Before I post one, let me get this out of the way... My mom's reaction to my comics...

"You're the saddest, piss-poor excuse for a man I've ever seen, you chromosome-deficient, uber-impotent, rat-faced tard-popsicle. I'm not surprised you're single, you pimple-faced perpetual wedgie victim. If you're average looking, I'm Brad Pitt. Your face should be sued for attempting to impersonate a human, you freakish gargoyle. You're a politically vacillating phony liberal fuck; too damn broadminded to take your own side in a debate. Smart? Who are you trying to kid? Single-celled organisms out-score you in IQ tests. How come you're so tall? Did your mother mate with a giraffe? You scrawny-assed, anorexic African famine victim; if you had dreads, I'd grab you by your ankles and use you to mop the floor. Professional, my ass. You couldn't win a cigar after giving birth in a tobacco field in Havana, you clueless, uber-incompetent fuckwit. I like that outfit you're wearing. You should hang on to it. It'll probably come back in style some day. Do yourself and everyone else a favor: jump into a raging forest fire. Oh yeah, and your comics suck!"

Gotta love mothers!

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]

Your mom asked you if she had sex with a giraffe?

What can I say... she's not a well woman... hates going to the well...
The Emiko and SukiYuki Show

Most Extreme Elimination Challenge by Boritom 6-18-03

My friend, Suki, can do a trick! Yes... Watch! AAaaaaaiiiiieeee!!!! Problem is, she can only do it once!

Fwooom! by Boritom 6-18-03

So, Emiko, where's your friend, Suki? Dead. Dead?!? How did that happen? Spontaneous Human Combustion, for Entertainment purposes only! Bummer! No shit, the little bitch owed me $30!

Somebody please kill me! by Boritom 6-18-03

Hi... are you my new co-host here on Stripcreator? I got a big ol' itch that I'll let you scratch for $5. What? Are you bi? I don't think I like where this is going... Lets have a pajama party at my house... I got Tatu's newest CD, and some roofies!

Crass of 2003 by Boritom 6-18-03

Look, you disgusting little whore... except for that "Sucky Sucky" strip I did about 50 strips back, I've kept it pretty mellow! Keep your filthy mouth to yourself, or I'll shut it for you... PERMANENTLY!!! You're sexy when you're mad!

Finito! by Boritom 6-18-03

I'm Warning you, Beotch! Boobies! THAT'S IT!!! AAaaaauuuggghh! Ewwww... Smells like Barbequed douche

[Click to view comic: 'Garfield eats Odie's brains with a straw!']
[Click to view comic: 'Taste me, Taste me...']
[Click to view comic: 'Boobies II: Electric Boogaloo']
[Click to view comic: 'Poot!']
[Click to view comic: 'The Emiko and Fucktard Show']
[Click to view comic: 'The Fucktard and Emiko Show']
[Click to view comic: 'The Emitard and Fuckko Show']
[Click to view comic: 'Fucktard The Show Emiko']
[Click to view comic: 'Prelude to a Resurrection']
[Click to view comic: 'SukiYuki Reloaded']
[Click to view comic: 'Dramatis Finale'']
[Click to view comic: 'Identity Crisis 1']
[Click to view comic: 'Identity Crisis']
[Click to view comic: 'Identity Crisis']
[Click to view comic: 'Identity Crisis 4']
[Click to view comic: 'Crisis resolved... sorta!']

This is why I need medication!

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]

meh.

MY FUCKING DICK ITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WANG WANG WANG DILDO ANAL HOLE GAS UNCLE HUMPER!!!!

1010101001 010010101010 0101010100101001 10101010101 001010101001100101010101001100 10 01 010 101 10100101001010 100 0 0001010100 010 001001010 010010101010 010010010100 01010 010

DIE BARBARA STREISAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (SEVEN PANTHER)

Goddamn, all my comics suck worse than usual today... Example...

