I want that bed made so tight you could bounce a cat on it!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Dave eventually got used to the glowing eyes, but the way Fluffy would just hover there and slowly rotate never ceased to creep him out.

"Scrooge! Tonight you will be visited by the spirits of three cats..."

Sure, Erwin's telekenesis went over big with the ladies, but Whiskers wished he would just cut it the hell out.

And you thought the DOG was flatulent!

Little known science fact: the ugliness of your pillowcases can be measured by the amount of force by which they repel your cat.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Did you know: the uglier the cat, the bouncier it gets?

With just one powerful inhalation, Erwin was able to suck the family pet deep into the dark recesses of his monstrous nostrils.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

"Haha, bet you can't figure this one Schrodinger! Am I flying, or not flying, or in a state of both?"

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There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't

"Why are you wearing that stupid cat suit?"
"Why are you wearing that stupid human suit?"

quote:

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"Why are you wearing that stupid cat suit?"
"Why are you wearing that stupid human suit?"

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The telekenesis classes at the community college were making things a lot more interesting for Steve, but the cat... well, the cat wishes he would just take ceramics.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

"Okay, I believe you're really Nadia Comanici. I'm still not going to kiss you to break the curse."

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Please remember to spay and neuter your elected representatives.

"the trials of being David Copperfield's cat..."

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Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

Bill's girlfriend was having nightmares so he bought her a hanging dream catcher...He was having rodent problems so she bought him a hanging mouse catcher.

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L to E to the A to the H

Whilst attempting to murder the President's personal gardener, Nightcrawler's mutant powers take an unexpected turn for the worse...

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Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. - Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 - 1972)

WEEEE

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

he must have sat on a really hot heat blanket.

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never piss on someone when they are sleeping.cause you know you got'a sleep sometime to.