Before I knew it, I created a series...

When You're on Death Row, You're Family by choadwarrior 6-12-03

I'm here to take your order for your last meal. You can have anything you want. Great! I'd like some seafood fettuccine from Olive Garden. No, really...you can have ANYTHING. Whatever you want...it's okay. Then I'll also have lots and lots of bread sticks and their giant salad drenched in ranch dressing. Work with me here...we're trying to do something nice for you before we kill you.

You're Asking For It by choadwarrior 6-12-03

I ain't got nothin' to confess. You need to face God with a clean soul. Are you sure there isn't anything you need to tell me? I've said all I need to say to you. Isn't it true that you just ordered food from Olive Garden for your last meal? Yes. And you aren't the least bit remorseful?

The Will of the People by choadwarrior 6-12-03

Governor, I respectfully request that you grant my client clemency and commute her death sentence to life in prison. Twelve citizens sitting on a jury in this state recommended that she get the death penalty. Why should I ignore their verdict? She has accepted her role in the crime and has expressed remorse for the victims' families. Is it true she ordered Olive Garden for her last meal? Hmmm...I hadn't considered the insanity defense. Will you buy that? Look, I really can't see any benefit to letting her live.

Public Enema #1 by choadwarrior 6-12-03

DEAD WOMAN WALKING! Is it true that I'll lose complete control of my bodily functions? Yes. Is that from the chemicals in the lethal injection? No, from the Olive Garden food in your stomach. Maybe we should walk a little faster.

Gasp! by choadwarrior 6-12-03

Any last words before we put you in the gas chamber? GAS CHAMBER? I thought you were going to execute me by lethal injection. Yeah, that was before we knew you were going to order Olive Garden for your last meal. We figured we could save some money on chemicals if we sealed you in the old gas chamber and let you fart yourself to death.