I've read through almost a hundred strips now and laughed at exactly none of them (including mine), so I can say this without exaggeration:

We are not funny.

I think that I may have given one strip out of that hundred an eight. In retrospect, that was probably because the strips preceding it were so incredibly unfunny that it seemed like an embarrassing wealth of comedy genius.

I'd give everybody zeroes if I could. Unfortunately, the voting scale only goes down to one. Perhaps the good people at Lowpass could create a new "Top Ten Unfunniest" list. That'd be super.

Actually, because of the primitive way the scores are calculated, you can hit "refresh" instead of voting, and that equates to a "0" vote. When I'm bored enough to scroll randomly through comics I do that a lot.

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"Old" is the old new.

If you think there are no funny comics, you haven't been reading the right ones. Over on the left of this message, click on my name, and then have a look at some of the authors I have listed on my profile page. They are some of the best, in my opinion. They, in turn, will have links to their favourites.

It's a great way to find quality - find someone you like, then find out who THEY like, and so on.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Oh, these things are supposed to be funny? Why didn't anybody tell me that earlier?!

In that case, I guess I shouldn't bother with that series of comics I was about to do on process engineering in the textile industry...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

[Click to view comic: 'My father never appreciated me either, johnnysokko']

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

quote:

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We are not funny.

...

I'd give everybody zeroes if I could.

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I never thought of it that way. If Bil Keane can be published, then dammit every strip on the web site should be in the Gugenheim. Even the "refresh"ers.

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"Old" is the old new.

[Click to view comic: 'Crappy Jesus Strips: Where would we be without them?']

There's a pretty bad signal/noise ratio here, and that's why I've pretty much stopped the random viewing of comics. You're better off finding some strips you do enjoy and read the ones done by those authors. And sometimes the lack of funny can be funny. Most of my original strips were jabs at the stupid comics around here.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

I've become a complete slacker. All I really do is read the message boards. Any comics I make are for the contest, or just another way to talk to people or make fun of wirthling. Case in point...

[Click to view comic: 'Apathy, Inc.']

It's been so long since I've voted on a comic I've forgotten how.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

A few points, if I may....

1): Nobody has a gun to your head to read this shit.

2): Who's "we"?

3): The preponderance of material on here is written by a pack of lamers. The reason that there remains some sembalance of elitism here, is that the elite authors who work here are fuck off funny, Ahab. With or without you.

4): We ARE funnier that most of the crap in syndie.... Have you bloody well read Marmaduke or Cathy lately? Give it a rest, mate.

I don't know if you contribute here, or just piss and moan, but it's time to put a quarter in the meter or go back to surfing persiankitty for pictures of your mum.

Cheers.

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Bunner, I feel you fell into the same trap of spreading hate, in fact...Ok, I'm just fucking around this time. Put down the shiv.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

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Bunner, I feel you fell into the same trap of spreading hate, in fact...Ok, I'm just fucking around this time. Put down the shiv.

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Sure! I wasn't planning on responding to any of the replies as several posters have already made some good points, but you seem to be hankering for a fracas. On to your post!

This is true. Still, I was kinda hoping to laugh.

I think that's made clear in the subject line.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that the elite authors (I'm guessing that you consider yourself in that category) are "fuck off funny."

Whatever you say, Guv'nor! Only half-kidding. Proclaiming that our strips are funnier than the syndicated strips isn't saying much. Dog poop may smell less offensive than horse poop but man, it still stinks. Oddly enough, they both taste equally delicious.

Tou-chy! My mom makes me pay to see her dirty pictures. Can you believe that? Her own son! On the other hand, your mum gives her pictures away for free. There's no competing with that! She's hot, too. Bad teeth and all...

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Cheers.

bunner

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No, I meant put down the shiv, as in don't come after me for fucking around with that old love/hate dialogue, like...oh fuck it. Nobody gets me.

As for the rest of it, I'm just gonna pull up a chair and some popcorn and watch the bloodshed. Game on.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Ohhhh, I'm get it. My bad. You just want to start a lame assed flame war. I thought you actually were trying to say something. Sorry. Carry on.

zZZzZZZzZ

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

"Flame" is such an ugly word. I think "playful teasing" is a much better term for what I was doing; and I'm sure that others would agree if they carefully read your post and my response. Admit it-- you overreacted a tad.

Here, I made a comic especially for you:

[Click to view comic: 'bunnerabb and I are lovers!']

It's not going to be on a Hallmark card anytime soon, but it's the best I can do. I'm sorry! Let's make up!

Oh yeah, baby! Time for the make up sex! Hooyah! I'm so jealous...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Actually, I don't think of the group of us who hang out here as "elite" - I think of us more like a clique of obsessive-compulsive geeks who happen to share a common (more-or-less) sense of humor. We generally find our own comics a hell of a lot funnier than the standard newspaper comics, but then again we're a bunch of warped bastards. Not everybody finds anal rape and homicidal robots as funny as we do. Go figure.

Funny is an entirely subjective thing. Except for in the case of Gabe Billings, of course. Only his mother finds him funny, and even then not for the reasons he'd like.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Yeah, I'm so unfunny it makes my head hurt. The only reason I'm here is to turn out bar graphs and give wirthling the choadsmoker someone to pick on.

But it'll be a different story when my army of Avon-disguised red robots show up at his house.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

quote:

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Bunner, I feel you fell into the same trap of spreading hate, in fact...Ok, I'm just fucking around this time. Put down the shiv.

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Shiv? You wound me, sir. That's not hate. That's a review. I suggest H.L. Mencken, Florence King, and Dorthy Parker as light reading.

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Better how? "Less hair under her arms" better or "SHE'LL return my calls" better?

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

You wouldn't know funny if it clanked up to you in a robot suit and anally raped you!

(Hint: The above is funny.)

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What others say about boorite!

OK, Johnny Sukko-- this should settle the question of whether we're funny or not.

[Click to view comic: 'Giddyap']

It helps if you get the puns from the original Aramaic, but still.

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What others say about boorite!

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It helps if you get the puns from the original Aramaic, but still.

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And gods forbid you try to win a comics contest around here if you don't share that exact sense of humor! You have to wait until someone makes rules so offensive that only 3 people enter the contest.

quote:

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You wouldn't know funny if it clanked up to you in a robot suit and anally raped you!

(Hint: The above is funny.)

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