Ahhh.. finally. I was in training at my new job all day, but inside I was trying to figure out a theme for this contest. It's alot harder than it looks!

I'm probably going to be banned for winning anymore contests after this one... :) The resutls will be ... interesting I'm sure. Have fun.

The contest will close and be judged Friday at 4pm Eastern.

Here be the rules:

Comic Contest XIV: Rules - Haiku Time! by descolada99 3-21-01

Lowpass comic strips; Message board user contests; Keep me from working. Haiku makes me scream; All characters must speak in; Haiku form or else. Haiku form is this; Lines are based on syllables; Five seven then five. Try to break up lines; By using semicolons; between all the lines. There are no more rules; All characters are legal; As well as backgrounds. Except one last rule; Use any all your base jokes; And you will not win.

Yes, I am evil. :) Just be thankful I didn't use my first idea. It was worse (think: sing comic dialog to "Camptown Races" :)

good luck all.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

You know I had to do it, right?

Comic Contest XIV: Whether 'tis nobler... by bobo32 3-21-01

What my screen does say; The comics must be Haiku; Because someone sucks? Damnit, what you say!!; Someone set us up the bomb!; now I make my time. Winning is not all; besides, you know all your base; are belong to us!

You hate me, I know. I'm gonna go cry now.

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I would be Jesus, if I could get rid of these damn anti-Jesite demons.

Cheese is a wonderful food.

Comic Contest XIV: Terror in the OR by gabe_billings 3-21-01

Doctor, what is it?; Will Gregory be OK?; How's my little boy? Not good, I'm afraid; There were some complications; We operated. Operate? Dear Lord!; What kind of a procedure?; What was done to him? We needed a heart; and used one from a woodchuck; Not a great idea. You pathetic quack; Malpractice suit, here I come; I'll sue his pants off. I've learned my lesson; Man was not meant to play God; Even with woodchucks.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Comic Contest XIV:The World's First Haiku Limerick by Twins! by ObiJo 3-21-01

Here is a story; From the best category; And do not worry Or be too upset; If you don’t give a she-yet; For here is the bet Yes, here is the schtick; Can we write a limerick; Can we write it quick? I once knew a girl; Who had come from Nantucket; Whatever she saw… She would then..umm...DAMN! Idiot.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

http://www.lowpass.net/stripcreator/view.php?ID=10503

Comic Contest XIV: Sad but true haiku... by wirthling 3-21-01

My name's Gabe Billings; I am a colossal geek; Low Pass is my home. Gabey, I miss you!; We haven't had sex for weeks; Do you still love me? Statistics don't lie; I make more comics than God; This is my purpose. We can't pay the bills; They've shut off our water and; the dog is on fire! No time to sleep now; The magic number awaits; - one hundred thousand! I want a divorce; I have found another man; His name's ObiJo.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Wirthling... You goatfucker. You are a funny, funny man. I bow to your talent. You made me choke on my yogurt.

Gabe

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

lol lol Obi!!!!

yeesh I'm dying over here!

"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia; and only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on line!"

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

Comic Contest XIV - Haiku is hard, so there is no speech. by BigEvilDan 3-22-01

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

man WHY O WHY haiku??? why not something like limericks or simple. Isn't enough I have to use my brain at work all day, but now I have to put it into overdrive to do comix too????!

;)

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

It might be hard to tell, but every bit of dialogue in here really is haiku...

Comic Contest XIV: You'll see... by NeoVid 3-22-01

This is a haiku; they're all that's in this comic; since it's a contest. }{3y y0u |_15+3|\| up; \/\/3 83++3r \/\/1|\| +}{15 |)4/\/\/\/\1+; 0r 1 15 qu1++1|\|6!!!! Think we should forfeit? That might be for the best, but; it's the last panel.

The Caption Guy said he's quitting if this doesn't win.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

933, +}{4+ \/\/0u|_|) 83 4 5}{4/\/\3...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I showed my wife your comic. She laughed harder than I did.

Is the Dis Wirthling Contest Over Yet? by gabe_billings 3-22-01

I got a riddle for you. How man wirthlings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I give up. How many? Who gives a shit? Wirthling's a big penis, and no one likes him but his mom. And even she has her doubts. That's a pretty stupid riddle. I'm a pretty stupid person. What's your point? Nothing, really.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

What you say!? I had to reformat my hard drive and lost all my bookmarks! I even forgot the address to get to my email! Anyway, i missed the last contest, so here's this one.

Comic contest XIV: All your Haiku are... shit. by Bottlerockett 3-22-01

Creativity; I missed a contest; Hey! It's me, bottlerockett!; What did I miss, yo? Popular culture; reflected in comic strip; None were safe from it. The lack thereof makes for poor; Oh. well O.K. then; "All your base are belong to-"; Wait, that doesn't fit. Winds on high plains blow; Ripples in the sea of grass; All for great justice. Comic strip entries. What you say? It's you!; I have no chance to survive; I must make my time! Pebbles crush beneath; walking along the river; Launch every zig.

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http://wally.pgbco.com

Re: Is the Dis Wirthling Contest Over Yet?

Thank you, sir, may I please have another?!

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

quote:

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lol lol Obi!!!!

yeesh I'm dying over here!

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Ask and Ye Shall Receive by gabe_billings 3-23-01

This plan is perfect. Wirthling will never know what hit him. You sure it'll work? Of course. Once he falls through the trapdoor, the lemmings pour out of this chute. When they're finished the walls will start to move in. Ha ha! Into the garbage chute, flyboy! But why are we using Ricky Martin as bait? Two words, my friend. Repressed homosexuality. Tell me... Were you born this stupid or did you have to work at it?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Gabe,

I think you need to make bar charts of the testosterone levels that occur when you and Obi and Wirth are trying to "he-man" each other.

That'd be pretty cool!

Meanwhile, I'm just going to watch while ya'll battle it out!

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

Have I mentioned that I look just like Russell Crowe? Especially when I wear my gladiator costume...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

blech...now if you had said Matthew McConaughey or Christian Slater, I'd have been all over that line ;)

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

My wife has informed me that I am not allowed to flirt. Especially not with Jael-bait...

My wife thinks I look more like Brad Pitt in "Interview with the Vampire." I think she might have a point if Brad Pitt was 80 lbs. overweight and had a scraggly wanna-beard (also fondly referred to by my wife as my "chin-a-pet")...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Unfortunately, I'm the doppelganger of a young Ed Asner. I do wear this killer cologne, however.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

...and I look homeless.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Jael-bait. Haha! You're silly.

As you can see by this simple chart, my testosterone levels have far surpassed those of wirthless and obi-gyn.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I object to that chart. Janet Reno is way manlier than Bo & Luke Duke...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."