Bestia de la muerte de la felicidad by Boritom 6-20-03

Fear not, young Asian child. Fucktard is here to save you! From what? The clutches of Eeeeevil! Look, jerk, waddya want? Ich möchte Ihre Brüste berühren I don't have any breasts yet! Fuck off!

I have diarrhea... maybe that's the problem. I can't be creative with a runny bottom!

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]

Okay... this one got some good reviews at work...

Luv Stories by Boritom 6-24-03

Dream Sequence... I am so in love with you, Adam... I want to be with you forever! My Darling, nothing could make me happier. I will be your anchor in the storm, the muse in your art... My sweet, you already are! Reality invades... ...but I kiss you after you eat me out... I know... It's just... eww... Gross!

NSFW?

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]

quote:

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MY FUCKING DICK ITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WANG WANG WANG DILDO ANAL HOLE GAS UNCLE HUMPER!!!!

1010101001 010010101010 0101010100101001 10101010101 001010101001100101010101001100 10 01 010 101 10100101001010 100 0 0001010100 010 001001010 010010101010 010010010100 01010 010

DIE BARBARA STREISAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (SEVEN PANTHER)

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The Epic Saga of Fucktard comes to a head...

Fucktard Vs Cthulhu by Boritom 6-25-03

Chapter One: The Gauntlet! Cthulhu, o minion of Evil. I, Fucktard the Flatulent challenge thee to the ultimate battle of good over evil! Yeah... Okay, whatever.

Fucktard Vs Cthulhu by Boritom 6-25-03

Chapter Two: Bloodletting! Prepare to meet thy doom, evil one! mmph... Whatever. ~nnnngggggggrrrr rrrrrzzzzzhhhhh hhhheeeeee... Uhhh... What the fuck are you doing? Wishing cancer on you... Just like Stern did to Imus! Oh Brother!

Fucktard Vs Cthulhu by Boritom 6-25-03

Chapter Three: Gas Attack! And now, I shall unleash upon you my most heinous secret weapon! You're gonna fart on me, right? I... errr... Who told you? Just a hunch.

Fucktard Vs Cthulhu by Boritom 6-25-03

Chapter Four: Redemption This is it, Spawn of Satan! Prepare to Die! Oh, Dearie Me! ~pffrrt~ Dork!

Fucktard Vs Cthulhu by Boritom 6-25-03

Chapter Five: Endgame And Now, foolish mortal... I shall unleash upon You MY secret weapon! Wait right there! Uh oh! ??? Ka-Zaah! Aaaaaeeeiiiii!!!!

thump

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]

One more...

Fucktard's Revenge by Boritom 6-25-03

Epilogue He he he he he... I thought you were flame retardant, jerkface! I... I was... Cthulhu must have used his evil powers to disrupt the physical laws that protected me! Hehehe... Well, Douchebag, consider yourself good and smacked-Down! ~pffrrt!

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]

Goddamn, I fucking suck today!

Had a cool idea inspired by a comment in another thread and screwed up by posting this...

Tobor Cornholes Sucky Sucky SPLOOOGE!!! by Boritom 6-26-03

Now that Suki has been cured of her brain damage, there is something I want you all to see me say to her! Well...? I hate you with an all-consuming vitriolic bloodlust! I wish you would have your ovaries strangle you from inside. Wow... You're really a cunt, aren't you!

Then I got around to attempting my original idea, and forgot the punchline, so I ended up with this shite:

Tobor Cornhole Sucky Sucky SPLOOOGE!!! Redux! by Boritom 6-26-03

This is kinda what I meant to do... ...and I was just, like, 'So?', and he just looks at me, like, 'So what?', so you know what I did? No, what? I bit him in half, and spit his entrails out all over his house... he he he... isn't that fucking Hilarious... HA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!! Well... not really. It's kinda gross. Not much of an improvement, I know... Man... What's happened to you? You've fuckin' Changed, Dude. I'm a scientologist, now... things are just... different!

Somebody shoot me now...

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]

Wait a minute... YOUR MOM'S BRAD PITT?!?

