doing this? Once I blast your head to dicareedoo, I'll be the king of this here zoo so stick em up! Seriously though, they are too short so I CAN'T! Just like you can't walk backwards. What? How on earth would you know that about me? Well, due to the short hands I also can't play with..... you know....down there. I've found reading to be the only alternative to occupy my mind

I think I need some bonus points.

CC614: Deja-Charleston-Vu by evil_d 6-24-15

Letter for you, Mr. Obama. It says, "You've raped our women, you're taking over the country, and you have to go. Lots of love, Dylann Roof." Well, I did take over the country for eight years, and I will have to go at the end of this term. But I never raped any white women! There's still time, you know. I'm the President of the United States! I have to uphold the dignity of the office! I'm just saying, if you're going to be accused of the crime anyway, you might as well have done it. Well... I suppose if we could "extrajudicially detain" that one chick in the press corps....

CC614: An Old Lady Who Lived in a Charleston Shoe by evil_d 6-24-15

I for one am proud of Dylann Roof! It's about time somebody listened to my advice. So you helped him plan the shooting? Well, not directly... but I'm sure he was familiar with my work. I've spent a lot of time on starting the race war.... Meaning you rant a lot on the internet. What can I say; I'm an idea man.

CC614: Stuck Together Like Charleston Glue by evil_d 6-24-15

Police are still trying to determine whether Dylann Roof may have had an accomplice who helped him plan the attack. In the pictures on his web site, Roof is always the sole subject, but he's never holding the camera. Did he use a tripod? Or was there a cameraman? Don't worry, they'll never make me talk.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Excellent, Excellent, Let the hate flow through you and into your comics my disciples.

You have done well. Your efforts have pleased me. Im now confident that when I die and inevitably go to hell for any one of a number of my comics, at least this CC's entrants are all coming with me.

But like Highlander, there can be only one. 

RCL , EdoggyDogg, Brycekain, you all did your very best, including trying to disrupt his flow, but our winner, by adopting a scattershot "Ill make tons of comics, one of them will be funny", and actually making quite a lot of them really funny, is Evil_D(ick)

There were various ones which really tickled me, but I couldnt seperate these two and since theyre both yours, you can win half the competition for each one.

 

CC614: Charleston PD Blue by evil_d 6-19-15

You've raped our women, you're taking over the country, and you have to go! Wait! I have an excuse! I thought I was too famous to be punished! Save it for the judge, Cosby.