I'm not totally done for yet.

Telemarketing | by Scyess 6-14-03

Hello, is this Don? This is "Jon." Hi, Don, you have been specially selected from an exclusive list to recieve the offer for... This "exclusive list" wouldn't be "the phone book," would it? No, of course not. Actually, it's a list of everyone who has ever come within 300 yards of a phone. That sounds pretty exclusive.

Telemarketing ][ by Scyess 6-14-03

So for the low, low rate of $19.95 a day for seven years, you can recieve our product. Any questions? Does it work? Um... that's not really written on the data sheet here... Oh, then I'm sure it's just fine.

Telemarketing ]|[ by Scyess 6-14-03

So how many do you want to order, sir? Don't be so formal. You can call me by name. So, how many do you want to order, Don? Actually, I prefer "Mr." plus my surname. But... your last name has more letters in it than the alphabet. And pronounce it right; I'd hate to think I'm buying rectal squeegees from a total stranger.

Telemarketing |V by Scyess 6-14-03

Sir? Are your products really as great as you make them sound? Even better! Will you go out with me? Are you blond, well-muscled, tall, and earning $200K a year? Even more!

Telemarketing V by Scyess 6-14-03

I'm not a date-line; I just want to sell you our revolutionary products. If you go out with me I'll make it worth your while. You'd have to order 100 for me to even consider it. Put me down for 300, and overnight delivery! See you tomorrow night at 7:00. It's no use, dick. I can't find my credit card. You should cancel it before someone runs up your charges.

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"Old" is the old new.

funny.

Telemarketing V| by Scyess 6-14-03

Dammit, dick, someone ran up $400,000 of charges on my credit card before I cancelled. Well, we'll just track where the stuff goes, and catch the bastard. That's no good. We just had 300 rectal squeegies and 5000 cases of hummus soda delivered here. What am I going to do with all this stuff, dick? Um, sir, I'm John Ashcroft, the Attourney General. Not the vice president. I know. "Dick" wasn't capitalized. Ah.

Telemarketing V][ by Scyess 6-14-03

I have a date with the telemarketing chick tonight. Doesn't she think you're blond, tall, muscular, and rich? No problem, for I am... the master of disguise!!! Aha! Instantly rich-looking. We'll worry about the other stuff later. Rich people don't usually wear old tuxedo coats from the neighborhood garage sale.

Telemarketing V]|[ by Scyess 6-14-03

Hi, I'm Telley, we... hey, didn't you tell me you're "tall, blond, and muscular?" Didn't you tell me the rectal squeegees you sold me "wouldn't cause tearing or lesions"? Touché. I hope you don't mind eating at the stand-up restaraunt.

Telemarketing |X by Scyess 6-14-03

Gee, Jon, you're not half as bad as I thought you'd be, even though you lied about your appearance. WOO-HOO! Hey, your jacket fell off! I can see through your disguise. You lied about your wealth, too, didn't you? Um... no? But I don't get it... how could you afford to order 300 rectal squeegees? I found the president's credit card. Look, you can still see the cocaine around the edges.

Telemarketing X by Scyess 6-14-03

Welcome, sir. Our specials tonight are lemongrass seared sturgeon with caramelized banana coconut curry and pepper crusted rack of lamb with an apple white-wine glaze. Our soup is Crème of Pumpkin and our salad is mesclun with walnuts and pine nuts. Would you like a few moments to decide? Naw, just grill us up some cheeseburgers. And hold the bun on mine. So that's two patties and one bun. Anything else? Yes, could you dredge them through the gunk under the deep-fat-fryer a few times? Thanks.

More later. Maybe.

PS Did Brad change the number of comics allowable in one window from 5 back to 8?

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"Old" is the old new.

I got caller ID the first week it was available in my area--I don't think I've talked to a telemarketer in 8 years.

One of the few series that hasnt wasted my time in a bad way. Very cool.

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

Great series, dripping with greasy sarcasm.

Old threads will display 8 comics per-post, I think, newer ones just 5.

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Dad was flammable

Old threads will display 8 comics per-post, I think, newer ones just 5.

Actually, I was viewing an old thread, and I do believe that the last few comics had a "click to view" instead of the comics. However, I didn't really count the comics, it may have been more than 8... I just thought I remembered them all showing up.

Great series.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Part V][ reminds me why you're my third-favourite stripper.

...as opposed to my second or first.

Lol. Just joshin'. Great stuff!

quote:

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Part V][ reminds me why you're my third-favourite stripper.

...as opposed to my second or first.

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Well, that's one way of putting it, yes.

Before yet another of my comic thread goes into the crapper, I figured I'd at least try to give this one more of an ending...

Telemarketing X| by Scyess 6-21-03

I'll bet it sucks to be in telemarketing. Yeah, but it pays the bills. What do you do? Um, sit around with my pink cow friend, mostly. It doesn't really pay the bills, but it's better than calling total strangers who hate you. But how do you have that huge house, and, well, what's paying for this dinner? Let's just say I've severed all ties with a certain crotchety old bitch called "reality." That would explain why I'm on this date.

Telemarketing X][ by Scyess 6-21-03

Well, here we are back at my place after a wonderful evening. Would you care to come in for a little... drink? I really don't think I should... Oh, come now, it's the 21st century, and we're both adults... No, it's not that. It's more just that I hate you. Oh. Tell you what. I'll come in if you promise I can mace you.

Telemarketing X]|[ by Scyess 6-21-03

Telley, I'd like you to meet my pink cow friend, Cowdjinn. Oh my god... Look, I know it's a bit wierd for a man to have a pink cow chained to his closet, but once you get to know -- OH MY GOD, it's YOU! Why hello, Telley. Or should I say, "Dominique de Renault!" Well, at least we can skip the whole "awkwardness of meeting a talking pink cow" thing...

Telemarketing X|V by Scyess 6-21-03

That's a long, complicated story about how you two met. Let me get this straight... Okay, you recap while I go hump your date. You met in a small cafe on a tepid night in Belgium in 1947. You were both exhausted. You were seeking solace in the warmth of another living creature, never suspecting you were really enemies... Your shirt is adorable, Mademoiselle. I love the color. Why, Monsieur! Wait a minute... did you say "hump my date?" Um, Cowdjinn? **hump*hump*hump**

Telemarketing XV by Scyess 6-21-03

Goddam it, I hope you enjoyed humping my date. I ate her. YOU CAN SPARE ME THE GRAPHIC DETAILS. No, I mean, when I was done, I ate her. Did anyone who might miss her know she was coming here tonight? I would be quite pissed off at you right now if she weren't a telemarketer. ...which reminds me. Be careful of those rectal squeegees she sold you. It seems they cause tearing and lesions.

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"Old" is the old new.

Another 15 reasons why RMDC is worth reading every once in a while.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

I WILL *NOT* BE READING THESE :<

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I can't come to the phone right now, because I got banned.

awwww, too bad. we really want to hear your opinion.