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

Okay... I think this one's pretty good... Thoughts?

144 by Boritom 6-27-03

Tobor Cornhole you NOW! No, Tobor cornhole YOU Now! Uhh... Err... Okay, which of us is the evil twin? How should I know? Robots can't grow goatees!

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]

148 - which is 147 too many, I think... by Boritom 6-27-03

So, Fucktard... I, UberMan, want to offer you a position as my sidekick, my flatulent Tard Wonder as it were. That's very nice of you, UberMan, but I prefer to work solo. You'll get a really nice cape, and some superpowers! What do I need all that for, when I've got my superlong Quantuum Sphincter of Amazing Stench? That's not much of a superpower thingy, though... Did I mention it doubles as a can opener?

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]

This one is not meant to insult the character's creators, by the way...

Self Awareness comes with a price! by Boritom 7-01-03

Order your food, or Tobor cornhole you NOW! I want to rip your spleen out and eat it in front of you while you die! Tobor have no spleen. No chewy spleen to feast on? Whaaaa... Tobor nothing but a glorified sex-bot! Don't take it so hard... I'm a one-joke character, too!

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]

Ha! Funny stuff! Keep up the good work...

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

I have to say, your original comics were awful, but these recent ones (once you got away from your lame-ass series) have been really good. I like the recent ones a lot. Yay!

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Friends... Do Not be Brain Washed!

Scientology for Dummies! (Thanks to Something Awful!) by Boritom 7-03-03

THIS IS TRUTH AND SCIENCE CANNOT SAY IT IS NOT! IF YOU TRY TO PROOF OTHERWISE, YOU WILL BECOME AN EXPLODED PERSON, EXPLODED IN THE HEAD! THIS IS ALL TRUTH, ACCEPT THE LEARNING TRIANGLE NOW BEFORE THE US PRESIDENT CAN MAKE YOU A ZOMBY DUMBY!!! no corners DOES NOT equal infinite corners, the CIRCLE LIES! And squares are composed of TWO TRIANGLES, therefore the Christ symbol is composed of at least 12 Triangles at the least. THIS IS NOT OF THE TRIANGLE, THIS IS OF COPPER AND CIRCLES! AVOID THE CAVES TOO!!! Copper is Made up of circles, this is not a True Element, this is THE BIG LIE!!! Every element has triangles, the triangle is geometry, but the circle is a LIE. TOBOR CORNHOLES IN CIRCLES! IT IS TRUTH AND THE OTHER TRUTHS ARE LIES! JOHN TRAVOLTA IS OUR SAVIOR! AND REMEMBER TO NOT TOUCH THE COPPER!

To find out why we are all zomby dumbys...
http://www.somethingawful.com/learning_triangle/index.htm

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]

All Hail the coming of the NEW DARK LORD!!!

Squirrels are Evil! by Boritom 7-07-03

That was so cool... I just went up in front of that vehicle, gave it the old "Bambi in the Headlights" look... He he he he he he he he heee.... And then it swerves right into oncoming traffic... he he he he heeee... There's your proof! Too bad about that busload of crippled children, though. Ahhh... ya probably did them a favor...

Squirrel in Hell by Boritom 7-07-03

Holy Shit... How did I get here? How d'ya think, asshole? You finally met a car that wouldn't swerve! And... and now I'm in Hell? You bet yer nuts you are. Cool! uh-oh...

Squirrel in Hell 2 by Boritom 7-07-03

Yo, Satan... I think we got a problem here? What now, Leo? Well... it's that squirrel... I'm not sure, but I think he could be trouble. Nonsense... it's just a miserable verminous rodent! What possible threat could he pose to my domain? I see by my records that you're interested in a little payback action down here... How'd ya like a chance to knock the old bastard out of office, eh? Say the word, my friend!

I've been poisoned by irresponsible Geico commercials!

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[i]"For the love of beatings, I plunder until my loins find satisfaction!!" [/i]