yeah, you're all dumbasses, but i have one in particular. his name is JP and he's one of my roommates. he's a jesus lover and he takes everything way too seriously because apparently someone stole his sense of humor. here is the story about me and him:

hevquip's house pt. 1 by hevquip 12-13-02

this story is about a roommate of mine. hi. i'm JP. hevquip is a dick. i love jesus and i take everything too seriously. he takes everything too seriously. last night hevquip stacked boxes up in front of my door, so when i came out of my room this morning, they all fell on me. i smashed up his boxes because they're worth all my hate. i woke up and laughed my ass off in bed. he doesn't know though. it's fucking funny to me that someone gets pissed at some boxes. all my stomping on his poor boxes woke him up at approximately 6:48 AM

hevquip's house pt. 2 by hevquip 12-13-02

all my roommates i'm mike, another one of hevquip's roommates. what hevquip did was funny as hell, but very inconsiderate to ME because i have to work ALL DAY with JP and he'll be in a pissy mood. they understand JP i'm jearl, another one of hevquip's roommates. i sleep in the room across from JP. it's funny to hear someone stomping up and down on boxes in the morning. he kicked some too. JP needs to lighten up. but they support me i helped hevquip take boxes upstairs so he could stack them in front of JP's door.

hevquip's house pt. 3 by hevquip 12-13-02

my words hi, i'm hevquip. i even stacked a BIG box and leaned it against the door so it fell on him. too bad i was asleep, but JP's stomping and crunching woke me up and i layed in bed laughing at JP. as the truth it's funny how he can direct all his pissed-offness and hate towards some boxes. i've never met someone like him, someone that cant take shit and cant take a joke. i cant wait for him to get home. i am right. then again, he has to get pissed at boxes seeing he's half my size and that i'm 6'4" with 9 years Tae Kwon Do experience.

hevquip's house pt. 4 by hevquip 12-13-02

i am a nice guy not that i would fight him because i could wrap his ass around a tree and uppercut his head off, but mainly for the fact that it was a funny joke and should be taken light-hearted. but sometimes JP needs a reality-check so in the meantime, i'll sit at home and wait for him to get off work so i can watch him brood about it. seriously, it's only so long it happens. unless he dies of a brain aneurism or heart attack first, which wouldn't be surprising seeing that he doesn't exactly cope with "reality"

and while we're on the subject of dumbasses, tell me about some you all know. you know, those people that irk the living shit out of you and drive you mad.

he drives really crappy slow too. oh yeah, we also call him "hitler" because his mustache looks like hitler's. it's actually grown in all above the lip, but the edges of it aren't dark, so he looks like he's sporting a hitler 'stache. we tell him to shave it, but he's a little bitch about it.

Hey, I used to have a roommate named JP who was really religious (a creationist, in fact) and maybe took things a little too seriously. I don't think he looked like Hitler, though. And I never saw him get mad at any boxes.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

You all mock my moustache now, but some day everyone will be copying my style.

Does this count as an invocation of Godwin's Law?

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-- If you call me insane again, I will eat your other eye. /usr/bin/w00t

i also think JP is a perv voyeur because i had my girlfriend over the other day and we were going at it downstairs in my room (which unfortunately has no door). all my other roommates left the house, but he decided to stay behind and was telling them all the things he could hear.

Geez, Mike, you don't have to tell the world about it.

Wait, is that you, Mike? Oh, er, nevermind.

Um, I'm not a perv voyeur... honest!

Yawn...............

ha HA devin. i have a roommate named mike too. now if you were only actually JP...