Finally! A campground where open fires are permitted year-round.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

"See that sign? If you kids don't be quiet I'm pulling the car over RIGHT HERE!"

Does God's Kingdom have eight-hour jet ski rentals? Ha! Didn't think so.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

So THIS is where Richard Simmons does his daily jogs...

"Fine for littering is eternal torture and $500."

Later on it was revealed that Satan was really a used-car salesman named Jim Satan who only wanted to rest and relax in his own park but unfortunely was devoured by demonic pines the day the park opened.

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Even Bob Hope is more punk than me.

"Yes, we do realize it's snowing outside. You're the hundredth person to tell us."

It used to be on fire, until the hard work of Smokey The Bear fixed that.

Jesus Christ, how many times do I have to fucking tell you, I'm a hairy demon of Nezzrel, not a god damn bear!

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. -Weird Al Yankovic

The multi-use laws for state and national parks allows for fishing, camping, farming, strip mining, sodomy, and the devouring of souls on these premises.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet