One month, 136 strips. My favourites from the last week...

Invalid Entry by choadwarrior 5-21-03

This is the best gift ever. Are you a wise-cracking robot like Rosie on the Jetsons, or Twiki on Buck Rogers? No, I'm a sex-bot, like Daryl Hannah in Blade Runner. You don't look anything like Daryl Hannah. I can be re-programmed to play chess. Just remember to turn on my self-clean cycle every now and then. It ain't pretty when I get backed up.

Proclivities by choadwarrior 5-21-03

Don't get me wrong, I like being a sex-bot, but honestly, humans can be so frustrating sometimes. Yeah, so insensitive. And they never care about our needs. Just once, I'd like to have sex with someone who treated me like an equal. So....have you ever thought about...you know...um...other robots? Whoa...I may have my issues, but I'm definitely hetero. Sigh.

Aunt Flo Gives It Two Thumbs Up by choadwarrior 5-21-03

So tell me, what do you do all weekend, you never tell us. I'm writing a screenplay. REALLY??? What is it about? How working with a bunch of pre-menopausal women is hell because they're all on the same menstrual cycle. Aww, c'mon, I thought you bitches love period films.

Coming to Theaters Everywhere, Every Summer by choadwarrior 5-22-03

Do you wanna play "Buddy Cop Movie?" How do you play that? I'll be the by-the-book rookie, you'll be the loose-cannon veteran. You make wise-cracks, violate suspects' civil rights, and shoot a lot of people. What else do I have to do? After turning in your shield and gun to our black captain who is getting pressured by the mayor, you have to avenge my death. Sounds like a blockbuster.

Honey, Let's Rent This One! by choadwarrior 5-24-03

I've decided that if I ever want to find a man, I have to pattern my love life after a chick-flick. I'll be happy to help. Perfect--'ll start by pointing out all your bad habits. You act annoyed, but then... ...through a series of wacky montage scenes, you'll realize you need to change for me. No. No. No. What I meant was that I'd be your overly flamboyant gay friend that you only see in two scenes.

[Click to view comic: 'Coming Up, On a Very Special Episode']
[Click to view comic: 'I Rebuke Thee']
[Click to view comic: 'Fool Me Twice']

Coming Up, On a Very Special Episode by choadwarrior 5-24-03

Wanna play "TV Hospital Drama?" No, let's play "Hip New Sit-Com." Okay, I'm going to spin-off, but you can stay here and play "Tired, Old Sit-Com." How do you play that? Hi...I'm your new little sister.

I Rebuke Thee by choadwarrior 5-23-03

Satan, I think I lead a good life. I'll do anything to get out of here.. Anything? [Slurp. Slurp. Slurrrrrp.] Oh, this is great... So do I get to go to Heaven now? Well, to be honest, that's God's call, not mine--and what you just did isn't going to help your case at all.

Fool Me Twice by choadwarrior 5-27-03

Look, I'm really sorry I tricked you into believing I could get you into Heaven. I'll go easy on you for the next 1,000 years, but first you have to do one thing for me. You aren't lying to me again are you? Shut up and take your dentures out.

Tomorrow's Sermon by choadwarrior 5-25-03

I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and across the skies flashed scenes from my life. I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One was mine, and the set belonged to the Lord. I looked back at the footprints in the sand, and to my surprise, I noticed that many times along the path of my life there was only one set of footprints. I aked why during the most troublesome times in my life he would not walk beside me when I needed him the most. And the Lord said... That's when I thought you were getting too clingy, so I went out and got me some strange.

Dirty, Dirty, Must Make Clean! by choadwarrior 5-27-03

People always ask me why I have to be so offensive all the time. I dunno why. I guess it's kinda like a compulsion. You know...like picking your scabs and eating them.

Hey! That's My Wife! by choadwarrior 5-30-03

I was bottle-fed as a baby. I can't believe your mama didn't breast feed you. Dude...my mom is a mid-western Methodist woman... So? Methodists are so repressed, they serve Welch's Grape Juice instead of wine for communion...what makes you think they'd let their babies suck on tits?

What a Ho (Ho Ho) by choadwarrior 5-31-03

Oh my God! Santa! Welcome to my living room--it's so great to finally meet you! You know I'm into older men...oh, I just love your sexy grey beard... How did this guy stay off the naughty list? So does the carpet match the drapes?

You People are So Dirty by choadwarrior 5-31-03

We've bombed every inch of your country and we still can't find any weapons of mass destruction. You should check in my pants, cowboy. Oh, very funny...is that some kind of joke about your big penis? No. I just exploded a dirty bomb.

My God man, these are awesome.

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Those really are excellent.

"Coming Up, On a Very Special Episode" is one of the most wittily insightful comics I've seen in a long time.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Thanks to both of you.

And yeah, with regard to "special episode," adding new kids when a sitcom loses its steam is my most hated cliche...let's rattle them off...cousin oliver, andy on family ties, chrissy AND luke on growing pains, the cavalcade of new cosby kids, seven on married with children...

christ, I watch too much crappy tv.

Yeah, except for The Facts of Life, where they used to kill off kids every time the ratings dipped. At the end, all they had were Natalie and Tootie.

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

I think Blaire ate the others.

Very good stuff.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.