.... daily newpaper (which isn't saying much).

Here are a few>

The missing spaceship by tweedbucket 1-27-05

Little Billy's Mom is upset with little Billy's crappy walmart spaceman suit because it came without a spaceship ..... Billy ! You are NOT going to school dressed that way unless you have a spaceship of some sort to fly to school in... Billy is zoning and was thinking about what he was going to do for a spaceship ........ DID YOU HEAR ME YOUNG MAN ??!! huh ? Billy changes into something more comfortable that doesn't require a spaceship ....... That's much better ....now GO before you are late.... huh?

Bad Ray guns by tweedbucket 1-28-05

Jimmy asks little Zakk for a smoke....... Hey dude, can I bum a smoke off you? no way, i don't smoke, ya big dummy!! ..ZAPP !!! ...little Zakk suddenly changes into a hidious ALIEN !!! ...whoa DUDE.... what's up w/ the costume thing ?? .... ....say nothing and hold still.... ... the calibration was obviously out on the ray gun ..... no one is too happy with the results.... ..wow man, what happened? ..... I don't know, something went wrong. Something went very, VERY wrong .....

The missing spaceship by tweedbucket 1-27-05

Little Billy's Mom is upset with little Billy's crappy walmart spaceman suit because it came without a spaceship ..... Billy ! You are NOT going to school dressed that way unless you have a spaceship of some sort to fly to school in... Billy is zoning and was thinking about what he was going to do for a spaceship ........ DID YOU HEAR ME YOUNG MAN ??!! huh ? Billy changes into something more comfortable that doesn't require a spaceship ....... That's much better ....now GO before you are late.... huh?

Another life down the drain... by tweedbucket 1-31-05

Mom feels bad that little Zookie is grounded to his room until 2009. So Zookie, what did you and your little friends on the Open Jam talk about yesterday ??? i dunno..? Little Zookie can't deal with Mom trying to pry classified Open Jam info. from him! Well, you must have chatted with SOMEONE since you wasted your whole day on there..... I said....I DON'T KNOWWWWWWW !!! Mom, gets pissed and let's Zooks have it one more time .... Well,...FINE ! I am going to ground you for another 6 months for yelling at me like that....now GO TO YOUR ROOM !! ha-ha .... ok! ...... they all think I am a Doctor over there.................ha!! HaH hHAHA ahH aaaa HAaa HaaAaa!!!

The Accident by tweedbucket 1-27-05

Uncle Pete is pretty upset over the traffic accident..... Hey son!! you are going to have to pay for side swiping my car like that!!!!! .... yeah, right on Daddy-o ..... Uncle Pete goes to court to talk to the Judge .... ...yeah Judge, and then after he hit the car, he started throwing all his beers out the window and into MY car......... say aren't you kind of young for a Judge?? Poor Uncle Pete gets what he deserves for going to small claims court ....... ??? why, no.... no I'm not. GUILTY AS CHARGED... DUI !! ..... 20 years in jail without the possibility of parole ...

---
Yeah, well, waddaya gonna do?

ya see how that works .... the one strip was so funny, it was worth reading twice!

 

Here is the latest > 

 

Into the Danger Zone by tweedbucket 3-11-19

Little Jimmy is heading outside to find a spaceship... Hey what do you think you're doing? I'm flyin to Mars because I ain't cleaning the dishes tonight Jimmy knows his bird is a snitch and will bust him first chance... Why don't you take me with you, I know a bit about flying ... Nah, you just wanna bust out and then you'll lead them right to me .... Little Jimmy is ready to blast off and then sees his stupid bird behind him. No, I thought I left my keys in here, that's all. HEY! are you following me????

 

... and they won't get any better, so you might as well laugh at this one. 

---
Yeah, well, waddaya gonna do?

Here are a few more.  I'm going to have to take off 2 to 10 years to gather more ideas unless something else accidently sputters up.  Thanks for reading this far.

 

The Adventures of Dr. Robert by tweedbucket 3-12-19

Dr. Robert is old school but trying to find info on this new interweb thing for his future book on the answers from anything to everything! Excuse me sir, can you tell me how to get to this interweb thing? it's in cyberspace and I've heard it's some magical place out there! Whad you call me? Dr. Robert was part of the original 'wheel' project but feels he is on to something here ... Sir! I am lost, I just got off a sinking Viking ship in from Outer Mongolia and discovered that this new information can save lives! Look man, are you following me? I don't talk to creeps, I'm gonna call the Fuzz on you. Dr. Robert did everything he can but fails once again... Ok, ok, can you at least tell me about something called WebCrawler? That is the key to the fountain of the knowledge of truth. Like Do0d! Get outta my house! I'm callin my Mom!!

Another Daily Newspaper Gut Buster by tweedbucket 3-12-19

Bart asks Dad a question that only Dads can answer... Hey Dad, have you noticed that the comics in the newspaper ain't funny anymore? Comics in a WHAT son? ... and why is your head so big? Bart gets sassy with pop and is about to get the belt! Comics in the newspaper man, c'mon..do I have to say everything twice to you, ya old crispy geezer?? LOOK! you DO NOT sass me boy!! where did you go? where did you go??? BART?????!?!11 Billy shows up and covers for Bart at the last minute... Hi Mr. Wrinklemyer, can Bart come out to play? Bart?? oh! Billy, can you help me think of a good punch line here? because it's critical sink or swim in this last frame...please!

So Lonely at the Top by tweedbucket 3-12-19

Excuse me my good man but can you go fetch my Rolls? MMMbzzzzT**8**** Absolutely, I'm in a bit of a hurry and quite sorry, I don't know where your mate parked it!?? ZZzzzBbtt***%^##ttFfffffFFtt Are we there yet? I just scuffed my $1.2 Million dollar Stuart Weitzman shoe. Where is the young man I dropped it off with? ggttTTZzbbXZzz##3*ffTT

One Day near the Mail Room by tweedbucket 3-12-19

Riffy gets a disturbing letter My girlfriend Cathy is quitting her comic strip. ahhh wadda... she don't think she is funny anymore? Riffy reads on ... exactly, there are these ppl on the internet funnier than she is and they are not even trying. Duuhh maybe she never was funny, did uhhh you finally tell her? Riffy just can't deal with it any longer yeah, I tried to but she torched my car and then forced my cat down the garbage disposal.... oh yeahhh I heard she thinks she's being funny by doing stuff like that, but she's really not...ahhhh not ahhhh ..... ahhh not funny.

Another Day at the Hospital by tweedbucket 3-11-19

Bob Bobblington is pretty upset over his brother getting accidently sawed in half Ok man, put em up! You killed my brother, now I'm going to kill you. I didn't have nuttin ta do wit it Jack, put down the gun or I'll... Bob is getting reeeeeallly upset and his trigger finger is getting reallly itchy Oh yeahhh You'll do WHAT??? You and WHAT ARMYY???? Well, you shoot me and then I can't give your brother his pain medication. You wouldn't want that, now would youuu?? Bob decides to let the Doc try and save his brother but after 6 hours, it's not looking any better... Look doc... DOC!! what is going on here?? I'm going to call the cops in a minute! Yeah, well call the cops, call the FBI, I'm a doctor and he wasn't taking his meds. Nothing else we could do.

 

 

---
Yeah, well, waddaya gonna do?

Whoops ... a straggler >> 

 

Loser on Planet #3 by tweedbucket 3-11-19

Fred Higgins starts his exciting fast paced, brand new job! Hello sir, I'm wondering if I could sell you a vacuum cleaner? uhh?? Fred doesn't see a gun or knife, so he feels compelled to continue... ahh yes sir, it's the new Wacker TURBO XL Plus and not only vacuums, but prints money tooo!! mmmm-my? mmm--mmeey? Fred has the momentum and was hoping to go in for the kill ... little did he know... Yes SIR, Money!! you can set it to print $1000 bills if you want and uhhmm ... what did you say? mmmoommm meee??? Mommmm mee???

---
Yeah, well, waddaya gonna do?

Burger Doggie Rules and RULES ALL ! ! !1111!! 

 

Another Day with Crazy Randy! by tweedbucket 3-13-19

Randy's best friend opens a new restaurant !! Hey Zphoton, how is business? Not so great, since Burger Doggie opened up across the street... I... I.... I yii yii ...I just don't know what to do...?? Randy moves on and then sees his absolute best friend Fimp... Hey Fimp, how is life treating you? Not so great since Burger Doggie cancelled all their mail and then fire bombed my mail truck and I might lose my job... Randy heads over to his favorite restaurant Burger Doggie for a burger and a shake but get's stopped by a cop. What's you're problem ya big stupid FUZZ face pig?? I'm taking you to jail for harrassing Zphoton Johnson, Fimp Smith and Burger Doggie in this comic. You have the RIGHT to remain silent, now walk BACKWARDS towards the sound of my voice!!!

---
Yeah, well, waddaya gonna do?